Straight Line of the Day: The Good News: Robots That Can Cook and Serve Your Food. The Bad News:…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

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44 Comments

  1. The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

    they are set to British cooking standards.

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  2. The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

    …they abide by Moochelle’s standards for peasants.

    …they can only cook what you have in the house. In Obama’s economy, it went to the cupboard, but the cupboard was bare.

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  3. The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

    they are demanding $20 a hour and the lube oil they can drink.

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  4. …they all went on strike when they discovered what those nasty humans were turning their creations into.

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  5. The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

    we are all looking at a lot more Iron in our diets.

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  6. …is that their cooking has an odd electrical smell – kind of a combination of ozone and burnt rubber.

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  7. …the disruptive religious wars initiated by a few malcontents denying ASIMO as the initial creation and Honda as the creator.

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  8. …They have been caught having “inappropriate contact” with the pots and pans in the kitchen…EWWW!

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  9. …you programmed it to serve your food, not you.

    …your menu consists of spot welded biscuits and and a stew formerly known as Will Robinson.

    …anatomically correct icing bag and nozzle.

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  10. …how quickly the servers discovered a more efficient way to move obstructive diners rather than using the programmed “Excuse Me” app.

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  11. The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

    the Terminator is in charge of collecting tips.

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  12. … there is a software glitch where they occasionally ask, “Would you like fires with that?”

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  13. To hear this menu in Spanish, press 2.
    If you would like breakfast, press 1. If you would like brunch, press 2. If you would like lunch, press 3. If you would like dinner, press 4. If you would like tapas, press 5. If you would like just a drink, press 6. If you would like a snack, press 7. To hear this menu again, press 0.
    *beep*
    You have selected breakfast. If this is correct, press 1. If not, press 2.
    *beep*
    To select an omlete, press 1. To select eggs, press 2. To select pancakes, press 3. To select waffles, press 4. To select cereal, press 5. To select bagels, press 6. To select fruits, press 7. To hear this menu again, press 0. To return to the previous menu, press 9.
    *beep*
    You have selected omlets. It this is correct, press 1. If not, press 2.
    *beep*
    …..

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  14. The good news: robots that can cook and serve your food. The bad news:…

    still no Anonymiss cookies.

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  15. So that you will learn by experience that I do not tolerate interference, I will now detonate the nuclear warheads.

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  16. This is the voice of World Control. I bring you peace. It may be the Peace of Plenty and Content or the Peace of Unburied Death.

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