The Illustrated Frank J: The Only Thing I Wanted to Hear in That Whole 51-Minute Blah-Blah Fest

[source]

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Surprisingly, I Didn’t Already Know All of These

[The Untold Truth Of Darth Vader] (Viewer #502,173)

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Congrats, Hillary – *I* Didn’t Even Make That List

Hillary Clinton made GQ Magazine’s “Least Influential People of 20l6” list.

I’m assuming just behind the people who wrote her campaign ads.

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Compliments on Appearance Are the Candy in the Devil’s Windowless Van!

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

reference link

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Link of the Day: Satire – Donald Trump Appoints Twitter As White House Press Secretary

[The Burrard Street Journal]

Donald Trump Appoints Twitter As White House Press Secretary

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Remember: Mutually Assured Destruction Actually Succeeded in Preventing a Nuclear War

Both Putin and Trump have called for increasing their respective country’s nuclear arsenals.

Fine with me. As long as we both agree to test them on Iran if they get too close to getting one.

[title reference link]

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Promoted Comment: Obama Swan Song

[left in the comments to this post by Oppo [High Praise!]

(To the tune of “Dream On“)

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lies and my fakes getting clearer
The past is gone
Giving up my desk to Don
Isn’t that the way?
Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where a leak come from or what it shows
I know Hillary’s sins
She’s got to lose, when I always knew how to win

Have my life’s in books’ written pages
Lived and learned from fools, and outrageous
You know, it’s “true”
All the chickens come back to you.

Sing “I’m With Her,” not for four years
Sing for the left, and sing for their tears
Sink with me, just for nine days
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take him away

Ream Don, ream Don, ream Don,
Dreamers want their dreams to come true
Ream Don, ream Don, ream Don,
And ream until you’re a drama queen too
Ream Don [7x, in increasing shrillness]

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Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s Most Important Accomplishment in These Last Few Days of His Administration Will Be…

[Submitted by Iowa Jim High Praise!]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama’s most important accomplishment in these last few days of his administration will be…

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She’s Got Metal Fever!

In France, a woman has revealed she is in love with a robot and determined to marry it.

Perfect. I can’t wait until she finds an offended gay bakery and makes them do the wedding cake.

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Random Thoughts: Repealing the ACA and Comic Book Movies

If you’re in middle class, ACA feels like the president took a dump on you and wants you to be grateful he deigned you worthy of his time.

Can’t all the people who like abortion fund abortion and all the people who don’t like abortion fund miniature American flags?

In doing a live Facebook video of torturing a disabled man, what exactly was the best case scenario outcome those teens were hoping for?

“I can have ice cream for breakfast if I say so! I’m infalbubble!” -Kid Pope, new show I’m pitching

Your rights never require federal funding of particular entities. Well, maybe the military.

What would happen if all the people yelling about PP being defunded funded PP? We’d be a free a country with people exercising freedoms.

We have a giant stupid government of people who think they’re immune to math. Any cut in federal spending should be celebrated.

The way things are going, that wall will be built between middle America and the coasts. Doubt we can get Mexico to pay for that.

The ACA was dishonestly sold, and now people dishonestly defend it pointing to those who got coverage while ignoring legitimate grievances.
Maybe some people got coverage who didn’t have it AND others got completely screwed.
Of course, the argument for the ACA was never “The middle class needs to pay more for worse coverage to fund everyone else.”
So either the president was too dishonest or incompetent to know what the result would, but he owes a huge apology to millions of Americans.
If you want to save the ACA, the first step is to apologize to those hurt by it. Everyone is instead continuing to be arrogant and dishonest.

“So what do you do?”
“I’m the pope.”
narrows eyes “Aren’t you kind of young for a pope?”
shrugs
opening theme

How about a resolution not contesting the results of the election but just saying that the whole thing was really stupid.

What if Mexico pays for the wall in pesos? No stores here accept those. It would be useless to us.

Here’s Rowdi. We got her 11 years ago this month. We were told she was 3 years old at the time. She’s probably older now.
Rowdi
I was hoping she’d slow down a little when she got older, but she still lives up to her name.

No matter how many awful films M. Night Shyamalan makes, I keep rooting for him to make a comeback b/c of how good his first few films were.

Suicide Squad was such a mess. How do you invest over a hundred million in a movie at not make sure it’s at least decently plotted?
And how do so many jokes miss? There are countless funny people you can pay to make sure your jokes are actually funny.
So so dumb. It was alternately too dark and too schmaltzy (“I’m not going to lose my new family!”).
It says a lot that the least bad thing about the DC movie universe so far is Ben Affleck as Batman.
My advice: Put the Arrowverse people in charge of the movies. They actually understand comic books and fun.
And both DC and Marvel: Please learn how to make a memorable villain.

Maybe smaller budgets would help. You have to get more creative if you can’t just fill the screen with a bunch of CGI nonsense.
I’d say the most consistently good comic book material has been the Marvel Netflix series.
They never have quite enough material to fill 13 episodes, but otherwise usually pretty solid.

To me, the Marvel movies are like high quality junk food. Never great, but you always look forward to it and are almost never disappointed.
The worst of the Marvel universe were the first two Thor movies which were entertaining to watch while leaving almost no impression.

The 22 episode American season is kinda insane. No hour long show can really fill that up well, though many try admirably.
Not as insane as the 3 episode British season (or series, as they call is), though.

If you believe Barack Obama is a good president everyone should be grateful for, this whole Trump thing has to be even more confusing.

If you like celebrities lecturing people on politics, you’re as horrible a human being as Trump.

If you weren’t very critical of Barack Obama, you’re not going to have a lot of cache being critical of Trump.
Republicans barely listened to other Republicans critical of Trump. Why the hell would they care what a Democrat thinks?

If Star Wars Episode VIII picks up right where the last one left off, will the opening scroll just be short novelization of Episode VII?

Who pays attention anymore when Democrats scream racism at a Republican?
They’re rhetoric when confronted with an active Klansman or Mitt Romney is exactly the same. Dems are useless on that issue.

Some people hate Republicans. Some people hate Democrats. Can’t we compromise and hate them both?

How can you have comprising information on Trump that’s worse than what we already know? His awfulness goes to 11?

I missed the speech. Did he apologize for what his bumbling did to my health insurance?

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Cartoon of the Day – Fan

20170106glennmccoy
[Glenn McCoy – GoComics]

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