The guy doing my pedicure said my choice of pink polish was too girly. I'm not one for gender roles, but you, sir, work at a nail salon.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) May 13, 2014
I passed all my final exams! I was starting to worry, it's been nearly 2 weeks since I ate them
— Froghammer (@froghammer) May 13, 2014
There's only one solution. Mandatory Alec Baldwin sensitivity training for everyone.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 13, 2014
BANE: U think darkness is your ally? u merely adopted the dark, i was born in it GARGE: Well jerk store called and their runing out of YOU!
— Seinfeld Current Day (@Seinfeld2000) May 13, 2014
I've never had an emotion about a superhero casting decision.
— Emily Toffelmire (@klickitatstreet) May 14, 2014