Random Thoughts: Commies, Fewer, and Elizabeth Warren

Posted on April 24, 2014 9:00 am

Each year, fewer and fewer people get to experience the American Dream (strangling a Commie).

How can you expect us who grew up seeing “10 Items or Less” lanes to always remember the fewer/less distinction?

Let’s see if I can do this right: I have less esteem for people who freak out about mixing up the less/fewer distinction.

I’ll probably be in the top 1% one day; I just seem like that sort of guy. I’ll tell you what it’s like.

A platypus would be the ultimate proof of evolution if there was supposed to be a missing link between a duck and a badger.

Let’s all stop arguing which side are the real fascists and just do what I say before I put you all in prison.

You know who eliminated inequality? The Borg. It started with a minimum wage increase and eventually free will was eradicated.

Instead of wearing lab coats, why don’t scientists just turn up the lab’s thermostat?

When I was kid, I used to like to burn ants with a magnifying glass because they’re Communists.

If it we’re for the 2nd Amendment, we’d have only had 9 amendments. Which would be a weird number.

My dream is to be a very rich advocate against economic inequality.

I’d be for changing the 1st Amendment if we can clarify that whining is not speech and will get you deported.

Elizabeth Warren doesn’t want to end economic inequality. She’d stab you in the eye with a fork if you tried to make her live on your salary.

How are people not seeing that Elizabeth Warren is an obvious big phony? She’s John Edwards 2.0.

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14 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Commies, Fewer, and Elizabeth Warren”

  1. Burt says:

    FrankJ, you are already in the top 1%. Of the humans existing today, I can come up with less than one percent of their names when shown a picture of them…

  2. Burt says:

    If the Borg were so advanced, why couldn’t they work out shift work? They did all like to take a nap at the same time. Was it the swing shifts and the vacation time that fouled them up?

  3. Burt says:

    You shouldn’t compare Elizabeth Warren to John Edwards. He had prettier hair and was capable of getting the ‘out of town strange’.

  4. Oppo says:

    “Instead of wearing lab coats, why don’t scientists just turn up the lab’s thermostat?”

    — This is now in my top 1% all-time favorite FrankJ Random Thoughts.

  5. Frank J. says:

    I really liked that one too, but my favorite ones are never the most popular. I guess I don’t know a thing about humor.

  6. Jimmy says:

    You had to be fast with the lens to burn those Communist aunts. When you did get one, you’d see a puff of smoke and watch the puny thing die horribly.

  7. Les says:

    Why don’t they turn up the thermostat? Because they’re Climate Scientists™, of course. “I’ll teach those frikkin’ ants to believe in global warming!”

  8. DamnCat says:

    @6 Jimmy – how many of your aunts were commies?

  9. Steve H says:

    I always thought lab coats were needed so scientists wouldn’t get burning ant guts on their Green Lantern t-shirts.

  10. Jimmy says:

    @8 DamnCat: Just one, and she’s dead now.

  11. FredKey says:

    Yo, say what you want about the Borg, but it was a union shop, man. Once you got your Borg union card you were IN.

  12. Jimmy says:

    If Elizabeth Warren is “John Edwards 2.0” then we’re due for new column called “Elizabeth Warren Fabulous Facts!”

  13. Dohtimes says:

    Putin is still safe from commie killin’ now that they put that choking hazard warning on hubris.

  14. AT says:

    Elizabeth Warren doesn’t use forks. She uses tomahawks.

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