Random Thoughts: Windows, Left-Handedness, and Hashtags

Posted on May 9, 2014 9:00 am

So when a crashing program brings up “Windows is checking for a solution to the problem” ever actually led to a solution for the problem?

How’s Windows going to solve anything? Will it delete itself? More afraid the solution it will find is, “KILL ALL HUMANS!”

If Windows OSs decided to kill us, could we survive? We’d all have to be Apple devotees or learn Linux. The living will envy the dead.

If I designed an OS, it would be all like, “Start your own program, you lazy bum!”

So, pretty sure now my nearly one year old son is left handed. Don’t know how to deal with that.

Since people are losing jobs for supporting Prop 8, is the NOH8 campaign literally about putting tape on people’s mouths?

If you don’t want people carrying guns in your restaurant, put up a “No Americans Allowed” sign.

By 2050, scientists predict that 95% of political debate will be declaring the debate to be over.

I don’t actually know any foreign languages, but I can pretend to speak a lot of them.

#BulletsNotHashtags

The overwhelming consensus is that if my son is left-handed, I teach him to pitch. Wife wants him to be hockey player, though :(

I don’t know how I’d relate to my son if he’s good at sports. I don’t even like playing sports video games.

If I’m going to play pretend something, it’s going to be pretend shooting aliens, not pretend throwing a ball.

I have lots of folksy wisdom about video games.

We’re going to use the power of goodwill to take on terrorists now? They’re not vampires; bullets work on them.

“They’re taking hostages! Mobilize SWAT and tell them what hashtags to start tweeting.”

Business Idea: Sell “Christians Need Not Apply” signs.

Did anyone check whether the rest of the “Irish Need Not Apply” sign was “…because you’re already hired!”?

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16 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Windows, Left-Handedness, and Hashtags”

  1. pbunyan says:

    “So, pretty sure now my nearly one year old son is left handed. Don’t know how to deal with that.”

    If you’re catholic, I believe an exorcism is called for. If not you might just have to build a special room in your basement where you can keep him hidden from the neighbors.

  2. Burt says:

    I guess you could try to teach the heir apparent to pitch, but I don’t think they make a left handed bat yet. Not sure I’ve ever seen a left handed hockey stick either.

  3. pbunyan says:

    They do make left handed hockey sticks. I use one.

  4. Oppo says:

    You could always bond over jockularity.

  5. Jimmy says:

    Of course it has led to a solution: “What would you like to do?” Cancel.

  6. Jimmy says:

    I’m pretty sure my grandson is right-handed, red-headed, blue-eyed, smarter than Albert Einstein and better looking than Gary Cooper – all because he’s got 1/4 of my genes, and by God, that’s enough.

  7. FredKey says:

    I would like to hear some folksy gaming wisdom. “Well, son, the thing you gotta remember about a Goomba is, like Old Man Schnorbis used to say, ‘Goomba will always try to crash a feller, but they can’t abide bein’ jumped. Always get a jump on yer Goomba.’”

  8. blarg says:

    “So when a crashing program brings up “Windows is checking for a solution to the problem” ever actually led to a solution for the problem?”

    YES! I have, several times been pointed to a software patch or a driver update that has solved the problem. Not often, but on at least one or two occasions. I was genuinely surprised.

  9. Jimmy says:

    Of course, at the moment, he’s concentrating on eating everything in sight… both of them. It’s what smart babies do.

  10. Oppo says:

    And about “Hashtags” —

    Will somebody please tell ad agencies that having people on commercials say the word “hashtag” before a phrase is neither clever, original, funny, nor effective — I invariably begin to hate the company does that in an ad.

  11. dontplayrockytop says:

    The great mid century minstrels Homer & Jethro told a tale of heartbreaking stigma as well. Not sure if left handedness was involved, but the family had a solution.

    in them old cotton fields

  12. dontplayrockytop says:

    Sorry; messed up the link: in them old cotton fields

  13. Not an NSA Spy says:

    I’m surprised liberals don’t like Linux more. They seem to like free stuff. I guess learning to use Linux is just too much work for them.

  14. AT says:

    I can only assume that current apple devotees are in it more for the status than the functionality of a good product.

  15. Jimmy says:

    Frank, if you designed an OS, it would spit-out random Command Lines.

    Water In The Disk Drive >

    Turning On Heaters >

    RAM Is Full, Dumping To Bit Bucket >

  16. dontplayrockytop says:

    #15 excellent. A fairly unambiguous error message from the early Texas Instruments DX10 OS from the 70′s as I recall was “Shut er down, Clancy, she’s a’ pumpin mud.”

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