Straight Line of the Day: Russia Plans to Have a Moon Base by 2030, Which Will Feature…

Posted on May 12, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Russia plans to have a moon base by 2030, which will feature…

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34 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Russia Plans to Have a Moon Base by 2030, Which Will Feature…”

  1. c64wood says:

    Russia plans to have a moon base by 2030, which will feature…

    …roulette tables. 5 out of 6 people win.


    …Ukrainian refugees

  2. Bob B says:

    …an anti-IMAO nuke shield.

  3. Bob B says:

    …the first gay Russian cosmonaut.

  4. FormerHostage says:

    An Illudium P-38 space modulator.

  5. jw says:

    …a big shout out to barack and michelle obama for all the help.

  6. Jimmy says:

    …moon pies, since Russia ‘invented’ them.

  7. Burt says:

    …a fast-food establishment selling Chicken Kiev.

  8. Burt says:

    …permanent residents known as ‘lunatics’.

  9. walruskkkch says:

    Russia plans to have a moon base by 2030, which will feature…

    absolutely no offensive weapons of any kind. Putin pinky swears!

  10. Greg says:

    Extensive tours of ‘their’ Sea of Tranquility locations (since the U.S. isn’t using them)

  11. blarg says:

    …futuristic space-communism!

    …a guy with a Russian-German accent and a low voice that sounds like Henry Kissinger to do all countdowns and announcements.

    …plans copied directly from Moonraker.

  12. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    A statue of the man who finally brought down America, Comrade Obama.

  13. Burt says:

    …a panel of retired Olympic judges to score the cow jumpings.

  14. Burt says:

    …a robust green cheese export industry.

  15. Dohtimes says:

    …civilians who will not leave, no matter what, held there by Stalingravity.

    …claims that the base can’t be seen because it was built on the dark side.

    …dachas for the powerful cosmonauts, located on the shore of the Sea of Tranquility.

  16. DamnCat says:

    …the first extra-terrestrial environmental disaster.

  17. DamnCat says:

    …beautiful women who are harsh mistresses.

  18. c64wood says:

    …a real live version of the video game “Moon Patrol”.

  19. Eric Praline says:

    …an amazingly futuristic piece of technology known as “the working toilet,” something the common proles can only dream of.
    PS: In Soviet Russia moon nukes you.

  20. Dohtimes says:

    …Tom Cullen saying “M. O. O. N., that spells moon base”, thus increasing a thousand fold the useful information that space exploration has given us since NASA went M. O. O. N., that spells Muslim.

  21. Jimmy says:

    @19 Eric: that “amazingly futuristic piece of technology…”

    Processing human waste requires H20, O2 plus heat if you want to sterilize it for fertilizer in your Lunar greenhouse. So, in order to eat, you must crap first. This will lead to a new communist manifesto: “(1) From each, according to his crap; (2) to each, refer to #1.”

  22. Oppo says:

    … for Edward Snowden, The Arrest Warrant At The End Of The Universe.

    But they ll probably just say “So Long And Thanks For All The Phishing.”

    … a Tsar Trek convention.

  23. Oppo says:

    Large “I m Looking At You, Mars” billboards.

  24. jw says:

    …sexual harassment charges against the Man in the Moon.

    oops, sorry. that would be if obama started the settlement.

  25. Oppo says:

    … a referendum of moon inhabitants on the establishment of a Russian base, which will overwhelming vote in the daffirmative.

  26. Oppo says:

    … the dacha side of the moon.

    (Hat tip to Dohtimes!)

  27. walruskkkch says:

    Russia plans to have a moon base by 2030, which will feature…

    a special section to take care of “US” National Parks.

  28. Dohtimes says:

    …one small poo for Laika II, one giant walking the dog for mankind.

    …Sarah Palin claiming she can see Russia from pretty much anywhere, at night.

    …zero eclipses of the moons if the drapes are left open.

  29. Oppo says:

    … typical socialist dogma: individuals sacrificing for the crater good.

  30. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …pictures of a shirtless Putin riding a moon creature across the lunar landscape.

  31. Oppo says:

    A Groznyworld ™ theme park, with a remake of Alien vs. Predator starring Obama and Putin.

  32. Harvey says:

    I’m totally giving bacon to Dohtimes (@20) for the “The Stand” reference.

  33. tanstaafl44 says:

    a non-functioning monolith

  34. c64wood says:

    …the next round of Survivor after they figure out how to keep the tiki torches lit

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