Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid.
— lady hunk 3000 (@Jennuflect) January 8, 2014
"Shall we move this to the bedroom?" – Me, to snacks.
— Spanky McDutcherson (@thatdutchperson) April 18, 2014
A barista called me "brother from another mother" because we are both named Josh. That is not remotely how brothers work. It's the opposite.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 19, 2014
my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.
— anti joke apple (@antijokeapple) April 19, 2014
"Uh- when I was saying Jesus I meant the Devil, and vice-versa" is a TERRIBLE way to end a sermon
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) April 20, 2014