The Illustrated Frank J: So Liberals’ Plan Is to Purposely Do Nothing Instead of Devising a Superior Alternative? Thats New.

[source]

Judging from the drawing, a good alternative name would be “scumbags in scarves”.

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I Thought They Were Just Fastidious

[Why cartoon characters wear gloves] (Viewer #3,258,968)

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If We Go Union… Don’t Ask…

A new report shows that a Mexican border wall could be built in just two years.

Less, if we hire all the illegals at border town Home Depots.

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Trump’s Wall – Upgraded

[Submitted by slapout (High Praise!)]

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Link of the Day: Satire – Islamic State Reaffirms Desire to Kill All Humanity, Not Just Americans, Despite Trump’s Provocations

[High Praise! to The Red Shtick]

Islamic State Reaffirms Desire to Kill All Humanity, Not Just Americans, Despite Trump’s Provocations

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wait… How Do We Know This Story’s Real?

A new study shows that “fake news” had no measurable effect on last November’s election results.

Well… there goes MSNBC’s business model.

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CNN, MSNBC, WaPo, NYTimes Vote to Impeach Trump

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) – In a suprise move, all of the major cable news networks except Fox News and a strong majority of the nation’s daily newspapers – including the Washington Post and New York Times – have voted to impeach President Donald J. Trump.

"You... in the back... the homeless guy who just wandered in off the street... ask me a question

“You… in the back… the homeless guy who just wandered in off the street… ask me a question”

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews hailed the vote as “a victory for the little guy, a victory for common sense.”

“Trump waves his money around like he’s king of the world,” said Matthews. “but he’s actually like that French king Marty Antoinette. Now, Trump’s not getting the electric chair like Marty did, but we’re still kicking him out of office.”

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer was equally thrilled by the vote’s outcome.

“Well, I actually voted to impeach Bush, but apparently my vote didn’t count because he’s not President anymore. I’ve never felt so disenfranchised. Still, after all of Trump’s hate crimes and hate speech and hate pizza ordering, it’s about time America got some justice.”

The New York Times did not return inquiring phone calls, as the entire editorial staff was embroiled in a violent civil war over whether the headline should be “Trump Bumped” or “Trump Dumped”.

When asked why Trump was being impeached, the Washington Post’s Erik Wemple made a kissed-a-lemon face and explained “Did you SEE him at his press conference with Trudeau? He called on some stupid blogger instead of one of the REAL reporters from a fair and objective news organization, like the ones that voted to impeach him.”

Fox’s Tucker Carlson had a different explanation.

“You DO know that actual impeachment is when the House of Representatives votes on charges of high crimes and misdemeanors as provided for in the Constitution, right? What Wolf and his buddies did matters less than Hillary’s popular vote total. I think they were just desperate for the chance to write a story that didn’t involve quoting a Trump tweet.”

Which they may have to do anyway, as Mr. Trump recently posted “Media impeachment? Not actually a thing. #polidiots”, which hashtag is now #1 in “trending”.

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Straight Line of the Day: The Most Awkward Moment During President Trump’s Press Conference with the Canadian Prime Minister…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most awkward moment during President Trump’s press conference with the Canadian Prime Minister

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Random Thoughts: Elizabeth Warren and Rogue One

A Senator can’t impugn the character of another Senator? So no rap battles?

I didn’t know you could right-click on a Chrome tab to mute it. This changes EVERYTHING!
What I need next is a way to search my tabs when I have a hundred tabs open.

New rule: You’re only allowed to get outraged by three things Trump does per day. It’s smart to wait until the end of the day to pick.

Senators can’t say bad things about each other because of the rule about insults and can’t say nice things because of the rule about lying.

I’m very torn on this Elizabeth Warren thing because I like it both when:
1) Politicians are insulted
2) Politicians are shut upped

Accusations against Sessions no chance of gaining attention. “Democrats accuse Republican of racism” is a setting on white noise machines.

“So did politics get any smarter today?”
sees rich, privileged partisan hack propped up as feminist hero
“No, continues the other way.”

Much of politics is elevating mediocrity to sainthood. But mediocrity is all you have to work with among elected officials.

For Valentines Day, we finally saw Rogue One. Because that’s the kind of romantic I am.

Rallying behind Elizabeth Warren is just as dumb as rallying behind Trump. The solution to Trump isn’t new stupidity.
Though lionizing rich, mediocre people as champions is kind of an old stupidity in politics.

Trump controls the people who hate him even more than his supporters.

Can’t believe Trump appointed an Attorney General who didn’t first serve as an Attorney Colonel.

Twitter needs a permanent “What Trump just said” at the top so you can understand what everyone is all riled up about.

When you put the government in charge of something, remember that every so often the government will be run by people you despise.

Lucky I got my wife a Tile for her car keys. She somehow got them in the bottom of the kitchen trash.

Elizabeth Warren is most obvious phony on the left since John Edwards, but let’s rally behind her lies about being Cherokee to defeat Trump!

The problem with all the focus on Trump he is not the core of what’s wrong with politics and government.
When Trump is gone, things will not get magically better. On current trajectory, it might get worse.

We’re in for a 4 year long competition between Trump’s biggest supporters and Trump’s biggest detractors for who can be the absolute worst.
The president will be competing as well.

Most of politics is explaining why your hate is justified unlike everyone else’s.

People are still singing and making music? I thought that fad was over.

Is it now the official policy of the Democratic Party that there is no difference between legal and illegal immigration?

What’s Twitter like when you mute all mentions of Trump? Peaceful like a meadow, or spooky like a ghost town?

“They’re firing people who have Russian ties!”
checks necktie
sees it was made in China
breathes sigh of relief

Finally saw Rogue One. It was Star War-riffic!
They can quote me on that on the front of the DVD release.

So I spent Valentine’s Day debating with my wife whether Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor had a romantic interest in each other. I thought they were just close in the end as Comrades in war.

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Put on a Happy Face

New research shows that you can overcome depression simply by standing up straight.

And here I thought the key to happiness was marching and littering in DC.

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Cartoon of the Day – Leaks

20170215LisaBenson
[Lisa Benson – GoComics]

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