Straight Line of the Day: The Secret Service Is Buying a New Limo for Obama. Its Most Notable Feature…

Posted on March 13, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The Secret Service is buying a new limo for Obama. Its most notable feature…

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77 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The Secret Service Is Buying a New Limo for Obama. Its Most Notable Feature…”

  1. FormerHostage says:

    …was that they got if for a low, LOW, LOW PRICE! HOW?!?!?! BECAUSE THEIR VOTER BASE IS CRAAAAAZY!!!!!11!

  2. FormerHostage says:

    …is the big basket in front for Michelle to put the groceries while Barry pretends he’s driving down the aisles.

  3. FormerHostage says:

    …is the flux capacitor.

  4. Steve H says:

    @49 – Loaded up with gladiator movies, no doubt.

  5. FormerHostage says:

    …is that it was a bargain they picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction.

  6. FormerHostage says:

    @54 SpongeBob

  7. Burt says:

    …the new improved ignition switch. (the Beast was recalled)

  8. James says:

    Ejector seat that can literally throw people under the bus.

  9. James says:

    . . . and an automated cookie dispenser (just in case Anonymiss drops by)

  10. Dohtimes says:

    …it’s the retro Republican model, the next prez will ride in a 1973 Ford Pinto convertible.

    …Barack Obama Senior’s advice, “Fear the bucket, fear the bucket” taken into account, this model has bench seats in front.

    …custom acoustics lets him listen to Putin’s orders and echo them to his comrades in the MSM before he ebonicallizes them for voters.

    …gyroscopic seats allow Obama to always be looking down his nose at everyone.

    …hasn’t been driven since 2000, David Carradine will wash AND wax it for free.

  11. Writer says:

    … a White Flag so he is ready for any international actions.

  12. archangel says:

    …is zach galifianakis behind the wheel.

  13. No One Of Consequence says:

    … properly inflated tires

  14. Fangbeer says:

    It comes with its own ditch to drive into

  15. can of spam says:

    @45: It only needs room for Biden; that’s enough clown for anybody.

  16. Oppo says:

    … is the four horsemen under the hood.

    … its that i’s actually known as the Mark II of The Beast.

    … is one that he really likes:
    that it came with a pink slip. (plus proof of ownership.)
    the sound of those “I” beams. And the universal joints.
    the fact that he can tell it’s presidential, because it says “PRNDL” right on the steering column.
    the four on the floor. (just like Sandra Fluke.)

  17. blarg says:

    …it won Motor Trend’s “Car of the Year” before it rolled off the assembly line.

  18. Dohtimes says:

    …it comes with a conversion kit, drawbacks being the gas tank has a pump handle instead of a spout hole, the transgendered transmission makes it nigh impossible to shift gears and Obama is probably the only one who prefers riding in an car sidesaddle.

    …legal in NYC, the bulletproof glass only holds 16 ounces.

  19. Writer says:

    … a new radio with AM/FM/NSA so he can listen in on the public’s phone calls and Sex Lines without paying.

  20. Janeane Garofalo says:

    YOU STOOPID HATEMONGERING RACIST RESCUMLICAN RAPETARDS THE MOST NOTABLE FEATURE OF PRESIDENT OBAMAS(ENDLESS YAYS) LIMO IS THAT IS CAN KEEP ALL THE BONEHEADED MINDLESS WINGNUT LOOSERS AWAY!!!!!!PRESIDENT OBAMA (INFINITE YAYS) NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED FROM ALL THE NUTJOBS ON THE RIGHT!!!ALL YOU DEATH DEALING WARMONGERING GUN NUTS!!!

  21. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …it is fueled from the gas generated from eating limo beans.

  22. Anonymiss says:

    @70 WINGNUT LOOSERS?

    Are we flinging them mindlessly again?

    Guys, I TOLD you guys to stick with otherwise useless projectiles like WALNUTS!!!!

    Wingnuts can be used, like, to tighten things and stuff.

    Geez.

  23. Burt says:

    @72 YAYS!!

  24. c64wood says:

    … it goes from 69 to 48 in 63 months

    … it has a few extra pair of mom jeans in the trunk

    …it has non-tinted glass, so when he says, “Let me be clear” we know he means it.

    …it’s powered by solar panels and a wind turbine. On cloudy days with no breeze, the main stream media push it to keep it going. Now that I think about it, on sunny days with a nice stiff breeze, the mainstream media push it to keep it going.

    …Obamacare waivers for those who built it.

    …it’s a secret

  25. raml says:

    It’s a ragtop

  26. Gumbeaux says:

    Its most notable feature from an irony standpoint is that the idiot who will be riding in the back seat is admittedly incapable of comprehending a vehicle insurance policy. Or much of anything else, for that matter.

  27. tanstaafl44 says:

    its previous owner was the Joker

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