Straight Line of the Day: The Latest Wearable Device From Google…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The latest wearable device from Google…

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36 Comments

  1. The latest wearable device from Google…

    … will be laughed at mercilessly by our children and grandchildren in just a few years.

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  2. …a marvelous necktie custom printed with your Social Security Number and your Mother’s maiden name.

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  3. …a miniature auditory device to be worn in the ear that will translate and amplify ‘dog whistles’.

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  4. . . . is a sign to hang around your neck that says “I’m hip and cool”, which is the message that people who buy products from Google (or Apple) want to convey by buying the products.

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  5. …comes with a sample size of talcum powder.

    …will require you to break the s0domy laws in 28 states.

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  6. The latest wearable device from Google…

    …sandals that look really cool with socks

    …ball and chain

    …rose colored google glasses

    …will be a ring that changes colors depending on your mood

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  7. …will turn faces into giant emoticons, so that you can FINALLY detect sarcasm, irony and all those other subtle emotional/intellectual subtexts.

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  8. … will be worn ironically by Third-Worlders with no access to either internet or electricity.

    … will soon be found in a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom.

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  9. …the Google condom. Because isn’t pRon the only thing the internet is really good for anyway?

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  10. …the Google Gun, defend your position with bullet points.

    …pocket protectors, even after your beating all hot chicks dig a nerd with a crisp, clean pocket.

    …the Beanie Club, no more toilet swirlies for you, tiger.

    …replaces your plaid onesie with My Little Pony themed twosies.

    …replaces your old tin foil hat with lightweight aluminum, sucker.

    …makes the purchase of your next wearable device for you.

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