Tuesday Night Open Thread

I’ve been watching the unriffed versions of movies that appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000. That’s a tough project.

What’s a tougher project is what Shout Factory is trying to do in regards to releasing the remaining MST3K episodes. There are only 13 or 14 episodes that have never been released (14 never on DVD, with 1 previously VHS-only).

SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT

Yeah, I wrote more about it over at my little blog.

For now, it’s your challenge. Come up with something funny, clever, interesting, or, heck, just plain lame. It’s your turn, after all. It’s Tuesday Night Open Thread.

Who wants to start?

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We Know What You Are, Now We’re Just Haggling Over the Price

At a commencement speech, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg called for people to be guaranteed a universal basic income.

They already are… it’s zero.

[title reference link]

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Surprisingly, “Calibrating Your Force Transducer” Is NOT a Quote from Geordi LaForge

[World’s Heaviest Weight] (Viewer #2,173,359)

I love that I live in a civilization so advanced that it’s worth paying the money for a mostly-useless thing like this to exist because the one purpose it serves is so incredibly valuable.

I wouldn’t trade it for all the rainforest mud huts in the world.

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Link of the Day: I Like #5 Because the Virgin Birth Angle Was the Third-Worst Bit of Scriptwriting Behind Midichlorians and Jar-Jar

[High Praise! to Mental Floss]

8 Star Wars Questions We Still Need Answered

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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According to Star Trek, This Doesn’t Happen Until the 25th Century

A baldness cure may be coming, as scientists in California have discovered immune cells that trigger hair growth.

Well… that beats my idea: feminist leg-hair toupees.

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Not Satire – This Is Why Those 9 Words Are So Terrifying

The government ordered all the Confederate flags removed from a Civil War museum:

the museum’s directors cited the request by District 2 Commissioner Dee Clemmons that all Confederate flags be removed from the museum, in addition to the gift shop, “in an effort not to offend anyone.”

The museum decided to close:

…without that symbol, the Nash Farm Battlefield and Museum announced that it can’t conduct its mission properly and will close June 1.

“To exclude any Confederate flag would mean the historical value has been taken from our exhibits, and a fair interpretation could not be presented to each guest,” the post read. “Confederate flags were on this hallowed ground, as were the Union flags. To remove either of them would be a dishonor.”

Consequences:

The museum property, which is owned by the county, included a large collection of artifacts and exhibits that were owned by private citizens. [who chose to remove his property from the museum]

and the punchline:

“Henry County in no way asked them to remove their things,” county spokeswoman Melissa Robinson told Channel 2 Action News. “We did not request that. It was a voluntary move to leave the museum.”

And that’s how government rolls: burn down your house, then blame you for choosing not to continue dwelling on the ash heap.

Exit question: Why would someone who’s offended by Confederate flags visit a Civil War museum?

[title reference link]

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Straight Line of the Day: The Founder of Google Is Planning to Build to World’s Biggest…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The founder of Google is planning to build the world’s biggest

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The Illustrated Frank J: Cold Medicine… Freaking COLD MEDICINE!

[source]

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So… Does He Think West Germany Built the Berlin Wall?

While standing behind a 20-foot-high security barricade in Germany, former President Obama criticized President Trump by saying “we can’t hide behind a wall“.

Obviously Obama’s never played “Call of Duty”.

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