Straight Line of the Day: China Plans to Cover the World With Surveillance Satellites. Obama…

Posted on April 2, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

China plans to cover the world with surveillance satellites. Obama…

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38 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: China Plans to Cover the World With Surveillance Satellites. Obama…”

  1. Bob B says:

    …plans to ask them for overhead video of his golf swing – you see, he has a slight hitch…

  2. Bob B says:

    …is jealous, because he can’t cover his own country with health insurance…

  3. walruskkkch says:

    China plans to cover the world with surveillance satellites. Obama…

    plans to welcome our new Chinese overlords.

  4. Steve H says:

    … will try to use them to more effectively cover his hind quarters.

  5. James says:

    . . . ask for a direct feed so the EPA, NSA, and food police can monitor US citizens.

  6. Bob B says:

    …intends to outsource all his “selfies” to them.

  7. can of spam says:

    … asked if they’ll be hungry for more information two hours later.

  8. can of spam says:

    … offered them a direct feed from the NSA for one-tenth the price.

  9. Joel says:

    Asked if there is any technology they need in order to accomplish their goal. (That they haven’t already stolen, that is.)

  10. jw says:

    obama plans to cover his dog with gravy

  11. FredKey says:

    Looked out the window, waved.

  12. Jimmy says:

    @10: :-) And not just ANY gravy. Thick and rich and creamy… gravy.

  13. Gumbeaux says:

    … sent them a harshly worded letter, then asked for another unpatriotic trillion dollars for the Mooch’s vacation budget.

  14. Writer says:

    … has ordered the World’s Largest Umbrella to cover his movements.

  15. Jimmy says:

    …said “Oh, crap! This makes us flyover country.”

  16. Jimmy says:

    …looked at Jay Carney and said, “Ah, do WE have ah uh um era th th th th those things?”

  17. Bob B says:

    …encouraged Sherwin Williams to sue for copyright infringement.

  18. blarg says:

    …sent Kerry over there with a whole sack of potatoes.

    …said the Chinese were being disrspectful

  19. Bob B says:

    …asked them to search for his foreign policy – he can’t find it anywhere.

  20. Steve H says:

    COOKIES !!!

  21. walruskkkch says:


  22. Burt says:

    …Smiles more when he looks up.

  23. c64wood says:


    …offered the Chinese a bag of oranges. (It didn’t work for the Japanese in Seinfeld either)

    …blamed Bush

    …covered hundreds with health insurance

  24. Burt says:

    …Called up Peter Funt and asked for Allen’s cell number.

  25. Greg says:

    acted perplexed, he thought the last Chinese spacecraft delivered Sandra Bullock to Arizona at the end of the movie…

  26. Mad Dawg says:

    @Burt…does it show my age that I get your joke? Lol

  27. Jimmy says:

    …promised to counter with stratospheric blimps with attached solar panels and wind mills for more green jobs. Several obese Hollywood actresses took it personally.

  28. morigu says:

    hopes it make the Chinese food delivery guy get to his house faster…….

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …plans to cover the US with obese poor kids.

    …suggested they use fewer by putting some into orbit with cameras on them.

    …started playing golf at night.

    …declared that their taking over of the US was a sign of weakness.

    …laughed and said he was already covered by Putin’s thumb.

  30. Oppo says:

    … asked them to let him know if they find anywhere Michelle and her mom haven’t gone at taxpayer expense.

  31. Oppo says:

    …. asked Stephen Colbert to craft the State Department’s protest statement. Big mistake.

  32. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …asked, “Aren’t our satellites already made of mostly Chinese parts?”

  33. Oppo says:

    … looked at a world covered by NSA satellites and asked “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

  34. Dohtimes says:

    …may soon, or eventually, be hailed as the first black president to find his ass without using both hands, a feat he has failed to accomplish so far. His wife, however… Well, China can see her ass from China already.

  35. Oppo says:

    … told Biden, who said, “See? I *told* you it was spelled P-e-E-k-i-n-g!”

  36. CLIFF says:

    …has already taken a ‘selfie’ with Reggie Love.

  37. CCO says:

    …wants to cover the world with hugs.

  38. gsmtiger says:

    …plans to call China to get him some of those!

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