Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Latest Executive Order…

Posted on August 21, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama’s latest Executive Order

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26 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Latest Executive Order…”

  1. Jimmy says:

    …is to forbid the New York Times from requiring logging-in to read their stories.

  2. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama’s latest Executive Order…

    free cookies for everyone!

  3. CCO says:

    …has outlawed war, terrorism, and hate; and has mandated peace and love.

  4. Bob B says:

    …requires all golf courses within three hours of the White House to hold an open tee time for the President’s exclusive use…

  5. Joel says:

    Abolishes the Imperial Senate. And the Imperial House of Representatives.

  6. Bob B says:

    …replaces the daily briefing with a detailed analysis of the day’s golf course layout and weather conditions.

  7. Anchorman says:

    was on the back of his scorecard.

  8. Gumbeaux says:

    … set the new EO record for use of the word “uh.”

    … was the first to be signed by Valerie Jarrett’s autopen.

  9. DamnCat says:

    …will streamline the executive order process. From now on executive orders will be issued directly from Valerie Jarrett.

  10. DamnCat says:

    Curse you, Gumbeaux – you beat me to it!

  11. FormerHostage says:

    …limitless Mulligans.

  12. Burt says:

    President Obama’s latest Executive Order…
    really surprised him when he heard it on the news. He will come up with an opinion on it later.

  13. FormerHostage says:

    …was issued fwom the balcony while standing next to his vewwy good fwiend Biggus Dickus.

  14. FormerHostage says:

    …do you find that amusing….centuwian?

  15. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    I have just dissolved the Imperial Senate; they will no longer be of any concern to us. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away forever.

  16. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    He has a wife, you know. You know what she’s called? She’s called… ‘Incontinentia’… Incontinentia Buttocks

  17. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    I came, I saw, I shot a 125.

  18. c64wood says:

    …a side of fries with the dog

    …is probably unconstitutional

    …will be frowned upon only because he’s black

  19. walruskkkch says:

    President Obama’s latest Executive Order…

    banned the us of KY Jelly with all future Executive Orders.

  20. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Order 666.

  21. Michael J. Bilek says:

    Hank Haney as White House Chief of Staff.

  22. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    …cancelled the 2016 elections in the interest of affirmative action.

  23. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    …mandated a “Hrrruupph” from everyone in the room whenever the president finishes a sentence.

  24. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    …was actually conceived by Eric Holder: a.k.a. the H.R. Holderman of this administration.

  25. Doug says:

    Grants himself the power to amend the Constitution. Which he will ignore… and will just continue doing whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it.

  26. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . was for chicken poodle soup

    . . . was that he be allowed to use the women’s tees

    . . . was that his subjects avert their eyes when he passes

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