Here’s a quiz:

Which one of these videos is a sketch from Saturday Night Live, and which is a video of a real-life event?

Video number one:

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Video number two:

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Could you tell?

Both are funny, but for different reasons.

One is an Academy Award-winning actor playing a dumbass who has no concept of numbers. The other is a United States president actually being a dumbass who has no concept of numbers, saying that insurance rates would go down 3-thousand percent under his plan.

Comedy writers could imagine the first. No one could imagine the second. Except it’s real. Sadly, sadly real.

But it does help explain why I’ve been saying that everyone who voted for Obama is a dumbass.

The reports of Obama’s “womanly” leadership made the rounds yesterday. Michelle Malkin has a report, plus a roundup from others covering the story.

In case you missed it, here’s the excerpt … followed by video evidence that it’s not just his leadership that’s “womanly”…

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Video sources: Daily Beast video, Schnittshow, Associated Press, iOwnTheWorld

Also: The Javelina Bomb has a related Top Ten (plus the inspiration for the video)

Ever notice that some people seem to be the inspiration for certain characters on television? No? Well, then, you aren’t paying attention.

For example, several Futurama characters seem to have been inspired by leaders in the Democrat party…

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I’m sure there are many other TV characters that are based on politicians. Aren’t there?

Presidents have their advisers. The current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue listens to David Axelrod.

I don’t see how he does it. Of course, I don’t see how anyone can listen to Barack Obama, either. And maybe that’s it. The two of them have been listening to the same nonsense for so long, it’s normal for them.

But, I found a way to make Axelrod tolerable…

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Audio source can be seen in context here.

Yes, we just had the 2009 Academy Awards. But, it is 2010. And here is a clip for the early front-runner for next year’s Best Picture award.

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In theatres Date. This film has not yet been rated.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA-8) says she wants the health care bill passed so we can see what’s in it.

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Tip: Don Surber

Yes, she actually said:

But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it

[Full transcript]

Why can’t she tell us? Because she doesn’t know? Because she hasn’t read it?

Well, there’s something in it. At around 2,074 pages — remember, they’re going to vote on the Senate bill — there has to be lots of stuff.

But what is in the bill that Pelosi is so excited about?

• Funding to provide all families with a cat spa
• The Compleat Works of William Shakespeare
• The Third Secret of Fátima
• An icebox fruitcake recipe
• The script to the Lost series finale
• Obama’s birth certificate
• The completed final draft of Midnight Sun
• The Klingon Bible

What else might be in there?

And now a word from our sponsor…

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Tip: The New Editor

How can Congress possibly balance the federal budget without raising taxes?

It’s easy. Make Congress make up for any shortfall in the budget. Take it out of their pay. Cut Congressional pay (House and Senate) for every dollar the budget is in deficit.

What about the president? Well, if he vetoed the deficit budget, he’s off the hook. If he signed it, he’s liable. Dock his pay, too.

Now, what happens if the deficit is more than the pay of Congress? As is the current situation? Congress is on the hook for the balance. Personally. If Congressman A has twice wealth as Congressman B, he’s responsible for twice as much of the deficit.

When that still doesn’t cover the deficit, spread the debt around to other members of the government, exempting military pay only.

If Congress tries to get around it by raising taxes, count every tax increase as deficit money, and cut Congressional pay accordingly.

I learned a long time ago, that if someone had the solution to a problem, but had no interest in solving the problem, it was because it didn’t personally affect them; it wasn’t their problem.

Make it their problem.

On ABC’s This Week, George Will used the words of Robert Reich to highlight the liberal mindset on healthcare … and everything else, for that matter (tip: Flopping Aces).

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[Full video at ABC]

Will: You say they have huge profits. As you know, confiscate all the profits of all the health insurance companies, with those profits you could finance our healthcare for 48 hours. What you do for the next 363 days I don’t know. Second, you say there’s not enough competition? Fine, let them compete in a national market across state lines.

Reich: Yes, let them compete across state lines, fine. But not a race to the bottom. Set minimum federal standards because we’ve seen over and over again that the recipients of health insurance don’t know what they are buying very often. Until there are common standards, minimal standards, then people are going to be taken. And that is what’s happened over and over again.

Will: There you have the premise of this legislation and the core of today’s liberalism: the American people are such dopes they can’t be counted upon to buy their own insurance.

Transcription from: NewsBusters

Once again, George Will sums things up nicely.

Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY-29) is resigning over charges he sexually harassed a male staff member.

Never one to miss the opportunity to joke about a homosexual sex scandal involving a married politician, Tonight Show host Jay Leno included this in his monologue.

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Oops! My bad. Silly me for thinking Leno would make a joke about a Democrat U.S. Congressman in a sex scandal, rather than a Republican state politician.

But, no, there’s no bias on NBC.

Violence isn’t always the solution to a bully. Sometimes making them look like an ass works just fine…

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Tip: blonde sagacity]

This is an excellent example of the preferred way to treat the left.

“Have you pantsed a liberal today?”

Nick Jacob snapped some photos Thursday at a protest at the University of Washington (tip: Gateway Pundit). Here’s my favorite:

More pictures are here.

There is a product called PetSpa (tip: Barking Moonbat Early Warning System). And that name pretty much sums it up.

Here it is in action:

[Direct link]

That is so wrong. Yes, I laughed. Out loud. But it’s still wrong.

I’m sure the people that invented this thing were sitting around, thinking this was a good idea. And that poor cat trusted the person that placed it in the PetSpa.

Only, the cat got a rude surprise. And pretty early on figured out it didn’t like what was happening. But there was nothing it could do about it. The makers of the PetSpa, and the owner of the cat, decided it was best.

They’ll try that again on that cat. Only, I suspect that, unless they’ve de-clawed that cat, they next time they try it, the cat with have its on rude surprise.

I wonder if I could use this as an analogy to anything?

Obama is a socialist.

You’re a liar!

Obama is a socialist.

You’re a racist!

Obama is a socialist.

You hate the poor.

Obama is a socialist.

You just hate Obama.

Obama is a socialist.

We have to help others.

Obama is a socialist.

Bush did some of the same stuff.

Obama is a socialist.

The Founding Fathers weren’t capitalists!

Obama is a socialist.

Socialism is good.

The Associated Press is reporting that Friday’s unemployment report will be … bad (tip: Don Surber). But the administration says it’s the weather’s fault. (At least it’s not the climate’s fault.) The AP calls shenanigans.

The report can’t just be dismissed. Once the snow effect is filtered out, they say the data will still signal weak hiring: Little if any job growth, and an unemployment rate predicted to rise to 9.8 percent or more from 9.7 percent.

While everyone’s getting their panties in a wad over the number of unemployed, they don’t realize that there is an easy way to solve the unemployment problem.

Make more people lose their jobs.

Now, sure, this sounds like a Barack Obama solution. He’s one to address a problem of too much government by having more government.

But, this isn’t the same thing. You see, I’m thinking that we could get more people back to work if a few certain select people joined the ranks of the unemployed. I can think of 257 people that need to lose their jobs, and things will get better.

Wait! I just thought of 59 more!

This will work.

You’re welcome.

Jim Teacher posted this video by OK Go:

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It reminded me of this from a Mythbusters Christmas special:

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If you don’t know who Rube Goldberg is, there is this video from 1940 that might help explain. You’ll probably get bored about half-way through…

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On teh internets … particularly teh Twitteh … the cool kids like to pick on teh MSNBC.

When they do, I have to open a browser tab and hit teh Google to find out what they’re talking about.

You see, I don’t watch MSNBC. ‘Cause it sucks.

I mean, I have seen bits of it. And I’ve seen clips on teh YouTube. And you know what? Them folks on MSNBC are nuts. If they got any denser, they’d pass the Chandrasekhar limit.

You see, I have to deal with enough stupid people that I don’t want to expose myself to any more than is necessary. And watching MSNBC? Ain’t necessary.

But the cool kids watch it. And they’ll hit Twitter talking about what some dumbsh*t on MSNBC said.

Now, MSNBC’s rating are in the toilet. Nobody watches. Except maybe Obama and his crew. But even then, I’m not sure about them watching. They don’t need to. MSNBC has it’s nose so far up Obama’s butt, if he farted, Olbermann’s hair would part.

But, other than Obama and his flock, who watches MSNBC?

The cool kids, that’s who.

Not because they like it. But so they can make fun of it.

But here’s the funny thing: The only people that watch that channel do so to rip on it; if they didn’t watch it, nobody would, abd all the dipsh*ts on the channel would be out of work.

But then, what would the cool kids watch?

Funny cats on YouTube?

With more and more Americans opposing the Democrats’ many versions of a health care bill, the Obama administration and the Congressional leadership are finding it difficult selling their plans to their own party members.

The president is traveling to various cities, looking to build support for his agenda.

We contacted a spokesman for the Democratic party, who told us why Americans haven’t embraced the health care bills:

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It’s been a rough several months for the president.

In November, 2009, Obama backed Jon Corzine in his re-election bid in New Jersey.

Jon Corzine, loser

Republican Christopher J. Christie won.

The same night, more bad news for the president.

In the Virginia governor’s race, Obama campaigned for Democrat Creigh Deeds.

Creigh Deeds, loser

Republican Robert F. McDonnell was elected.

Of course, the bad news didn’t stop with the end of 2009.

Obama campaigned for Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley in the special election to fill a U.S. Senate seat.

Martha Coakley, loser

Of course, Scott Brown, the Republican, won.

Then, after traveling to Las Vegas to campaign for Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader lost 10 points in the latest poll.

Harry Reid, losing

It seems Obama can’t pick a winner.

Until this week. At the health care summit, Obama picked one…

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Finally! Obama wins! Hail to the chief!

Note: I posted this over at my little blog earlier. I didn’t expect it would get much of a reaction, so I didn’t cross-post it here.

Turns out that some liberals trolls have taken offense, and left some really nasty comments. But they left them on teh YouTube, because I don’t allow anonymous comments on my blog. I removed the comments on teh YouTube due to the language.

It appears I misunderestimated the impact of this post. However, if being on my little 4-visitor-a-day blog generated that much consternation from the left, imagine what it showing up here would do!

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[Full transcript]

Excerpt transcript:

What do you say to your members, when it does come to the House to vote on this, who are in real fear of losing their seats in November if they support you now?

PELOSI: Well first of all our members — every one of them — wants health care. I think everybody wants affordable health care for all Americans. They know that this will take courage. It took courage to pass Social Security. It took courage to pass Medicare. And many of the same forces that were at work decades ago are at work again against this bill.

But the American people need it, why are we here? We’re not here just to self perpetuate our service in Congress. We’re here to do the job for the American people. To get them results that gives them not only health security, but economic security, because the health issue is an economic issue for — for America’s families.

You know who else is told to have “courage” before they go and do something harmful to America?

These people:

I guess that’s something that everyone ready to commit suicide on behalf of others is told … even if it’s political suicide.

George Will explains a problem with government-mandated health care in a way that even a liberal can understand:

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Excerpt transcript:

One question: If the government came to you and said, “Professor Krugman, you have a car. We’re going to compel you to buy a more expensive car, but it’s not really more expensive because it’s a better car.” Wouldn’t you tell them to get off your land?

I wish I had thought of that.

Barack Obama keeps saying he inherited problems. And, the statistics show that, just maybe, he did.

Look at this graph from the Bureau of Labor.

[Source: Bureau of Labor]

Notice that unemployment was on its way up before he took office. It looks like Obama did inherit rising unemployment.

But then, take the statistics from this source — the Unites States Senate — showing which party controlled the Senate, and apply it to that graphic.

What do you get? This:

[Source: American Thinker]

So, when you go to criticize Barack Obama for his dismal performance, keep in mind that it’s not just his fault. It’s the Democrats’ fault.

And the fault of those that keep electing Democrats.

Another award for Al Gore

The University of Tennessee, fresh off banning of ownership of handguns by student-athletes, ups its moonbattery status by awarding Al Gore with an honorary doctorate.

The degree – an Honorary Doctor of Laws and Humane Letters in Ecology and Evolutionary Biology – will be given to Gore at the spring commencement exercises of the College of Arts and Sciences on May 14, where he will be the featured speaker.

“Why?” you ask. Let’s see what UT Knoxville Chancellor Jimmy G. Cheek said:

“Vice President Gore’s career has been marked by visionary leadership, and his work has quite literally changed our planet for the better,”

No, this isn’t a joke. He was serious when he said it. Really.

Now, I’m not saying that Gore shouldn’t be given an award or a degree. I’m just not sure that the degree he’s getting is most appropriate.

What awards and degrees should Al Gore have?

• Nobel Prize in Literature (Fiction)
• Bachelor of Settled Science
• Hugo Award
• Doctor of Asshattery
• Master of Arrogance
• Academy Award for Acting … Like An Idiot

I’m sure there are many other awards and degrees that Al Gore should possess.

PJTV won’t let you embed their videos. Or, they won’t let me embed this one. Mean ole PJTV.

Oh, Scott Ott and Zo did this one. So, you know it is teh awesome!

[Click to view]
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It started as a joke.

But then, many on the left are a joke. Which explains the lack of a sense of humor.

But there is a left-wing response to the Tea Party. It’s the Coffee Party (tip: OTB). Really. Okay, maybe they do have a sense of humor. Because I’m laughing.

And, they’ve already had their first meeting:

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I’m thinking that Kraft Foods wouldn’t let them use the name “Kool-Aid Drinkers.”