The Illustrated Frank J: I’m Hoping Trump Eventually Gets to Play the Bad Guy in the Live Action Captain Planet Movie


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Easier on the Eyes, Too

More than 7,000 years after they were embalmed, 15 mummies were taken to a clinic last week to undergo computerized tomography scans.

Surprisingly, it turns out that they were actually injected with fewer preservatives than Nancy Pelosi.

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Death, Taxes, and John Kerry Being Wrong

[High Praise! to Dry Bones]

[title reference link]

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Link of the Day: Satire – Intel Analysts Instructed To Limit Briefings With Trump To Under 140 Characters

[High Praise! to DuffelBlog]

Intel analysts instructed to limit briefings with Trump to under 140 characters

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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It’s a Valuable Thing; You Just Don’t Give It Away For Nothing

Imprisoned former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is seeking a presidential commutation of his 14-year sentence on a corruption conviction.

I don’t know. Sending Blago back to the free-fire zone of Chicago might have 8th Amendment problems.

title reference link (NSFW)

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10 Peculiar Reasons Hillary Lost the Election

They’re still in shock, but the liberal media spin is coming, so try not to drown in the flood of pitiful excuses they make for her. Which may or may not include the following, which I probably just made up:

If we wanted to taste the rainbow, we'd eat Skittles

If we wanted to taste the rainbow, we’d elect a bag of Skittles

1) Russian hackers, whackers, crackers, flackers, snackers, stackers, and Packer-backers (Go Aaron Rodgers!)… and Methodists.

2) Canklephobes

3) Couldn’t best Trump in a battle of wits because she didn’t know that iocaine powder comes from Autralia.

4) Not enough videos of celebrities demanding her victory.

5) Saying “Pokemon Go to the polls” with a straight face. Anyone sociopathic enough to do that can’t be trusted with the nuclear codes.

6) She actually was 50 points ahead. But only in California.

7) Unfair height disadvantage during debates with Trump, as they wouldn’t allow her to wear her KISS boots. Or makeup.

8) Headlight-deer Bill’s sidelong glance at the Non-Consensuals during the debate.

9) Basket of deplorables? Who in this day and age keeps their deplorables in a basket when Amazon sends you a free storage box with every purchase? SO out of touch…

10) The dog ate her campaign strategy. Then Obama ate her dog.

Any other reasons she might have lost?

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Straight Line of the Day: The Military’s Newest Weapon – a Swarm of Tiny…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The military’s newest weapon – a swarm of tiny…

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The Sinking Ship That Rats Climb Onto

After a UN vote that condemned Israel, Donald Trump warned that after he’s inaugurated “things will be different”.

Well, I suppose it could use a small change. Either airlift the UN building to Brussels, or push it into the East River. I’m good either way.

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