Straight Line of the Day: Obama Just Signed a Last-Minute Executive Order That…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama just signed a last-minute executive order that…

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    • “Hide her in a hiding place where no Juan ever goes;
      Put her in the pantry with the snowflakes.
      It’s a little secret, just like Billy-Jeff’s affairs,
      Most of all you’ve got to keep her off the skids.

      “Cous-cous to chew, Mrs. Robinson;
      Jay-Z loves you more than you will know.
      Wo wo wo.
      Good press, oh please, Mrs. Robinson:
      Effin’ old’s no place for pay-to-play . . . “


  1. Obama just signed a last-minute executive order that…

    … is a red herring intended to embarrass Trump if he chooses to overturn it.
    The areas in Obama’s EO are already not used/suitable for drilling, etc. This is like posting “No Parking” on the roof of your house.


  2. … exempts Mexicans from needing stinking badges.

    … makes reading IMAO a hate crime.

    … instructs the Justice Department to bring the full force of its investigative power to checking the background of this Walrus Winchell.


  3. … pardons anyone who claims you, he, or she didn’t, immediately after you, he, or she did.

    … mandates that all available funk accompany noise, in the event either is brought in.

    … empanels a grand jury to determine who exactly let the dogs out.


  4. … penalizes, anathemizes, fines, condemns and ostracizes anyone who doesn’t use the serial comma. Aaaauugh! Damn! Cat!!

    … penalizes, anathemizes, fines, condemns, and ostracizes anyone who didn’t give thumbs-up to my awesome/perfect/brilliant entries above. Enjoy your IRS audit next year, losers!


  5. …..changes the Electoral College to the Electoral University (so the professors will get paid more, pretty much every school in MA has done it) and gives free tuition to illegal immigrants and anyone who doesn’t work …oh wait, that’s redundant.



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