Straight Line of the Day: The First Thing Obama Did After Getting Back from Vacation…

Posted on August 26, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The first thing Obama did after getting back from vacation…

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29 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The First Thing Obama Did After Getting Back from Vacation…”

  1. jw says:

    …was go to Vegas for a fundraiser.

  2. blarg says:

    …play a little golf, relax, and start planning his next vacation.

  3. blarg says:

    …sign another unconstitutional executive order.

  4. blarg says:


    …call his choom guy.

  5. Oppo says:

    … lower his desk chair, shake Biden’s crumbs out of his keyboard, and call an electrician to re-connect the Red Button.

  6. Oppo says:

    … pay off the Bibisitter and get caught up on the whole Middle East thing.

  7. Burt says:

    …was bring in the newspapers off the porch and ask Valarie if there was anything in them he should know about if asked by the press.

  8. Burt says:

    …wormed the Gerbil. proving he does care about Gerbil Worming.

  9. Burt says:

    …pulled some radishes out of the garden and did a photo op posing as Scarlett returning to Tara.

  10. Bob B says:

    …was to peruse the latest list of Executive Orders his staff came up with, because right after a vacation no one wants to do anything strenuous (like working on pushing actual legislation) when the Auto-pen can take care of it, no muss, no fuss.

  11. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    Check in with his overlord, Satan.

  12. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    Got right back to work; updating his fantasy football picks.

  13. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    Got his clubs re-gripped and took in a nice round of golf to relax from that difficult trip with the wife and kids.

  14. Dohtimes says:

    …memoed himself: Flowers for Reggie. For God’s sake send the dresses to the dry cleaners. Pay the dog fattener.

    …invited Darren Wilson and Tony Stewart over for a sprint car race in the Oval Office.

    …lamented: I coulda been a contendah. I coulda been Al Sharpton. Got his bartender out of bed to start mixing appletinis.

  15. Keith Arnold says:

    … took off for North Carolina for a confab with Kay Hagen (you don’t actually believe these two know a damn thing about Veterans, do ya?), because being in that Oval Office and actually working is HARD!

  16. Keith Arnold says:

    … focus like a laser on the economy. No, actually, more like a fully operational Death Star than like a laser…

  17. Jeff in South Dakota says:

    Checked his mail for that secret decoder ring he sent all those boxtops in for from Fruit Loops.

  18. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    …Was to watch the Emmys, because it is his duty as president to be abreast of important current events.

  19. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    …was to push through his mandate to give a half a million “undocumented” aliens immediate U.S. citizenship, because he was forced to pay the servants on Martha’s Vineyard “under the table”, as the owner of the enormous compound he “rented” does.

  20. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    …Was to attend the stag party of a former White House chef—Oh no, wait….My bad, that was why he flew home (at great expense to the taxpayers) so that it would LOOK like he was trying to handle any one of the many crisis situations.

  21. ConnecticutCompromise says:

    .. was to book his next vacation.

  22. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . was to blame George W. Bush for the fact that he (Obama) had gone on vacation.

  23. c64wood says:

    …Saw the world burning, turned to Joe and said, “Eff it dude, let’s go bowling.”

    …got back to tackling that danged Rubik’s Cube he got in 1980

    …stampeded cattle through the Vatican.

  24. FormerHostage says:

    …was to make an appointment with a proctologist to remove the MSM’s collective lips.

    …was to lock himself in the war room with a few bottles of wine and watch all the stuff he recorded on TiVo.

  25. FormerHostage says:

    …the same thing he does every night, Pinky – try to take over the world!

  26. Oppo says:

    … was to do some back-to-getting-schooled shopping.

    … was to check his voice mail. And Harvey’s. And Basil’s. And jw’s, and Jimmy’s. . .

  27. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …remember to pick up Joe from the babysitter’s.

  28. Doug says:

    Water his pot plants.

  29. Karen says:

    .. Take a nap.

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