The Illustrated Frank J: Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Twice, I Vote Democrat


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I Expect This to Make It Into the Aquaman Movie

North Korea says it plans to test a nuclear warhead capable intercontinental ballistic missile.

That’s terrible. Someone has to warn the fish off North Korea’s coast!

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[less entertaining, more factual title reference link]

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Yeah, Trump Just Did That

[High Praise! to AfterMath]

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Link of the Day: PC Police & Social Justice Warriors Are an Ancient Evil

[High Praise! to Mental Floss]

What’s the Story Behind This Superman Comic?

Don’t forget: the Red Scare DID find actual dues-paying Communist Party members at a time when the Soviets advocated the violent overthrow of the US government

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Every Intelligent Person I Know Asked the Same Question

Scientists now say that radio signals being received from deep space could be signs of extraterrestrial intelligence.

It’s pretty strong evidence. The message says “whaddya mean there’s no Season 2 of Firefly?”

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12 Minor Trump Tweaks to the White House Web Site

Ink’s barely dry on Trump’s new business cards, and already he’s shaking things up on the digital side. If you go to, you may notice a few changes, like:

Panicky global warming page replaced by "Make the Globe Warm Again" page

Panicky global warming page replaced by “Make the Globe Warm Again” page

1) ID required to vote posts up or down.

2) Animated gifs of the bust of Churchill. Which don’t actually move, since it’s a statue. I don’t think Trump quite understands animated gifs.

3) All Spanish pages eliminated, web site is now 100% English. But it’s British English, so I don’t get all that stuff about “petrol prices”.

4) To distance himself from Obama’s legacy, the site will not use the letter “O”. Interesting news regarding the Supreme Curt.

5) The main page headline crawl is Trump’s Twitter feed.

6) Official White House T-Shirt babe picture: Melania pointing a gun at the camera. Yeah, I think we’ve got a copyright case here.

7) Annoying pop-up ad for bacon toasters, for which we will forgive him, assuming there are free samples involved.

8) Annoying clickbait ad saying “Send Hillary to jail using this one old, weird trick”. Sadly, clicking the ad 300 times is not the trick. Don’t ask how I know, I just do, all right?

9) A pair of animated googly eyes that follow your mouse cursor.

10) The “prove you’re a human” comment verification feature is a US citizenship test question. Get 3 wrong and it’s over the wall with you!

11) Every day, a sidebar poll asks readers to suggest a nickname for a different prominent Democrat. “Crooked [First Name]” is always an option.

12) Link to IMAO’s “Nuke the Moon” page next to a countdown timer.

Any changes I missed? Leave ’em in the comments, please…

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Straight Line of the Day: Surprise! Donald Trump’s Pick to Fill the Supreme Court Vacancy…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Surprise! Donald Trump’s pick to fill the Supreme Court vacancy…

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Random Thoughts: The Era of President Trump

Whatever faults I have in educating my children, they’re very clear on the fact that Zelda is the girl.

I might trust politicians in educating our kids if there was a law saying their kids had to go to a public school in the bottom ten percent.

Your idiotic, petty little views on the public school system don’t supersede other people’s choices for their own children.

The American left’s views on political violence is a lot more nuanced than I’m comfortable with.

The problem was never Trump’s awfulness but all the other awfulness of other people that keeps getting ignored.
Well, now that the awfulness of others made Trump president, his awfulness is more of an issue.

I hope there’s an asterisk in the history book next to Trump’s name noting that not a lot of celebrities went to his inauguration.

I’m a moderate in that I don’t think Trump is exceptionally worse than the opposition.

Aggressively mediocre. That would be my two word summary of the Obama presidency.
His mediocrity was highlighted by all the pretense of him being something special – not just the inexperienced Chicago politician he was.
His presidency was silly, no matter how much it scrunched its face and tried to look serious.
When people look back years from now, his presidency will look like a logical transition to Trump, one silliness evolving into the other.
In the end, though, Barack Obama did do exactly what he was elected to do: Be the first black president. So he was not a failure.
He will always be an integral part of America’s journey on race, which looks like it will have many more bumps ahead.
And who knows; maybe soon we’ll yearn for mediocrity.
Good bye, President Obama. Thanks for trying. I wish you and your beautiful family the best of luck and hope you enjoy civilian life.

I get this idea from the Women’s March that they’re mad about something, but none of them will tell me what.

The core of socialism is coming up with excuses to use violence against non-violence.

We should have the government round up into camps anyone it suspects of being fascist.

The only thing dumber than FOX News is blaming all political problems on FOX News.

More to worry about when Obama became president because more were enthralled with him. If you want to be dictator, that’s what you need.

If Harambe were still here, he’d support a peaceful transition of power because he was a peaceful animal.

Thought the protectionist part of Trump’s inauguration speech was stupid, but I liked how he was basically telling everyone around him they were awful.
“You, the Republicans and Democrats in DC, are bad and everyone hates you.” When he’s right, he’s right.

My prediction: We’re going to have a booming economy because we’re due for one (nothing to do with Trump). He’ll probably be reelected.

char, tchar, wchar… I just want to parse a stupid string!

Considering how strange things are now, maybe the next season of Stranger Things will just have to be called Different Things.

I know we have a rule of law, but it’s hard to get worked up when either a Commie or a Nazi gets punched.

When you use violence against people you disagree with, I don’t think that’s a protest. I think that’s a war.

Stop saying Obama didn’t have a scandal. You are a boot licker. And that’s exactly what we don’t need right now.
Obama did questionable things you should have cared more about. And now we’re going to be reaping more problems because you didn’t.

President Obama had more people at his inauguration because more were excited about him. Which means people were dumber about him.

Did the boycott of the inauguration work?

All of Trump’s executive orders and calls for drone strikes should note he didn’t have as many people as Obama at his inauguration.

I’m bracing for the Women’s March to be incoherent and pointless, but it’s a one day things and won’t go on for months like Occupy.

Phase 1: Protest
Phase 2: ??
Phase 3: Everything is good now

I think the popularity of protests as an agent of change is a big confusion of causation/correlation.

On the Trump presidency, I’m cautiously neutral.

so what are they trying to accomplish with the Women’s March?

The left aren’t going to be an effective opposition to Trump as long as the thing their offended most about him is that he’s a Republican.

The supposition is there’s some point to the march other than “Democrats don’t like Republicans” but haven’t heard it coherently expressed.

The crowd size thing is pointless… unless you have a fragile ego.

The Good Place finale was great. It’s the most serial sitcom I’ve seen – really interesting continuing story.

Maybe Jill Stein should raise money to do a crowd recount.

From these first few days, it looks like it’s going to be a petulant president covered by a petulant press stirring up a petulant opposition.
They should really all be friends. Horrible, horrible friends.

What would have stopped Trump even more than a march would have been speaking up when Obama was increasing executive power.

I estimate crowd size somewhere between 7 and MAX_INT.

I never knew crowd sizes were so important to democracy. Let’s count ‘me really carefully and write the number down somewhere and then…

So M. Night Shyamalan has a hit movie with a big twist at the end? Trump wasted no time in making America great again.

Finally saw Creed. Definitely best Rocky movie since the first.
Noticed they never mention specific of how Apollo Creed died since it’s from schlockiest Rocky movie and wouldn’t fit tone.
Anyway, Creed is a excellent new twist on the same plot that’s in every Rocky movie (but it’s a great plot!).

For me, politics is now like watching this sport where I intensely hate every team competing.
And whoever wins can kill and imprison people.

Kind of ironic that Richard Spencer is both a Nazi and a member of a small, powerless minority that people cheer on violence against.

Why we’re in trouble: Trump is the awfullest person elected president, but still most of the attacks on him are lies and partisan nonsense.

I’m scared of what Trump could do. And I’m scared the self-righteous left will be even worse when they next get power again.
And remember: The other side will always get power again.

People never give the government power believing people they despise will one day wield it, even though that always ALWAYS happens.
My one hope is that Trump being more blatant than usual will wake people up to this, but I’m not that hopeful.

The crowd sizes should only be significant to small minds… which is why Trump and the press won’t stop talking about it.

I don’t get what’s so interesting or significant about a White House Press Secretary blatantly lying.

Hard not to laugh at a Nazi getting punched, but it’s scary to see the left cheering on political violence as that’s not going anywhere good.

Favorite part of Rocky IV when knocked down Rocky motivates himself with all the money he’ll win, thus beating the Commie with capitalism.

I wish Episode VIII was instead called “The Final Jedi” so we could adapt that Europe song to be the theme.

So do we all get our own list of non-violent people with views so horrible it’s okay to punch them?

ME: “The media is just constantly lying about Trump.”
TRUMP: “Yeah, they’re always lying about me.”

For those who think it’s okay to punch Richard Spencer in the face, where’s the cutoff? Would it be okay to stab him as well? More?

Weird when I see I’m blocked by some random person I’ve never heard of. Who would block me? I’m lovable.
I guess this like how C.S. Lewis said hell is a place locked from the inside.

The people in Hollywood really liked the movie about Hollywood?

Glad video games don’t have the Hollywood problem or all award winning games would be ones where you play as heroic video game programmers.

I saw one of the best picture nominees this year! And I want to see at least one more. I’m sophisticated.

I’m rooting for Kubo to win best animated picture as it really deserved a bigger audience.
And it tried something much more different than the (admittedly excellent) Disney films.

Is “woke” another term for sociopath?

What if one of Trump’s nominees gets voted down in th Senate by a million illegal votes?

Maybe Trump means he plans to remove the citizenship of millions of people who voted.

Don’t worry, we’ll get back to being really concerned about climate change in 4 years. Maybe 8. Doubt it would be more than 12.

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And What Kind of Lunatic Would Post Things to Facebook for Free?

Germany is considering fining Facebook $500,000 every time it leaves a “fake news” story up without deleting it.

Coincidentally, the same amount the DNC pays them to post those.

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