Straight Line of the Day: To Help Democrats in the 2014 Elections, Michelle Obama…

Posted on July 29, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

To help Democrats in the 2014 elections, Michelle Obama…

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23 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: To Help Democrats in the 2014 Elections, Michelle Obama…”

  1. Bob B says:

    …offered to cater the RNC convention in Cleveland.

  2. Steve H says:

    … will be in charge of feeding their Republican opponents.

  3. Steve H says:

    @1 – Only my wife is allowed to read my mind (which is especially difficult since I have so much trouble reading it myself).

  4. walruskkkch says:

    To help Democrats in the 2014 elections, Michelle Obama…

    will eat the opposition…literally.

  5. walruskkkch says:

    To help Democrats in the 2014 elections, Michelle Obama…

    lie, cheat and steal with reckless abandon.

  6. Bob B says:

    …will meet Hillary and Lizzy Warren out on the heath, along with their “special friends” Graymalkin and Paddock, to whip up a special charm to confound their enemies.

  7. Steve H says:

    To Help Democrats in the 2014 Elections, Michelle Obama… and Hillary Clinton will play the lead roles in Frozen II – Revenge of the Undernourished Undocumented Immigrants.

  8. Steve H says:

    {knock knock knockknock knock} Elsa? Do you wanna build a snow job?

  9. Anchorman says:

    will campaign in all 57 states.

    will give free boob-belts with each $1,000 donation.

    will ensure victory by unveiling her most powerful weapon to date, a campaign to reach the most dim-witted voters and get them to elect Democrats. BEHOLD #electDemIdiots

  10. Matt Musson says:

    will invite Democrat voters to dance on the Tonight Show where her and Jimmy Fallon!

  11. Burt says:

    …will stay out of sight.

  12. can of spam says:

    … will campaign for Republicans.

  13. DamnCat says:

    …complain about how Democrats try to stop everything Obama wants to do.

  14. Chip says:

    To help Democrats in the 2014 elections, Michelle Obama… will challenge the Repblican Candidates to the Qab jIH nagil.

    (for the geek impaired: http://www.klingon.org/database/rituals.html#anchor592217)

  15. tanstaafl44 says:

    will go back to Kashyyyk

  16. walruskkkch says:

    To help Democrats in the 2014 elections, Michelle Obama…

    is busily filing out election ballots for all contests.

  17. Bob B says:

    @3 – Nah bro, I’m not reading your mind (I’ll wait for the movie!) – it’s just that great minds…you got the rest, don’t you?

  18. Joel says:

    Should just STFU.

    Of course, it would be good if she did that all the time.

  19. Writer says:

    … will spend the campaign period on vacation without interviews.

  20. Burt says:

    …will launch a hashtag campaign.

  21. Gumbeaux says:

    … will lower her profile by not doing those Jack’s Link Beef Jerky commercials.

  22. Dohtimes says:

    …have all elected Democrats switch parties, and panties.

    …replace Black Panthers at polls with MS-13 members who have so recently been pardoned.

  23. CLIFF says:

    …went on food stamps.

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