*An Icelandic cop knocks on a door* "Mrs Jónsdóttir? There's no easy way to say this. Your husband fell into the volcano Eyjafjallajökull."
— hrtbps (@hrtbps) August 16, 2013
BREAKING: Local street performer dies in sword swallowing accident. "He thought the sword was gluten free but it wasnt" said one witness.
— Adam le homard (@AdamTheLobster) May 1, 2014
Egg plant. You know, cuz eggs are purple and oblong.
— The Natewolf (@thenatewolf) May 1, 2014