Straight Line of the Day: Gas Prices Are at a 6 Year High. Obama’s Solution…

Posted on July 2, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Gas prices are at a 6 year high. Obama’s solution…

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33 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Gas Prices Are at a 6 Year High. Obama’s Solution…”

  1. Steve H says:

    … change the length of a year.

  2. Bob B says:

    …involves reminding people that their energy prices would necessarily skyrocket if he had his way, so, “how do like me now?”

  3. c64wood says:

    …is to raise the minimum wage so working families don’t have to choose between health insurance and gas. That doesn’t work since health insurance is mandatory. Okay, between birth control and gas. That doesn’t work either since birth control is free. Um, between food and gas. Well, you can get an EBT card… Oh never mind!

    …go play golf

    …wag the dog (before eating it)

  4. DamnCat says:

    …tax oil companies.

    …tax gas sales.

    …free birth control.

  5. Burt says:

    …tax complainers. (calls ’em whiners)

  6. Anchorman says:

    start pricing by the liter, so it seems less costly.

    Big Metric never sleeps.

  7. Gumbeaux says:

    Sign an Executive Order mandating all vehicles other than golf carts get at least 100 MPG by the year 2015. Then go play golf.

  8. pbunyan says:

    Solution? High gas prices ARE Obama’s solution. The problems he was solving were liberty and prosperity.

  9. Jimmy says:

    …is to claim that Republicans are blocking him at every turn. This is NOT an imperial presidency!!

  10. HokieGomer says:

    …light a match and watch the whole damn thing burn.

  11. AT says:

    … declare it covered under Obamacare at employer’s expense.

  12. jack says:

    The Affordable Gasoline Act. (AGA) otherwise known as ObamaCar. Let the state take over the pumps. Sure, what could go wrong?

  13. frogmouth says:


  14. FredKey says:

    …is to go for the all-time record!

  15. nabqrules says:

    …check the news the next day, and claim there is no there there.

  16. ealye says:

    Attack an oil producing country to get then closer to his $5/gallon goal he set at the beginning of his presidency.

  17. Oppo says:

    … is to tell people to stop driving — get a phone and a pen, and learn how to use them.

  18. Keith says:

    … blame Bush.

  19. Oppo says:

    Increasing taxis — not penalties.

  20. MPH says:

    … put a new tax on gasoline so that the government can provide a subsidy to those gas purchasers that vote democrat.

  21. James says:

    Require all Americans, even the ones that walk everywhere, to buy gas. Then give out subsidies to those who can’t afford it.

  22. Oppo says:

    A gun registry of motor vehicles. Oh, you noticed what he did there?

  23. Oppo says:

    … was apparently to have GM recall every vehicle so that drivers wouldn’t notice.

  24. Oppo says:

    … was to issue an Executive Order renaming it “Benghazoline,” so the press won’t mention it.

  25. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …push for cars that run on renewable fuels such as unicorn farts.

  26. Oppo says:

    … was to have Global Warming ™ scientists go back and “adjust” the raw data so that it appears that gas prices are at an all-time low.

    (Really…. They do that with thermometer readings, you know.)

  27. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    …..get them to a 17 trillion year high.

  28. Oppo says:

    … is to replace diesel power with D-cell power. Next?
    Oh, you can’t afford that many D-batteries? Declare access to D-cells a “fundamental right.”

    … was to have the NSA track the driving habits of all Americans,
    the Justice Department monitor the phones of all reporters who cover this story,
    the FTC sue gas stations that raised their prices when the government raised its taxes,
    the IRS audit any group that organizes to protest,
    the MSM call it a phony crisis,
    the EPA conduct on-site investigatons,
    National Parks to close, to save gas,
    and — geez,nit’s scary how easy it is to think like Obama!

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …payment options are now Cash, Grass or Just Ask Nicely.

    …Keystone pipeline workers get go-ahead, paid with Viagra.

    …shorten the roads = lessening the mileage.

    …double deck the buses he throws people under.

  30. Dohtimes says:

    …put Tim Howard at a really busy intersection, directing traffic.

  31. raml says:

    raise federal gas tax

  32. mike says:

    …raise gas prices.

  33. Apostic says:


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