Bicycle Race

Posted on August 6, 2014 11:00 am

Everyone’s seen the pictures of Obama riding a bike. Turns out that his Secretary of State can ride a bike, too.

So, in a bicycle race between Barack Obama and John Kerry, who would win?

[Credit: Obama – AP, Kerry – Eliana Johnson]

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15 Responses to “Bicycle Race”

  1. blarg says:

    trick question. nobody wins.

  2. Rihar says:


  3. Harvey says:

    @2 Rihar – speaking of which, the above pic needs Putin on a Harley to make it complete:

  4. Burt says:

    Depends on who is the doper and who is the dopee. You might notice that neither is wearing a yellow jersey.

  5. mike says:

    neither, they would both be mocked by Nelson Muntz and go home crying.

  6. jw says:

    obvious photoshop.

    no training wheels on either.

  7. Jimmy says:

    Whoever smoked the most choom before the race. But they both get blue ribbons for participating.

  8. Chish says:

    We win if the tractor trailer is accurate…

  9. Chip says:

    So, in a bicycle race between Barack Obama and John Kerry, who would win?

    The Late Night Show comedians?

  10. Greg says:

    9-Chip-only the ones willing to be subjected a long, painful IRS audit.

  11. Iowa Jim says:

    The country wins whenever both of them are on their bicycles, because they aren’t actively messing things up.

  12. Larry E says:

    The winner is the one with the most Hello Kitty decals on his bike.

    (It’s amazing that such a pair of dorks can cause so much mischief in the world. Obama really lit up the Middle East with his idiotic Arab Spring — back-stabbing Gadhafi, Mubarak, the Iraqis, and everybody else in sight.)

  13. @boston_bubba says:

    Speaking of bicycles, did you know John Kerry was in Vietnam?

  14. a guy named Rob says:

    I’m sure it would be the one who wins the slap fight after they bump into each other and fall just short of the finish line. Which will be Bush’s fault, naturally

  15. iandelor says:

    The front gears and chains on both bikes win, because they snags their pant legs and devour both of them before their secret service details can do anything about it (and also because I’m betting neither is smart enough to stop peddling when this happens – kind of like how they govern!). Also: riding a bike in slacks in not exercise – it’s a photo op.

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