Random Thoughts: 24 Returns!

Posted on May 6, 2014 9:00 am

The left are always looking how to prove they’re the smart reasonable ones without arguing the merits of their ideas.

This is a similar impulse to times I’ve seen the left assert only they can be funny. It’s a deep-seated insecurity. And for good reason.

But what do I know? I’m some psychopath who thinks math should have something to do with the federal budget.

Carney assuring reporters that no one who died in Benghazi was anyone the president cared about.

Carney: “There is nothing the WH did wrong about Benghazi. Our constant lies and deceptions about it are just for funsies.”

I’m pretty sure sombreros are racist.

I don’t like the the hashtag for the new 24 miniseries — #24LAD. Sounds like the name of Jack Bauer’s sidekick.

Hate explaining to my daughter we went to the moon before I was born and the US can’t even get people in space right now.

She’s usually too busy playing on her iPad to hear me, though.

When we have a Republican president, holding a lying administration accountable will be cool again! I can’t wait!

I hope the cliffhanger at the end of the first episode of 24 is Jack Bauer fighting a cougar atop Big Ben.

Caution, Jack Bauer; remember that Obama, the US’s third black president, is okay with taking out American citizens with drones.

“I am a robot. Why would someone want to own a home?” *zrrrrt* “Does not compute!”

I know it’s bad form to compare someone you don’t like to Hitler, but I think Obama is a better president than Hitler.

Why would people not have children? You can’t win at evolution if you don’t have children.

I only have two children. I think you need at least three to really complete at evolution — more than replacement.

GOP sure has been good at convincing public that super successful Obamacare is a failure. If only Dems had someone who was good at oration.

Since Keith Olbermann got trapped down a well, has anyone kept track of who the worst person in the world is?

If you told me when I was a kid that streaming services would have great original shows, I’d have yelled, “Stranger danger!” and run away.

I tell my daughter that maybe when she’s an adult, she can be the first person on Mars… as my parents told me :(

It took less than 70 years to get from Kitty Hawk to landing on the moon; really seems like we lost momentum after that.

My daily Dilbert calendar doesn’t say yesterday was Cinco de Mayo; did you all make that holiday up?

If I were Sauron, I would have put some security guards and metal detectors around Mount Doom to check for rings.

I would’ve been a great Sauron.

Ripping apart a tiny child inside you is probably never going to be a happy, normal thing.

Always wondered what the neighbor’s miniature doberman is hoping to accomplish when it runs onto my lawn and barks at me.

I could completely ignore it, and it would spend an hour standing a few feet away and yipping at me.

Actually, makes no difference if I ignore it or kneel down and try to call it to me; it will stand a few feet away and yip constantly.

Oh, small dogs; the world was cruel to you. Mentally, you’re still wolves, but physically you’re less than kittens.

They should keep CTU staffed by only one person so it will be easy to tell who the mole is. #24

So is Yvonne Strahovski being typecast as a CIA agent? #24

If I’m counting right, there has been 9 presidents in #24 (including unnamed president in 1st season). High turnover job.

In my lifetime, I have seen 6 presidents so far.

I completely forgot about Jack’s catchphrase “Damn it!” #24

I remember when I hated Chloe when she was first introduced in season 3, but now it’s hard to imagine #24 without her.

Jack Bauer is the sole defender of the U.S., the country where everyone hates him and wants to capture him. #24

I want to root for the one competent person at the CIA, but she’s also opposed to Jack Bauer, so I’m confused. #24

So Jack Bauer is still fighting terrorists worldwide, and all he costs the US is the money we spend trying to hunt him down. #24

That poor military guy will probably be cleared when a drone assassinates the president while he’s in custody. #24

A great surprise ending would be for the Doctor to show up in his Tardis and give Jack Bauer a 25th hour to fix things. #24

Captions had one of Jack’s famous “Copy that.” but he didn’t say it. #24

Basically, everything Dave Barry made fun of in his column turned up in these first two episodes. #24

So how intimate did he get with his girlfriend if he never realized she was wearing a wig? #24

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7 Responses to “Random Thoughts: 24 Returns!”

  1. Andy says:

    Be fruitful and multiply. Liberals are currently dividing, so it’s only a matter of time until we win.

  2. Andy says:

    Re: wig, I had the same thought, but maybe he liked the wig. She didn’t have to hide her hair color from him, when he thought she was on his side.

  3. Rayfan87 says:

    The best thing to do if you have a small dog yipping at you is to spray it with a garden hose. Or punt it back to the neighbors yard like a football.

  4. Gusto Smooth says:

    re: neighbor’s miniature doberman

    Yeah, my neighbor had one and it would come over to my back patio and bark at me, too. I tried to make friends with it. I would give it Wheat Thins or vanilla wafers. It would eat the treats and then start barking at me again.

  5. CCO says:

    Always wondered what the neighbor’s miniature doberman is hoping to accomplish when it runs onto my lawn and barks at me.

    I could completely ignore it, and it would spend an hour standing a few feet away and yipping at me.

    Actually, makes no difference if I ignore it or kneel down and try to call it to me; it will stand a few feet away and yip constantly.

    That’ll be the US military in a couple of years if things keep going. (Save a grunt–Save the A-10!)

  6. La Longue Carabine says:

    I could completely ignore it, and it would spend an hour standing a few feet away and yipping at me.

    Funny story almost completely unrelated to yours.

    One day I hear my two dogs in non-stop, full-auto, belt-fed barking mode. This is fairly uncommon, so after a minute or so of this racket I mosey over to check it out. They are trying to jump up the 8′ wooden fence, knocking each other over in their frenzy. Atop the fence sits this cat, calmly cleaning it’s paws, with that eyes-half-closed, smug, self-satisfied, look they get after pooping in the most inaccessible corner of your clothes closet.

    I wish I could have figured out how to knock that cat off the fence into my yard. I had to settle for soaking it with a bucket of water. I don’t hate cats, I just don’t care about them any more that they care about me.

  7. zzyzx says:

    I normally compare people I don’t like to Stalin, I never thought of comparing them to Hitler.

    I think Al Gore made Keith’s list for the crime of firing him.

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