Straight Line of the Day: Things Americans Say While Watching World Cup Soccer:

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Things Americans say while watching World Cup soccer:

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  1. He’s kicked the ball.
    Now the ball’s over there.
    That man has it now.
    That’s an interesting development.
    Maybe he’ll kick the ball.
    He has indeed and apparently that deserves a round of applause.

    (Hat tip: The IT Crowd)

  2. …They cancel “Firefly,” but THIS gets air time?

    …The downside to drinking on Father’s Day…losing the remote the next day.

    …Still better than “Community” reruns.

    …So the rest of the world picked the most boring sport to master so the US wouldn’t dominate it? Whatevs, Brazil.

    …”The bigger the head, the bigger the ball” (obscure movie reference, but a great guy film, and the only way to make soccer masculine).

  3. Things Americans say while watching World Cup soccer:

    Alright Copper, I’ll confess.

    Is this the part where Bugs Bunny pops out of a hole in the ground and says, “Welcome to Pismo Beach!”

    “THis is great!” eyeblinks Morse code “Help, I am being held hostage by Europeans!”

    Damn remote’s battery needs replacing.

    I didn’t expect some kind of Spanish Inquisition!

  4. …So… this is the rest of the world’s idea of… football?

    …I’d rather be watching curling.

    …What is President Heller doing out in the middle of the field?

  5. …Why yes Mr. President, if we could get our delinquent yoots to kick a ball instead of unconscious victims, crime would be reduced dramatically.

    …soccer, when you want your government to know that if you’ll riot over this, you’ll riot over anything.

    …soccer, where even the poorest country can put panties on it’s men and beat up the sissies from other, better nations.


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