Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Moment at the 2014 Oscars…

Posted on March 3, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars

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29 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Moment at the 2014 Oscars…”

  1. walruskkkch says:

    The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars…

    Oh, has Hollywood finally finished it’s self-fellation for the year?

  2. walruskkkch says:

    The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars…

    Obama didn’t sweep all categories.

  3. walruskkkch says:

    The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars…

    When Putin invaded Modesto and no one cared.

  4. c64wood says:

    The weirdest moment at the 2014 Oscars…

    …that people still believe that all these awards shows are still relevant.

    …when it was announced, “If you like your Oscar, you can keep your Oscar.” Everyone laughed until the Oscars were actually confiscated.

    …is when Toni Tennille sang “Do That To Me One More Time” to her new girlfriend while The Captain backed her on keyboards.

  5. Jimmy says:

    What are “Oscars?” Are they competition for Nascars or something?

  6. CLIFF says:

    …was when Ellen Degeneres offered Bacon Pizza to the ‘Joker’ but it was really Kim Novak.

  7. blarg says:

    @Jimmy I would think so.

    anyway, on to the punchlines –

    …interviewing Danica Patrick after yet another crash without pointing out the fact that she’s just not very good.

  8. FormerHostage says:

    …was when it was announced that they had found someone outside of Hollywood that actually gave a cr@p about the Oscars.

  9. FormerHostage says:

    …was the awarding of Best Supporting Cast to the MSM.

  10. Eric Praline says:

    …when they announced the making of the sequel to “12 Years a Slave,” “12 Years of Job-Lock.”

  11. Dohtimes says:

    …was when McConaughey went off script and didn’t plug the new movie “Eleven Years A Christian, Twelve Years A Jew: My Escape From Religion”, starring everybody who counts in Hollywood.

    …Marlon Brando finally showed up for his when the rumor started that cookies would replace the Oscar.

    …nobody was allowed to take their seat until it was proved that their seat was not in fact Barack Hussein Obama.

    …the special Oscar given to Michelle Obama for the remake of The Longest Yard which most thought was a documentary about her butt.

  12. Hordog says:

    …the time from when it started until it ended

    …when the Winifred Sanderson sang “Wind Beneath My Wings”

  13. Burt says:

    …was when Vladimir Putin photo-bombed Ellen’s selfie.

  14. Burt says:

    …when it was announced the Academy would be dissolved and the selection process would be handled by the NSA, FBI, CIA in the future. These organizations are better equipped to reflect the opinions of the American People.

  15. Oppo says:

    … was the Obama / Miley Cyrus duet as “FUBAR McGee and Miley.”

  16. jw says:

    …when the after awards dinner announced that the menu would feature Chicken Kiev, obama left in a huff, threatening to audit the caterer.

  17. gsmtiger says:

    …was when Obama unilaterally awarded himself every award, in every category, then claimed he didn’t know the Academy even existed.

  18. Burt says:

    @15 WOW, I hadn’t thought about that show in years.

  19. Bob B says:

    …was when a clip from “12 Years a Slave” was played, featuring a cameo by Obama, saying “If you like your slave, you can keep your slave”…

  20. Dohtimes says:

    …was the special Oscar for Mandingo, which they said was proof of George Bush waging a war for boil.

    …was the opening shout out to the troops, to make sure any military personnel present were forced to leave.

  21. Writer says:

    … were Ellen Degenerate telling all of those “Straight” jokes.

  22. Bob B says:

    …was when it turned out that “12 Years a Slave” is a first draft of Hillary’s campaign slogan.

  23. Oppo says:

    … was how, for one night of the year, so many liberals shut up about income inequality.
    With so many of them in one place. And all those microphones present.
    Truly weird.
    It kind of defies the odds, if it’s a subject near and dear to their hearts.

  24. Oppo says:

    … was when Cookie Monster got nom nom nominated.

    (I hope someone didn’t use that last year.)

  25. blarg says:

    …when all the Hollywood-types started demanding that global-warming deniers stop going to see their movies.

  26. Dohtimes says:

    …was the nodding of heads when Ellen praised the industry for producing an all time low of 12 minutes of not crap.

    …was right at the end all the women ended 11 months and 28 days of anorexia to look good for the Oscar ceremony then rushed to the bathroom to practice 1 night of bulimia.

    …was when Oppo ran up on stage to throw an award in the trashcan and say hey look, it’s Oscar The Grouch!!!

  27. Oppo says:

    … was when some unknown film in some obscure category won an Academeh award.

  28. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …when the winners found out how much Obama was going to tax the gold in their statues.

  29. FormerHostage says:

    …was that Obama wasn’t in Ellen’s selfie.

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