Straight Line of the Day: Students Were Surprised to Discover that Michelle Obama’s “Healthy” Lunch Menu Included…

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Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…

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  1. Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…

    Potato and Eggplant Salad
    White House Arugula
    With Onion Seed Vinaigrette
    2008 Sauvignon Blanc, Modus Operandi, Napa Valley, California

    Red Lentil Soup with Fresh Cheese
    2006 Riesling, Brooks “Ara”, Wilamette Valley, Oregon

    Roasted Potato Dumplings
    With Tomato Chutney
    Chick Peas and Okra
    or
    Green Curry Prawns
    Caramelized Salsify
    With Smoked Collard Greens
    and
    Coconut Aged Basmati
    2007 Granache, Beckmen Vineyards, Santa Ynez, California

    Pumpkin Pie Tart
    Pear Tatin Whipped Cream and Caramel Sauce
    Sparkling Chardonnay, Thibaut Janisson Brut, Monticello, Virginia

    Petits Fours and Coffee
    Cashew Brittle
    Pecan Pralines
    Passion Fruit and Vanilla Gelees
    Chocolate

    Dipped Fruit

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  2. Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…

    …not much and zero choices

    …Lunch Gestapo that confiscated any outside lunches.

    …lunch waivers for children of union members and democrat congressmen

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  3. … a selfie of Michelle at their houses — leaving crumbs too small for their mouses.

    … a Share-Your-Fortune cookie, pre-split into crumbs to pass around.

    … a subpoena, butter, and jelly sandwich (for those kids who haven’t joined OFA yet).

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  4. …a thin slice of reality, buttered with blame and tasting of pablum.

    …hard tack and toe jam sammiches.

    …politburo potluck, seasoned with potash and salt-free saltpeter.

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  5. … a kid’s meal.

    (It is not yet known which middle-class kid’s…)

    … and now for the bad news: you know how corn meal is made out of corn, and oatmeal is made out of oats? . . . .

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  6. Students Were Surprised to Discover that Michelle Obama’s “Healthy” Lunch Menu Included…

    – Delicious irony
    – Soy Chicken and bitter clinger dumplings
    – Sweet nourishing gruel
    – Savory chunks of meat that your dog will love!
    – Ritalin Rice and Prozac Pizza, followed by a wee serving of Ambien Apple Pie
    – Michelle’s Mystery Meatloaf (contains no meat)
    – Barry-O’s Solyndra Suprise (There’s nothing in it – surprise!)
    – Holder’s Half-moonbat Cookies
    – Valerie’s Vanilla Cake with Valium Frosting

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