Straight Line of the Day: Why Did Obama Release the Terrorist?

Posted on June 10, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Why did Obama release the terrorist?

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71 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Why Did Obama Release the Terrorist?”

  1. Jimmy says:

    @49: And you are doing great punitive damage!

  2. Writer says:

    … because he had nothing better to do last weekend.

  3. c64wood says:

    Why Did Obama Release the Terrorist?

    To see if he would make Straight Line of the Day

  4. DamnCat says:

    Chuck Hagel made him do it.

  5. DamnCat says:

    D’OH – walruskkkch beat me to it!

  6. Oppo says:

    … it was just a Ft. Hood-ous situation.

    … Don’t worry; there’s a Mathoud to his madness.

    (@ Jimmy: Yep!)

  7. Oppo says:

    @ Jimmy again: My bad! My eyes read that as — AS OBAMA SAYS — there was a question mark at the end of your sentence.

  8. Oppo says:

    … “Release” is such an ugly word. Can’t we just say “Took a liberal attitude towards”?

  9. Oppo says:

    … because he didn’t get a “Haram!” from that guy.

  10. Oppo says:

    … because they’re not called “ji- HAVE – is.” Duh!

  11. Oppo says:

    … because the poor guy was ill.
    No, wait. Because his life was in danger.
    Um, no; because Hegel approved it, not me.
    Dammit, why don’t you people respect my explanations??!

    … Because everyone deserves freedom.
    See? I told Vlad I’d have more platitudes after the election.

  12. Oppo says:

    … because Obama’s understanding was that, in prison, the terrorist was working out and getting Mosul-bound.

  13. Dohtimes says:

    It was a good trade, four Duck Dynasty guys for one terrorist and sack full of puppies to be eaten later.

  14. Oppo says:

    … because Hillary’s advisor kept saying: “Abedin, Abedin, Abedin — That’s all, folks!”

  15. raml says:

    OK I know about the 5 terrorist and and the one deserter, but I missed “The Terrorist” referred to here. Please enlighten me.

  16. walruskkkch says:

    Because “Undocumented future Democrat voter” was already in use?

  17. Apostic says:

    Why Did Obama Release the Terrorist? Well, it’s complicated….

    OBAMA: People of the Afghanistan! Washington is your fwiend. To pwove our fwiendship, we will welease an accused tewwowist fwom our pwison at Gitmo to be wemanded into westwicted custody in Qataw. Whom would you have me welease?
    TALIBAN SPOKSMAN: Welease Woger!
    OTHER TALIBAN: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
    OBAMA: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
    OTHER TALIBAN: [laughing and cheering]
    HAGEL: Sir, uh, we don’t have a ‘Woger’, sir.
    TALIBAN SPOKSMAN: Well, what about Wodewick, then?
    OTHER TALIBAN: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!

    Eventually…

    OBAMA: This is not vewy funny. I gwant you one last chance…
    TALIBAN SPOKSMAN: Welease Khaiwullah Khaiwkhwa
    OBAMA: Wight. Anothew silly name. That’s it. No….
    HAGEL: Wait, sir. We do hava a Khaiwullah, er, Khairullah Khairkhwa.
    OBAMA: Very well! I shall welease Khaiwullah Khaiwkhwa. Anything to wesolve this. Hewe, take fouw othews. Just weave me awone.
    OTHER TALIBAN: [laughing and cheering]

  18. currently says:

    He didn’t release THE terrorist. He released FIVE terrorists.

  19. James says:

    Apostic has it right. Next we will ask Obama to conjugate “Yankee go home” in Latin.

  20. Writer says:

    He forgot to say,”Simon Sez.”

  21. tanstaafl44 says:

    the voices told him to (soros on the phone)

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