I knew Pat Sajak was evil and wanted to destroy the world. Notice how he raises the price on vowels just in time for the annual spelling bee.
I wonder if the Captain Planet villain, evil, polluting game show host Sat Pajak, was modeled after him.
“It is the distant future, the year 4000 BC, and man has learned to shape metal into pointy things for stabbing.” -primitive science fiction
I’m not someone who gives up easily; otherwise, I wouldn’t be at level 488 on Candy Crush.
Racism isn’t over, but it’s declined past the point you can expect white people to do much about it. No march on DC over microagressions.
Talk of “white privilege” will only motivate white people to occasionally read articles on white privilege.
I would have said no to drugs if I was ever cool enough for anyone to offer them to me.
To the right, the Tea Party is about government overspending. To the left, the Tea Party represents every dark corner of their own id.
How are people going to know you’re witty if you don’t inform them in your Twitter bio?
I don’t think there’s good historical evidence there ever really was a Rome.
I still think this country has a bright future ahead of it, but just in case I’m making preparations to be a local warlord.
You build a bomb shelter, I’ll build a thunderdome. We’ll see who does better when society collapses.
“I now can’t help but think of how I miss my childhood sled, Rosebud.”
“You named your sled? What a dork. Glad you’re dying.”
“I intensely hate every member of Congress other than the one I actually get to vote on.” -America
Soccer just seems like one of those things you hear people were entertained by hundreds of years ago but are just baffling now.
Or maybe soccer is like how Pong was fascinating when it came out, but holds no interest to anyone who has seen any other video game.
I’m not trying to be insulting; I’m just saying soccer is a dumb sport babies might play.
With the HBO shows on Amazon Prime, really liking the Flight of the Conchords show.
Anyone heard of The Wire? Is that any good?
If HBO did that Babar cartoon now, would they force it to be full of swearing and elephant nudity?