The Illustrated Frank J: In Protests As In Comedy, Timing Is… Uh…


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Barking Down the Champs-Elysées

French officials told their citizens not to fear wolves that have recently been spotted roaming the streets of Paris.

Yes, very effective advice to a country that’s been known to surrender to stray chihuahuas.

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About Time Liberals Got the Help They Needed

[Submitted by Slapout (High Praise!)]

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Link of the Day: When Women Have the Same Rights As Guns

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Gun Rights Across America Give PERFECT Response To Woman’s “Same Rights As Guns” Sign!

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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This Is Why Obama Wanted China to Be Our Friends

China plans to develop a super super computer by the end of the year, a machine capable of a billion, billion calculations per second.

One more “super” and it could calculate the debt Obama racked up.

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Straight Line of the Day: Former President Obama Offered President Trump Some Advice…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Former President Obama offered President Trump some advice

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When She Passes, I Will Dance

A Canadian think tank called Jane Fonda “an environmental hypocrite” for protesting Canada’s oil sands petroleum industry.

Nah, she doesn’t travel using fossil fuels. She flies by riding Vietnamese anti-aircraft rounds.

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Random Thoughts: Immigration and Gorsuch

Trump is controlling the messaging of Twitter accounts under his control? This is… what’s the opposite of unprecedented?

Good you’re critical of the power Trump wields, but if you’re not going to be just as critical with the next Obama, you’re less than useless.

So what accomplished more? The inauguration boycott or the Women’s March?

Feds show up in Chicago. One man in a black suit pulls out a bullhorn
“Come on, guys! Stop shooting each other!”

It’s good to be angry at Trump. But try harder to be angry at the right things instead of any stupid partisan thing.

Good to know. There’s an unstated limit to how many voicemails your iPhone can hold and there’s no notification when that limit is reached.

You can say lots of negative (and true) things about the wall, but “violates civil liberties”? Why is Trump’s opposition so dumb?

Mexico may try to knock down our wall. When we build it, we shouldn’t tell them where it is.

Didn’t like 1984 as much as Animal Farm. There were a few parts of 1984 I found a little silly.

When you refuse to distinguish between legal and illegal immigration, you harm the cause and make yourself look like a weasel.
Making no distinction between legal and illegal immigration is implicitly arguing for open borders. If you want that explicitly argue for it.

We haven’t even finished the first week. I don’t know how we’re going to last the first one hundred days at this pace.

“Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper! We should all try it!” -Donald Trump tweet during commercial break on FOX News

Watching old He-Man with kids and just realized how bizarre it is that no one can recognize He-Man if he’s wearing a shirt.
“Adam, ever noticed how you’re same size as He-Man, and have same face, hair, and voice? Can’t imagine He-Man with a pink vest, though.”
What if Prince Adam goes swimming at the palace? What happens then?
And doesn’t the cartoon lose its whole point now that there’s no toys to buy?

When I was a kid, Santa got me Castle Grayskull. It was pretty awesome.
My parents told me they weren’t sure if Santa would have enough material to make Castle Grayskulls, but they were wrong. Stupid parents.

If you want modern people to support Nazi-like behavior, convince them who you’re doing it against are Nazis.

How are we going to deport illegal immigrants if there’s a big wall in the way? No one is thinking this through.

Democrats, you have four years to find one of your own who is not stupid and horrible. I don’t have any suggestions yet.

Pretending the Doomsday Clock has any significance whatsoever is anti-science.

This rally around the parks service is idiotic. Of all things to get worked up over, controlling the messaging of a govt agency is not one.

I’m getting worried because the opposition to Trump continues to be so so stupid.
Of course, we’ve been going at him for over a year and no one knows his weakness yet. Still, people are doubling down on old failed things.

Man, I miss the carefree 80s when all we had to worry about was getting nuked by the Soviets or snatched by the monster from the Upside Down.

It can be clunky at times, but C++ is my favorite language for its combination of object oriented programming and low-level memory access.
It never quite feels like real programming without pointers.
But, man, I instantly miss modern languages any time I have to deal with strings.

I try to avoid scripting languages. I know people love them, but they always feeling like playing in the kiddie pool to me.
And I avoid dealing with JavaScript as much as I can. It’s a big stupid garbage fire.
And I hope every programmer learns a little assembly. It’s what every language is at the end of the day, and it’s important to understand.

Resist? When did you sist in the first place?

If I have a vote, I’m not for making the stuff I buy more expensive to pay for a wall I don’t care about.

What makes stopping illegal immigration hard is same thing that fails most left-wing policies: You’re directly fighting against economics.

“Those Russian mobsters killed my cat!”
shrugs. goes back to bed
-John Wick 2

Why can’t the two sides just be called “anti-abortion” and “pro-abortion”? Seems like it would make things clearer.

FDR is often considered one of the great presidents, but shouldn’t the internment of the Japanese by itself be enough to disqualify him?

I think we should help refugees. We’re a big country and we have nothing to fear since we all have guns.

Unbreakable is my favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie, though I also love the spinoff Unbreakable: Kimmy Schmidt.

Do you chug a Mountain Dew before doing Extreme Vetting?

  1. Trump does something legitimately bad.
  2. There is an overblown, fact-free partisan freak out about it.
    Repeat next 4-8 years.

If I were president, I’d wear pajamas in the Oval Office. That’s one of the advantages of working from home.

All my kids’ outside play involves pretending to play different video games.

Sounds like Trump’s executive orders need some extreme vetting.

I don’t know how we keep this all up for 207 more weeks of the Trump presidency (minimum).

Weird seeing the president tweet negatively about “bad dudes” when in the 80s they were his last line of defense.
Him and the bad dudes should go out and get a burger.

I may not agree with President Trump, but if he were kidnapped by ninjas, I would punch my way to rescuing him.

No problems with Windows 10, but it’s like Windows 8 was specifically designed to be confusing to both new and experienced users.

It looks like the Trump presidency will be him picking lots of dumb fights. Well, it worked for him as a candidate.

Trump’s opponents have a pretty good grasp on how unappealing Trump is, but they keep underestimating how unappealing they are.

I don’t know how you pronounce “Gorsuch,” but anytime I see it I keep thinking of that thing Goofy exclaims.

People are not pacing their freak outs. This can’t last.

Just saw that Billy Dee Williams will be voicing Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the Lego Batman Movie. That’s awesome.

My only concern for a Secretary of Education is that she’s ready to lead the survivors if Cylons attack our home world.

I always tense up when armed men in ski masks enter a bank because I don’t want to hear the tale of how they got bronze in the biathlon.

What’s best way to get my “Nuke the Moon” proposal to President Trump? Should I wrap a bacon cheeseburger in it and give it to Bannon?

We’re a week and a half into the new administration and I’m still writing “President Obama” on all my checks and balances.

The only way to end a filibuster is to wrest control of the Talking Stick and throw it into the Capitol’s furnace.

I don’t know if the controversial DeVos is going to be as popular an Education Secretary as whosit under Obama and whatshisface from Bush.

The Supreme Court is dumb.

A lot of people drop out of the SCOTUS race when they find out they have to read the Constitution which is really boring and 6 pages long.
And there’s no bullet point lists or colorful charts to break up the text. Really amateurish writing.
Constitution a bit like a software license agreement in that no one has actually read it. All the Founders scrolled to bottom and hit Agree.

Gorsuch is extreme and dangerous. He once did a kick flip over a highway.

If Gorsuch gets on the court, he will end women’s rights. If women want rights, they’ll need to buy a fake mustache which can cost $7 and up.

The court needs to fill that vacancy before they render their important verdict on whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

Ask if Gorsuch likes the Constitution. Didnt come out until after confirmation that RGB said, “If the Constitution had a face, I would punch it.”

I think it worked. Everyone has already forgotten the last thing they outraged over about Trump.
Oh yeah. He punched a baby.

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