Straight Line of the Day: Liberals Are Proposing a New Minimum Requirement for Citizenship…

Posted on June 18, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Liberals are proposing a new minimum requirement for citizenship…

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32 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Liberals Are Proposing a New Minimum Requirement for Citizenship…”

  1. James says:

    An acquired taste for walnut cookies.

  2. Bob B says:

    …fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to the progressive movement…

  3. walruskkkch says:

    Liberals are proposing a new minimum requirement for citizenship…

    breathing, but with qualified exceptions.

  4. Bob B says:

    …no shirt, no shoes, no service to country…

  5. walruskkkch says:

    Liberals are proposing a new minimum requirement for citizenship…

    ability to scrawl a letter “D” on elections ballots.

  6. walruskkkch says:

    Liberals are proposing a new minimum requirement for citizenship…

    that there are no minimum requirements for citizenship.

  7. Jimmy says:

    Extension to @4 Bob B: … no education, no job, no money.

  8. can of spam says:

    … the ability to specify their address (as far as the elections board is concerned, at least) as the local (Democrat) precinct captain’s house. And absentee vote.

  9. c64wood says:

    Liberals are proposing a new minimum requirement for citizenship…

    …you’re in!

  10. walruskkkch says:

    Liberals are proposing a new minimum requirement for citizenship…

    Alien only applies to those not born on this planet.

  11. Bob B says:

    …a pen, a phone, and a willingness to use them…

  12. jw says:

    …that one was born at sometime in world history and will vote democrat or, failing that, will vote democrat.

  13. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . the ability to fog a mirror.

  14. Jimmy says:

    …a deep understanding that Republicans are the root of all evil – and putting peeeple in chains.

  15. FormerHostage says:

    A “D” on their voter registration card.

  16. Doug says:

    Show their EBT Card.

  17. Bob B says:

    …a predisposition to hope, an ability to live on change, a tendency to lean forward and move on. (Carpetbag optional)

  18. CLIFF says:

    ….proof of purchase of a raffle ticket for a free ride in Air Force One with Obozo.

  19. Oppo says:

    … ability to claim one of the following as a residence: “Somewhere, OFA, The Rainbow.”

    @9 c64wood: a pop “you’re in” test?

    … anyone who wasn’t on the Malaysian airliner.

  20. Oppo says:

    … “What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?”

  21. Oppo says:

    … with special preferences for the tired, the poor, huddled masses, and wretched refuse.

  22. HokieGomer says:

    …The ability to vote…Democrat…more than 5 times…

  23. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    …..a pulse.

  24. Lecroix says:

    Requiring the ability to respire, procreate, or metabolize food for fuel (AKA Signs of Life) would be discriminatory. Requiring some sort of self sentience would also be discriminatory. Therefore, the minimum standard for citizenship should be.. The belief on the part of a (any) Democrat that the citizen in question exists at all in some fashion. (See registration of Kermit D. Frog, Mickey Mouse, ect ect.) Only then can you be truly inclusive.

  25. archangel says:

    …being recently released from gitmo.

  26. Burt says:

    Wet foot/Dry foot… all feet fit this path!

  27. c64wood says:

    @19 Oppo says: @9 c64wood: a pop “you’re in” test?

    Nah, the requirement is that they just show up and “they’re in”

  28. c64wood says:

    can you count to $10.10?

  29. Oppo says:

    … they must earn at least $17.00 an hour. Republicans pounced, and said “Oh, heck yes! We’ll support THAT!” Liberals backed off and said, “Wait; we didn’t mean it that way!”

  30. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …a Social Security number. But if you don’t already have one, one will be provided to you free of charge from a TEA Partier who won’t be needing it much longer, thanks to the IRS.

  31. Dohtimes says:

    …push one for Spanish speaking to American citizenship.

    …remaining south of the Canadian border.

  32. Karen says:

    … You must refer to soccer as ‘football’ and always follow the term ‘football’ by pretentiously explaining how you feel the term is more accurate.

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