The Illustrated Frank J: If We Were ACTUALLY Fascist, We’d Act All Offended and Insist You Refer to Us As “The F-Word”

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Save Me From Life’s Drab Torture

Tesla CEO Elon Musk is preparing to unveil new computers that can be fitted directly into the human brain.

Yes, why should you have to pull your phone out of your pocket and look at it with your eyes like some kind of savage?

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Here’s What Honest Opposition to Cracking Down on Illegal Immigration Would Sound Like (You’ll Never Hear This)

[High Praise! to Scott Adams’ Blog]

I understand that the likely cost in American lives will range between zero and several thousand dead and wounded over the next ten years. On top of that, I recognize that the families of the victims are destroyed at the same time, so perhaps 100,000 people will be adversely affected by looser immigration of the type I favor. I accept that risk to maintain the rights of non-Americans to immigrate here and to preserve the national character of the United States as a nation of immigrants. I also think it makes it easier to combat terrorism because it makes us look like less of an enemy to Islam.

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Link of the Day: Satire – Trump Reveals Plans To Build Bridge With Russia; Insists Putin Will Pay Later

[High Praise! to The Burrard Street Journal]

Trump Reveals Plans To Build Bridge With Russia; Insists Putin Will Pay Later

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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It Was a Good Party. It Will Be Missed…

New research shows that your life really does flash before your eyes before you die.

Guess that means the entire Democrat Party is watching the “Hillary Lost” movie on endless loop.

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Court Rules Obama Must Tear Down Wall Around House

"Gonna tear down that wall like a Pink Floyd Concert"

“Gonna tear down that wall like a Pink Floyd Concert

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) – Citing the 9th Circuit Court’s ruling that President Trump’s temporary Muslim travel ban was unconstitutional, the DC Court of Appeals ruled that former President Obama’s new house on the fashionable west side of Washington DC must tear down its outside perimeter security wall.

In his opinion, Judge Robert L. Wilkins explained the wall’s impermissibility.

“While Mr. Obama certainly has a right to feel safe in his own house on his own property,” said Wilkins, “under the Equal Protection Clause, he has no right to deny anyone else – regardless of race, creed, color, national origin, or sexual preference – that same right to also feel safe in his house. A wall is like a Safety Nazi wagging his finger and saying ‘no safety for you!‘. That is not what America’s constitution is all about.”

In his dissent, Judge A. Raymond Randolph argued that the President’s safety should take precedence, pointing out that “we spend millions on Secret Service agents to keep this putz alive. We can’t let people into without the extremest of vetting, or at least a sizable donation to the DNC.”

Judge Wilkins, writing for the majority of the 5-judge panel, dismissed that argument out of hand.

“There is no evidence that anyone has ever actually tried to kill or even harm President Obama,” Wilkins wrote. “The only conclusion we can draw from this fact is that no one ever will. Therefore it would be a gross violation of civil rights to assign the guilt of malicious intent to people who have committed no crime or voted for Donald Trump. This nation believes in the bedrock principle of ‘innocent until proven guilty or Republican.'”

Former President Obama declined to comment on the situation, but a senior staff member said two words on condition of anonymity:

“‘Gator moat.”

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Straight Line of the Day: President Trump Gave America a Valentine…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Trump gave America a valentine…

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You KNOW Who’s to Blame for Every Government Problem Now

A new report shows that secret FBI rules set up in 2013 allow agents to obtain journalists’ phone records just by getting approval from two internal officials.

That’s terrible! How did Trump trick Obama into approving that?

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