Straight Line of the Day: Republicans Are Proposing a New Immigration Bill. Democrats Are Objecting to It Because…

Posted on May 13, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because…

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36 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Republicans Are Proposing a New Immigration Bill. Democrats Are Objecting to It Because…”

  1. Steve H says:

    … none of them are financially making out like bandits as a result.
    … Republicans are proposing it – what more need be said?

  2. Steve H says:

    … because Republicans are the Party Of No. (No, wait…)

  3. Bob B says:

    …it is demeaning and insulting to immigrants.

    …it is loaded with micro-aggressions and “trigger” language.

    …it threatens to take away a major campaign issue.

  4. c64wood says:

    …it makes the Democrats look like Conservatives

  5. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . it doesn’t pay immigrants to come here

    . . . it will actually be published and read before it is passed

  6. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    …..it includes white people.

  7. can of spam says:

    … it doesn’t go far enough in getting the GOP to alienate their own base.

  8. walruskkkch says:

    Republicans Are Proposing a New Immigration Bill. Democrats Are Objecting to It Because…

    it isn’t a complete surrender of US sovereignty.

    it doesn’t create enough Democratic voters.

    What, no free healthcare for everyone?

  9. can of spam says:

    … at this point, opposition is just reflexive.

  10. can of spam says:

    … they’re playing reverse-psychology with the “if the Democrats are against it, I’m for it!” crowd.

    (This is probably actually true, rather than being a punchline.)

  11. can of spam says:

    … Reid won’t let it come to the floor unless it includes a clause blaming the Koch Brothers for something.

  12. jw says:

    …that’s what democrats do.

  13. can of spam says:

    … they’re holding out for cookies.

  14. walruskkkch says:

    Republicans Are Proposing a New Immigration Bill. Democrats Are Objecting to It Because…

    …shakes Magic 8 Ball…

  15. CrabbyOldBat says:

    . . . it doesn’t define American citizenship as a fundamental human right, with enforcement powers given to the UN.

  16. gsmtiger says:

    …because reasons. Shut up. We don’t have to explain ourselves to you rabble!

  17. FredKey says:

    …it doesn’t come with automatic registration in the Democrat party.

  18. can of spam says:

    … they were still recovering from their Cinco de Mayo cultural approbations and couldn’t stagger to the floor to vote.

  19. can of spam says:

    … there was no version of the bill text in Spanish.

  20. Bob B says:

    …it doesn’t create Alta California quickly enough.

  21. Chip says:

    Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because… Boooooossssshhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

  22. Chip says:

    Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because…because the debate is settled and Democrats are the smirtist people around. A recent survey said so.

  23. blarg says:

    …their counter-proposal is to make everyone on the planet a U.S. citizen and immediately extend to them every hand-out program.

    …the bill doesn’t explicitly eliminate the Republican Party from every election after it passes, it only does so in a practical sense.

  24. Burt says:

    …only Barack should be allowed to draw a red line in the sand!

  25. Burt says:

    …it does not redraw the borders of Ukraine.

  26. Burt says:

    …it does not grant complete control of Tel Aviv to Suha Arafat.

  27. Writer says:

    … the Republicans are still requiring they pass the Citizenship Test in English.

  28. Dohtimes says:

    …it’s sponsored by “Speedy Gonzales” and “That dog down at the Taco Bell”.

    …they all thought Mexico was a state already.

    …Sean Penn is still filming The Wild Bunch vs The Magnificent Seven and needs us to hate poor Mexicans until it goes to DVD.

    …the Spanish translation eliminated all the gendered words, at the Democrats insistence, so it reads like typical Democrat gibberish.

  29. Bob B says:

    …,at this point, what difference does it make?

  30. Bob B says:

    …they don’t have to pass it to see what’s in it.

  31. DamnCat says:

    …they’ll have to pay their nannys minimum wage.

  32. rodney dill says:

    They haven’t figured out how to blame Bush for it.

  33. rodney dill says:

    …it involves building a giant wooden badger.

  34. Jimmy says:

    …Republicans are “Islamo-homophobic-racist war-on-women stuck into binders by Rush Limbaugh on Fox News.” (Thanks, Andrew Klavan.)

  35. tanstaafl44 says:

    it requires an iq test and a score greater than 44 for admittance

  36. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …the phrase “If you like living in the US, you can keep living in the US” sounds eerily familiar.

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