Monday Night Open Thread

Pain. I’m in pain.

But you didn’t come to hear me complain. Or maybe you did. Some of you seem to take pleasure in other people’s pain. Not all of you. But a couple of you. You know who I’m talking about.

Actually, you don’t, and I know that. It’s the pain talking. I apologize. I may talk more in depth about the pain at another time. It’s a recent thing, and doc says it shouldn’t last much longer. It’s just not a suitable topic for this post, since this post isn’t about me. It’s about you.

It’s Monday Night Open Thread. You determine what we talk about. Or listen to you BMC about something. Ot tell a joke. Or share a link. Or whatever.

Who wants to start.

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I’ve Never Heard Anyone Arguing the Opposite, So I’m Not Sure What His Point Is

Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez spoke at a rally outside of the White House, saying “no human being is illegal“.

I’ll remember that next time a Democrat demands Trump be thrown in jail.

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Yet Another Reason to Be Suspicious When People Claim Things Cause Other Things

[Regression to the Mean] (Viewer #1,348,314)

I took a statistics course in college. I don’t remember covering this topic. But what he’s saying makes perfect sense.

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Link of the Day: This Is Probably the Perfect Metaphor for the Left’s Big-Government Solutions to Global Warming

[Dinosaur Comics]

Jupiter Is in Trouble

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Because It Couldn’t Possibly Be a Spending Problem

In Europe, Austria is trying to figure out a way to tax Google searches.

They ever tried that in America, we’d be tossing things into harbors. Possibly the bureaucrats trying to write the law.

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Wait… You Mean It’s Not About the Cake?

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Colbert Fired Over Shocking Trump Remarks

There’s a giant hook coming for me from the side of the stage, isn’t there?

NEW YORK (AP) – The CBS television network has announced that Stephen Colbert has been fired from his position as host of “The Late Show” over controversial remarks that he made about President Donald Trump.

Late Show producer Chris Licht said that the move was “unavoidable”.

“CBS is in the business of entertainment, and if you offend your viewers, they stop watching, then nobody advertises on the show. Nobody advertises, we don’t make any money, which – as anyone who doesn’t work for the government knows – isn’t a viable business model. Colbert had to go because I like eating and making my Ferrari payments.”

Long-time Colbert associate, Jon Stewart, while shocked, said he still couldn’t fault CBS’s decision.

“As comedians, when people say ‘don’t cross the line’, we like to respond ‘there’s a line?,'” said Stewart, “but we know darn well there’s a line. There are just some things you don’t say in public. Even if those things are true. Like the fact that it’s been decades and so far no one has figured out that I’m actually Rush Limbaugh. But I’d never say that out loud because, even though it’s true, I’d lose my entire audience if they ever found out. My career would be over. This interview’s off the record, right?”

During a post-firing televised press conference, a subdued and apologetic Colbert tried to make belated amends to his fans.

“I admit that it was wildly inappropriate to say what I said, and until it was out of my mouth, I didn’t realize how offensive it was. I thought people would just giggle awkwardly and let it go. I was wrong. And I would like to formally apologize for saying ‘maybe Trump’s not such a bad guy after all.'”

The final remark brought a slew of hurled tomatoes, lettuce heads, and tofu burgers before Colbert was hurried offstage and whisked away to an undisclosed locations.

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Straight Line of the Day: France Elected a New President, Whose First Official Act…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

France elected a new President, whose first official act…

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The Illustrated Frank J: They Used a Math Symbol! I’ll Bet They Love Science, Too!

[title reference link]

[source]

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The Joy of Pedantic Nitpickery

At the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, veteran reporter Bob Woodward sent a message directed to President Trump, saying “the media is not fake news.”

True. The stories they report are.

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Cartoon of the Day – Colbert


[A.F. Branco]

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