Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Moment at the 2014 Oscars…

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The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars

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  1. The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars…

    …that people still believe that all these awards shows are still relevant.

    …when it was announced, “If you like your Oscar, you can keep your Oscar.” Everyone laughed until the Oscars were actually confiscated.

    …is when Toni Tennille sang “Do That To Me One More Time” to her new girlfriend while The Captain backed her on keyboards.

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  2. …was when McConaughey went off script and didn’t plug the new movie “Eleven Years A Christian, Twelve Years A Jew: My Escape From Religion”, starring everybody who counts in Hollywood.

    …Marlon Brando finally showed up for his when the rumor started that cookies would replace the Oscar.

    …nobody was allowed to take their seat until it was proved that their seat was not in fact Barack Hussein Obama.

    …the special Oscar given to Michelle Obama for the remake of The Longest Yard which most thought was a documentary about her butt.

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  3. …when it was announced the Academy would be dissolved and the selection process would be handled by the NSA, FBI, CIA in the future. These organizations are better equipped to reflect the opinions of the American People.

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  4. …was the special Oscar for Mandingo, which they said was proof of George Bush waging a war for boil.

    …was the opening shout out to the troops, to make sure any military personnel present were forced to leave.

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  5. … was how, for one night of the year, so many liberals shut up about income inequality.
    With so many of them in one place. And all those microphones present.
    Truly weird.
    It kind of defies the odds, if it’s a subject near and dear to their hearts.

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  6. …was the nodding of heads when Ellen praised the industry for producing an all time low of 12 minutes of not crap.

    …was right at the end all the women ended 11 months and 28 days of anorexia to look good for the Oscar ceremony then rushed to the bathroom to practice 1 night of bulimia.

    …was when Oppo ran up on stage to throw an award in the trashcan and say hey look, it’s Oscar The Grouch!!!

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