Random Thoughts: California Split, Hillary, and Self-Defense

Posted on June 10, 2014 9:00 am

I wish I could just dismiss everyone who disagreed with me as evil racists; that would allow me to use much less brain power for politics.

Science confirms: Our faces are very punchable.

Probably best way to get California to split is make coastal cities think it’s their idea. “Only thing holding us back are those right-wingers!”

If the global warming apocalypse happens, then I’ll believe those scientists on the next apocalypse they predict.

Obama had no significant achievements as a Senator. Hillary has no significant achievements as a Senator AND Secretary of State. #Upgrade

I hate the World Cup season when we here in America get inundated with a mention or two of soccer.

“You should learn to defend yourself.”
“No. I’m going to teach everyone in the world not to attack me.”
“Yeah, that sounds easier.”

“Wow! You kicked that ball! Good job!” -me to my one year old or foreign sports team

After Bill’s presidency, the Clintons struggled to get by. The reason Hillary did nothing about Benghazi is because she was busy couponing.

So did the machine ever respond to the rage?

Be wary when your wife gets so old she starts to tell tales, because those tend to be nonsense.

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12 Responses to “Random Thoughts: California Split, Hillary, and Self-Defense”

  1. FredKey says:

    I remember when me and the wife were starting out. Just our two little homes, our Secret Service detail, our pensions, our huge book deals, our worldwide fame, our enormous speaking fees, and our absolute lack of shame. And yet we’ve managed to get ahead little by little.

    (No followups on Bill getting ahead, please.)

    P.S.: If it weren’t for Specially Designed Collectors’ Edition Coke Zero cans I would not know the World Cup was happening. Still don’t know if it’s started, ongoing, or over.

  2. Jimmy says:

    “So did the machine ever respond to the rage?”

    No, because it had bananas in its ears.

  3. Steve H says:

    Probably best way to get California to split is make coastal cities think it’s their idea. “Only thing holding us back are those right-wingers!”

    And the easiest way to do that would be for Conservative Groups to mention splitting and loudly speak out against it.

  4. Steve H says:

    @1 – I remember, many years ago, being fitted for a cup. Can’t see why The World having one would be such a big deal.

  5. DamnCat says:

    @FredKey – I know it was tough on you when the Mrs. had to take a job as a lowly U.S. Senator. She was working sometimes 6 or 7 hours a day – often as many as 4 days a week. Your personal chef never could make sammichs like she could. :(

  6. Oppo says:

    “You should learn to defend yourself.”
    “No. I’m going to teach everyone in the world not to attack me.”
    “Yeah, that sounds easier.”

    – That captures & encapsulates so freakin’ much, so freakin’ well.

  7. calcpa says:

    At least now we know why they found it necessary to steal the White House furniture.

  8. Writer says:

    Let Mexifornia split into two states. Texas’ contract allos it ti split into five states. Just think of it- eight Brand New Republican Senators.

  9. Fred Key says:

    @5 – Cat, all I can say is, thank the good Lord for canned tuna sammiches.

  10. Larry E says:

    “You should learn to defend yourself.”
    “No. I’m going to teach everyone in the world not to attack me.”
    “Yeah, that sounds easier.”

    Touché!

  11. Veeshir says:

    So…. did that face-punch thing prove that hippie evolved to fill a need?

    I mean, if faces are made to be punched, shouldn’t we be punching faces?

    So did the machine ever respond to the rage?

    Why don’t you ask the Limey? He might know.

  12. Zach says:

    The machine put a D after its name, and the rage subsided. Rage is reserved for entities with Rs after their name.

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