Straight Line of the Day: The Latest Wearable Device From Google…

Posted on April 17, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The latest wearable device from Google…

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36 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The Latest Wearable Device From Google…”

  1. Steve H says:

    The latest wearable device from Google…

    … will be laughed at mercilessly by our children and grandchildren in just a few years.

  2. walruskkkch says:

    The latest wearable device from Google…

    slave collars.

  3. walruskkkch says:

    The latest wearable device from Google…

    is something I won’t be wearing.

  4. Burt says:

    …a marvelous necktie custom printed with your Social Security Number and your Mother’s maiden name.

  5. Jimmy says:

    …is a Bing detector.

    *Bing!*

  6. CLIFF says:

    ….is Google Goggles to watch streaming videos while snorkeling.

  7. Oppo says:

    … will be made up of multiple text strings.

    … will promote discussions with nice threads.

  8. Burt says:

    …a miniature auditory device to be worn in the ear that will translate and amplify ‘dog whistles’.

  9. Burt says:

    #8 the marketing campaign will be based entirely on the phrase: “Stick it in your ear”.

  10. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . is a sign to hang around your neck that says “I’m hip and cool”, which is the message that people who buy products from Google (or Apple) want to convey by buying the products.

  11. Oppo says:

    … is their GPS-de-resistance.

  12. Bob B says:

    …is just as annoying and intrusive as the last one.

  13. Bob B says:

    …will immediately load leftist counterfactuals to negate any truth you accidently stumble upon.

  14. Jimmy says:

    …will cause violent attacks, just like Google Glass.

  15. Oppo says:

    … will allow you to reboot constantly.

  16. Oppo says:

    … will be a serge engine.

    … will allow you to tweed your friends.

  17. Jimmy says:

    …will interface to your brain via Bluetooth, because everything is better with Bluetooth.

  18. FormerHostage says:

    …comes with a sample size of talcum powder.

    …will require you to break the s0domy laws in 28 states.

  19. Oppo says:

    … is plaid, has built-in feet, and goes great with a cup of cocoa.

  20. Oppo says:

    … gets scrubbed clean of any Democratic dirt, once a week.

  21. Burt says:

    …will automatically dial 911 if you are attacked in San Francisco.

  22. Oppo says:

    … is a diaper; which, when you think of it, makes it no different from the original Google.

  23. c64wood says:

    The latest wearable device from Google…

    …sandals that look really cool with socks

    …ball and chain

    …rose colored google glasses

    …will be a ring that changes colors depending on your mood

  24. Doug says:

    Will cause any competitor’s product to mysteriously crash.

  25. Oppo says:

    … will enable Yakov Smirnoff to quip, “In surveillance state, skirt looks up you.”

  26. Bob B says:

    …will turn faces into giant emoticons, so that you can FINALLY detect sarcasm, irony and all those other subtle emotional/intellectual subtexts.

  27. Oppo says:

    … might as well be called “Dear Leaderhosen.”

    … will ensure that Victoria has no secrets.

  28. Oppo says:

    … has a Pierre CarDIN connection to MiLAN.

  29. Oppo says:

    … was designed by Sebelius, and is down.

    … is their latest way to fleece the public.

  30. Oppo says:

    … features a secure PINstripe.

  31. Oppo says:

    … will be worn ironically by Third-Worlders with no access to either internet or electricity.

    … will soon be found in a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom.

  32. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …the Google condom. Because isn’t pRon the only thing the internet is really good for anyway?

  33. Gusto Smooth says:

    …is a bar code.

  34. Dohtimes says:

    …the Google Gun, defend your position with bullet points.

    …pocket protectors, even after your beating all hot chicks dig a nerd with a crisp, clean pocket.

    …the Beanie Club, no more toilet swirlies for you, tiger.

    …replaces your plaid onesie with My Little Pony themed twosies.

    …replaces your old tin foil hat with lightweight aluminum, sucker.

    …makes the purchase of your next wearable device for you.

  35. Writer says:

    … is an optional device used when accessing 3-D porn.

  36. Coach Kaz says:

    Google Jock

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