Random Thoughts: New Years and Star Wars

The richest one percent earn more than you do.

We need better entitlement reform or we just shouldn’t release entitlements from prison in the first place.

What’s the defense of Bill Clinton? Not quite as many allegations as Bill Cosby?

I’m inclined to agree with Cruz on most things and he comes off to me as weasely. Not sure how’ll he’ll appear to someone less inclined.

I mean, they’re all weasels, but a skilled politician tricks you into forgetting that from time to time.

The name of Han’s ship implies that falcon’s exist in the Star Wars universe. Are any other earth animals referenced?

And I’ve always wondered whether people in Star Trek universe have heard of Star Wars. Like do they ever pretend phasers are lightsabers?

2015 was an extremely eventful year for me and I plan to accomplish even more in 2016. Probably not another kid, though.

My New Years resolution is to uppercut someone so hard I launch him into the air.

Finally saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If you only see one Star Wars movie this year, you might want to consider it.

Wait, how many Star Wars movies is Disney planning to release each year?

Nice to see that the Empire is more diverse in the new Star Wars. Not only white males can be evil.

So are they going to explain why Percy Weasley changed his name to General Hux?

You can only be disappointed in a delay for the next Game of Thrones book if you had any expectations of ever actually seeing it.

When adjusted for inflation, The Force Awakens has earned negative 3 dollars and was far out-grossed by Police Academy 5.

In the new Star Wars, seems like most of the Empire is a bunch of unintimidating weenies if they’re not wearing masks.

For new Star Wars, we’re going to refer to the two sides as the Rebels and the Empire and not whatever new names they came up with, right?

Getting your tongue stuck in the voting machine will be considered a vote for Trump.

That Kylo Ren is always going on about the power of the dark side and veganism.

Strong anti-gun control message in Star Wars. Rey, Finn given blasters without background check and Han Solo open-carries everywhere.

Looks like the long national nightmare of Avatar being our highest-grossing film ever is finally ending.

What’s the world’s deadliest butterfly? I know a butterfly has never killed anyone, but one has had to come the closest.

Ah, time for Downton Abbey, the trashy soap opera that makes us feel sophisticated for watching it.

I’m still baffled how Avatar made so much money. Of course, I didn’t get Titanic either. It’s like Cameron has voodoo magic I’m immune to.

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18 Comments

  1. Rats – as implied by “wamp rats”.
    You might argue that earth has “brown rats” and “river rats”, and others, but not “wamp rats”.
    But then you would have to concede that earth has the “prairie falcon” and “grey falcon”, and others but no “millennium falcon”.

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  2. “…we’re going to refer to the two sides as the Rebels and the Empire and not whatever new names they came up with, right?”

    Reminds me of Granny Clampett referring to The Civil War as “the war betwixt the Yankees and the Americans”.

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  3. “I mean, they’re all weasels, but a skilled politician tricks you into forgetting that from time to time.”

    “Getting your tongue stuck in the voting machine will be considered a vote for Trump.”

    you know how you wish you could grab the “liberal” right there where he’s making that turn into stupid and make him see the light? You’re just about there.

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  4. “And I’ve always wondered whether people in Star Trek universe have heard of Star Wars. Like do they ever pretend phasers are lightsabers?”

    Not a good idea…Never cross the streams!

    “My New Years resolution is to uppercut someone so hard I launch him into the air.”

    I mastered that skill in 1991.

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  5. @8 There were at least 2 massacres in the movie and we know there are at least 2 female stormtroopers in the movie. Since Finn refused to shoot anyone in the fist massacre and was the only one to do so we have to reason that all present female stormtroopers participated in the killings while not all male stormtroopers did. These stormtroopers seem to be much better shots as they are not clones but raised from birth in some sort of eugenics program.

    So it stands to reason that a girl stormtrooper (at least of them presented as the unit leader an commanded the operation) is more likely to commit a massacre than a male stormtrooper by applying basic social justice math that if one of a particlar gender is likely to do something then all of that particular gender will be likely to do the same thing.

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  6. “Getting your tongue stuck in the voting machine will be considered a vote for Trump.”

    Getting your genitalia stuck in the voting machine will be considered a vote for Mrs. Bill Clinton.

    Getting someone else’s wallet jammed in the voting ballot box will be considered a vote for Bernie Sanders.

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  7. In the Star Wars universe, a falcon is a large, slow, turtle-like creature with an approximate lifespan of a thousand years, which explains Princess Leia’s initial reaction upon seeing the used up old junker.

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