Straight Line of the Day: The Border Patrol Found a “Cheat Sheet” of Things to Say if You’re Caught Sneaking Across the Border…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The Border Patrol found a “cheat sheet” of things to say if you’re caught sneaking across the border…

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  1. The Border Patrol Found a “Cheat Sheet” of Things to Say if You’re Caught Sneaking Across the Border…”

    … I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
    … My name is Julio Von Trapp.
    … [the five tones from Close Encounter of the Third Kind]

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  2. My hovercraft is full of eels.
    I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
    Do you want to come back to my place — bouncy-bouncy?
    Please fondle my bum.
    My nipples explode with delight!

    NOTE: Given the glaring incompetence of this administration these are not beyond belief.

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  3. …I’m here to pick the crops in Mrs. Obama’s garden.

    …Uncle Harry and Aunt Nancy said I didn’t need any papers because we’re all Americans, amigo.

    …Am I too late for Pride month? I know it’s going to be fab-u-lous.

    …We can’t get BET in Mejico and that is such a shame. I want to see real black people on TV.

    …Justice for Trayvon, gnomesane.

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