Straight Line of the Day: Why Did Obama Release the Terrorist?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Why did Obama release the terrorist?

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  1. Why did Obama release the terrorist?

    Besides the betrayal the U.S. and our fighting men and women – releasing the terrorists was a ‘good will gesture’… to the… other terrorists.

    Or are you referring to traitor/collaborator, Bowe Bergdahl?

    And if so, then that answer would be: Apparently for $5,000,000.


  2. …the terrorist refused to let him be clear.

    …he told Obama he left his Koran at home and promised he would get it and come right back.

    …the fastest way to end a war is to surrender. (h/t to Jersey)


  3. …Well, it’s not a great “exit strategy,” but it s one.

    … A VIDEO!! He could not help himself. Like Hillary says Muslims can’t.

    … so the terrorist would be able to follow The Dead. Not the band.


  4. Everything Obummer has wanted to do has been hung up in congress in some form or fashion, so he goes around them with his pen and phone. He promised to shut down Gitmo then found out he couldn’t. So, he is using his pen and phone to find reasons to release the terrorists. Then after all of the terrorists are released there will be no reason to keep it open.

    Promise kept.


  5. … because the poor guy was ill.
    No, wait. Because his life was in danger.
    Um, no; because Hegel approved it, not me.
    Dammit, why don’t you people respect my explanations??!

    … Because everyone deserves freedom.
    See? I told Vlad I’d have more platitudes after the election.


  6. Why Did Obama Release the Terrorist? Well, it’s complicated….

    OBAMA: People of the Afghanistan! Washington is your fwiend. To pwove our fwiendship, we will welease an accused tewwowist fwom our pwison at Gitmo to be wemanded into westwicted custody in Qataw. Whom would you have me welease?
    TALIBAN SPOKSMAN: Welease Woger!
    OTHER TALIBAN: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
    OBAMA: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
    OTHER TALIBAN: [laughing and cheering]
    HAGEL: Sir, uh, we don’t have a ‘Woger’, sir.
    TALIBAN SPOKSMAN: Well, what about Wodewick, then?
    OTHER TALIBAN: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!


    OBAMA: This is not vewy funny. I gwant you one last chance…
    TALIBAN SPOKSMAN: Welease Khaiwullah Khaiwkhwa
    OBAMA: Wight. Anothew silly name. That’s it. No….
    HAGEL: Wait, sir. We do hava a Khaiwullah, er, Khairullah Khairkhwa.
    OBAMA: Very well! I shall welease Khaiwullah Khaiwkhwa. Anything to wesolve this. Hewe, take fouw othews. Just weave me awone.
    OTHER TALIBAN: [laughing and cheering]



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