MENLO PARK (AP) – A recent much-publicized effort by Facebook to stop the spread of “fake news” on its social media pages turned out to be nothing more than fake news propagated by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg as a cheap PR stunt.
“After I found out ‘#fakenews’ was trending on Twitter – not that I read Twitter… nobody should read Twitter… Don’t read Twitter! – I decided I could sorta ‘ride the wave’ and get some free publicity,” explained Zuckerberg. “It’s a meaningless phrase anyway, and my ‘trying to stop it’ is mostly just cover for banning people I don’t like. Like racists, Tea Party dweebs, Trumpers, and Albanians – that last one’s a long story, but suffice it to say that this close to getting Jim Belushi deported.
Zuckerberg explain, that although it started as a joke, it quickly got out of hand.
“Facebook just kept publishing more and more ridiculous items,” continued Zuckerberg, “and nobody said anything. Eventually, I just thought ‘why not just keep posting increasingly ridiculous things until people finally get that we’re pulling their legs, then we all have a good chuckle & go back to the serious?’ Next thing I know Trump’s President, and 90% of my revenue depends on lies about him or from him and I can’t let the truth come out anymore. Then I realized that people love to believe fake news, so I made up a story about cracking down on it. Sure enough. They bought that, too.”
I don’t know why anybody is surprised by this,” said Zuckerberg. “I mean, it’s all over the internet that Facebook is an unreliable gossip-factory that’s lousy with made-up stories, then people are shocked – SHOCKED! – that the unsourced stories that all point in the direction of making Facebook’s credibility problem go away are – get this – also made-up stories. Good heavens! These gullibidiots are probably shocked when cows go ‘moo'”.