Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s Most Important Accomplishment in These Last Few Days of His Administration Will Be…

[Submitted by Iowa Jim High Praise!]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama’s most important accomplishment in these last few days of his administration will be…

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32 Comments

  1. Obama’s most important accomplishment in these last few days of his administration will be…

    acquiring his very own Obamaphone

    exchanging a pardon for Clinton Foundation money to fund his lie-brary.

    a grudging new appreciation by comparison, for the uselessness that still is . . . Jimmy Carter

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  2. Obama’s most important accomplishment in these last few days of his administration will be…

    Finally getting that jug off his head.

    remembering where he hid his stash.

    fixing that hole in the wall in the Lincoln Bedroom.

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  3. Obama’s most important accomplishment in these last few days of his administration will be…

    giving Andrea Mitchell the 2016 Presidential Knee Pad Award

    declaring NBC a non-profit organization

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  4. Obama’s greatest last accomplishment will be:

    Getting those last Bonus Miles from his final trip on Air Force One!!!!!

    Leaving a final Dump on the Constitution in the middle of the Oval Office!!

    Using up all the ink in the presidential pens so Trump cannot issue any EOs!!!!

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  5. Obama’s most important accomplishment in these last few days of his administration will be…

    applying for unemployment, while signing an EO to use real unemployment numbers again starting January 21.

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  6. ….emptying the prisons, doubling the national debt, putting 1/3 of the country on welfare, ruining the ‘health care’ system, importing millions more illiterate criminals, giving nukes to terrorists, inciting his voters to commit even more crimes and collect even more welfare, calling everyone who doesn’t worship him a racist, calling all cops stupid, attempting to start WWIII….to name a few, you know, the usual.

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    • I’d blocked out the memory of his feet up on the Resolute Desk. As well as his latte salute. Remember that?

      The Resolute Desk: a genuinely magnanimous gesture from a classy country and ally. America’s chief executive officer’s reciprocation? A disc of his own speeches.

      “Oohhh I, I love the knight life,
      Now do you get that?
      Here’s a disc o’ my sound, yeah;
      Oh, I love the spotlight,
      You get to boogie
      On the disc o’ my sound, yeah.

      Please don’t talk about ISIS tonight
      Please don’t talk about Slick Willy, love;
      Please don’t talk about being true
      And all the problems we’ve been through.

      Ah, please don’t talk about all of the plans
      We had for fixin’ men-and-wymyn’s cans;
      I want to go where we make people dance
      Unilateral action . . .
      I want to live!”

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