Straight Line of the Day: Students Were Surprised to Discover that Michelle Obama’s “Healthy” Lunch Menu Included…

Posted on April 8, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…

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79 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Students Were Surprised to Discover that Michelle Obama’s “Healthy” Lunch Menu Included…”

  1. Bob B says:

    @10 – Nooooooooo! The humanity- all those starving children!

  2. Oppo says:

    … Vanilla Waivers.

    … bugged juice.

    … a Pop Tart bitten into the shape of something that got to close to Michelle.

    … a copy of her degree in nutrition.

  3. Oppo says:

    … a CAIR package.

  4. Oppo says:

    … no Koch. Pepsi.

  5. Max says:

    Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…”No soup for them!”

  6. Oppo says:

    … a selfie of Michelle at their houses — leaving crumbs too small for their mouses.

    … a Share-Your-Fortune cookie, pre-split into crumbs to pass around.

    … a subpoena, butter, and jelly sandwich (for those kids who haven’t joined OFA yet).

  7. Oppo says:

    … Upper Deck trading cards of Generation Y slackers whose doctor visits they’re going to be paying for all their lives.

  8. Oppo says:

    … Arbeit Macht(tm) fries.

  9. Oppo says:

    … Pablum.

  10. Jimmy says:

    …a large cucumber, a condom and an instruction sheet – for kindergardeners and first graders.

  11. Jimmy says:

    …Kochroaches in the chili. (I blame Oppo.)

  12. Oppo says:

    … Che’s doodles.

  13. Oppo says:

    @ Jimmy: SADLY, your cucumber one is too true.
    (and of course your blame)

  14. Jimmy says:

    …green Jello with sliced carrots and raisins, with an odd whiff of ethylene glycol. (Your stomach is turning, Oppo.)

  15. Burt says:

    …service by Nurse Ratched.

  16. Dohtimes says:

    …a thin slice of reality, buttered with blame and tasting of pablum.

    …hard tack and toe jam sammiches.

    …politburo potluck, seasoned with potash and salt-free saltpeter.

  17. HokieGomer says:

    …a waiver.

    …a waiver of liability (for the school).

  18. Dohtimes says:

    …plop tarts, at least until the teachers get arrested.

    …high fiber fiber optics so Michelle can keep tabs on away from school diets.

  19. Oppo says:

    … no actual food, just an I.O.U. for a lunch when they retire . . . part of the food pyramid scheme.

  20. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …fresh, live gagh.

  21. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Barack’s favorite hot dog recipe. -You know, actual dog.

  22. Oppo says:

    … legalized pot and illegalized calling the kettle black.

  23. Oppo says:

    … a kid’s meal.

    (It is not yet known which middle-class kid’s…)

    … and now for the bad news: you know how corn meal is made out of corn, and oatmeal is made out of oats? . . . .

  24. Oppo says:

    … ObamaCarrots (a.k.a. Affordable Care Ots).

  25. CLIFF says:

    …Mao Fried Chicken

  26. 4of7 says:

    … a valuable life lesson: “Life is like a $#!t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less $#!t you have to eat!”

  27. tanstaafl44 says:

    a voter registration card, with “democrat” already filled in

  28. Comrade Chairman Obama says:

    Students Were Surprised to Discover that Michelle Obama’s “Healthy” Lunch Menu Included…

    – Delicious irony
    – Soy Chicken and bitter clinger dumplings
    – Sweet nourishing gruel
    – Savory chunks of meat that your dog will love!
    – Ritalin Rice and Prozac Pizza, followed by a wee serving of Ambien Apple Pie
    – Michelle’s Mystery Meatloaf (contains no meat)
    – Barry-O’s Solyndra Suprise (There’s nothing in it – surprise!)
    – Holder’s Half-moonbat Cookies
    – Valerie’s Vanilla Cake with Valium Frosting

  29. TheHat says:

    Moochs meals are complicated.

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