Wednesday Night Open Thread

Are you ready?

Are you up for this?

It’s all on you, you know. It’s Wednesday Night Open Thread. It’s your turn to share a story, tell a lie, tell a joke, or offer meaningful commentary. Or not. You get to decide. The floor is yours.

Who wants to start?

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Doing the Jobs American Dolphins Won’t Do

Now being used to collect intel: robots disguised as dolphins.

So… how DO you say “so long and thanks for all the fish” in binary?

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Even If I Had 1000 Mousetraps and 4 Hours to Kill, I *Still* Wouldn’t Try This at Home

[Diving into 1000 Mousetraps in 4K Slow Motion – The Slow Mo Guys] (Viewer #10,799,224)

Weirdly, the aspect of this I enjoyed most was when his hand hit the trampoline, it went down, but all the mousetraps stayed exactly where they were due to inertia.

THEN they all start going off in midair.

Anyway, it’s pretty much just aimless chatter after the 4:50 mark, so feel free to check out as soon as you get bored.

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Link of the Day: Satire – Hipster on Hipster Violence Threatens Brighton Beach

[High Praise! to NewsBiscuit via HumorFeed]

Hipster on Hipster violence threatens Brighton Beach

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Or Just Ungerrymander Her District

Now appearing in her congressional district: “Impeach Maxine Waters” street art.

Sadly, most of her constituents read it and think “that’s my favorite kind of pie”.

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Pfffft! Like They’ll Stop Looking at Their Phones Long Enough to Do Drugs

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Straight Line of the Day: 92% of CNN’s Airtime Is Spent Talking About Trump. The Other 8%…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

92% of CNN’s airtime is spent talking about Trump. The other 8%…

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The Illustrated Frank J: When Government Acts, It’s to Give Someone the Short End of a Stick They’d Never Willingly Take for Themselves

[source]

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China, Please Curb Your Dog

North Korea’s latest missile test landed just 60 miles south of Vladivostok.

60 more miles and a nuke, and Kim will be able to see Russia from his house.

[reference link]

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Random Thoughts: Trying to Keep Up with the Trump Presidency

Better Call Saul is in many ways different than Breaking Bad, but I enjoy it just as much. An absolutely superb show.
And why does the ending of each episode always catch me off guard? It’s like most shows would have one scene more.
One of my favorite things in Better Call Saul are the minimal dialog mysteries of “What is Mike up to?”

Seems like there has to be a way to fire a guy everyone wants fired without it being controversial.

It’s hard to tell if he’s winning at 3D chess or losing at 2D tic-tac-toe.

Kinda seems like Trump missed his calling of writing explainer pieces for Vox.

“Mr. President, what are you doing?”
“It’s a brand new thing I invented I’m calling ‘huffing paint.'”

Trump has to be our absolute worst president until the next one.

I’m still kinda unclear on how upset to get about the terrible president firing the terrible FBI director for terrible reasons.

Instead of “priming the pump,” Trump should’ve claimed he invented the phrase “laughing up their sleeves.” More would believe him.

My prediction for 2020 is Trump will go into the election with an approval in the mid 20s and will win in a landslide.

It’s happening!

Opening sentence subject to change.

When Americans are used to showing photo IDs for a hundred minor things, it’s a tough sell to say you shouldn’t have to do that for voting.

I was going to do a tweet like “Trump has been indicted… in crazyland ” but it’s hard to imagine crazyland without president Trump.

Let’s save impeachment for if Trump ever gets boring. Right now, we already have a pretty full news cycle.

The sealed indictment is a Trump trap. If you open it, it says, “Whoever is reading this is now indicted.”

It is becoming a bit of epidemic with all the homeless Millennials trying to kick an avocado toast habit.

Well, Trump means well.[citation needed]

With these type stories it’s always a 50/50 chance that either
A) Trump is that horrible
B) It’s a nothingburger blown up by Trump haters

The Russian story has been completely debunked. There’s no such thing as a “President Trump.” It makes no sense. How would that even happen?

Maybe there should be a Dwane Johnsons/Chris Pratt ticket. Don’t talk issues; just win on sheer likability.

That Zelda may have been one of the best games ever made, but the new Mario Kart really shows off the Switch’s strengths.
It really is a magic trick to go between playing it multiplayer on 1080p on a big screen to popping it out and playing it in handheld mode.
And that you can set it down anywhere and slide off the two side controller for multiplayer Mario Kart is pretty awesome.
To me, the convenience of the Switch is worth the graphics trade off (and it’s not like the games aren’t beautiful).
I’m hoping 3rd party support picks up. I want a Call of Duty I can play while lying comfortably in bed.

Overall, the Trump presidency is going about as well as could be reasonably expected.

He needs to hold out at least two months longer if I’m going to win the “How Long Will a Trump Presidency Last” pool.

With this whole Comey memo thing, someone – either Trump or the media – is going to lose what tiny bit of credibility they had left.

Trump lucked out; he accidentally gave all of Comey’s memos to visiting Russians.

Know what’s a fun fantasy right now? President Romney. Bland, boring Romney.
Sure, partisan Dems would still find a reason to call him worse than Hitler, but the rest of us would just be chillin’.
Alas, we’ve decided to live in interesting times. Oh the stories we’ll have to tell our grandkids!

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Cartoon of the Day – Search


[Dana Summers – GoComics]

Remember when History Channel used to have shows about history instead of Bigfoot and aliens? Remember when news shows had actual news? Yeah, it’s been a while for both.

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