It’s no secret that I think Barack Obama is an idiot. And that I think that those that voted for Obama are idiots. But, during certain times of the year, I try to put that kind of stuff aside and do the whole “can’t we all play nice” kind of thing.

For example, Frank usually posts stuff about holidays here. Over at my little blog, I’ve posted proclamations by the current president regarding Thanksgiving (2009) and Veterans Day (2009, 2010).

Why not Veterans Day proclamation post? Simple. The current president didn’t issue any such proclamation this year. Check for yourself. Find one for Thanksgiving, too.

Oh, and find one for Christmas. Not just for this year, but for any of the three Christmases since he occupied the Oval Office. They don’t exist. The last Presidential Proclamation regarding Christmas came from President George W. Bush in 2008.

Now, you will find a proclamation on Hanukkah for this year. But you won’t find one for last year. I suppose after this year’s missteps regarding Israel, he did this, hoping to mend fences. But, Obama being Obama, he screwed it up. Though the proclamation got the dates right, the actual ceremony was 12 days off– and all jacked up.

He did issue a statement on Kwanzaa this year, as well as in 2010 and 2009. Maybe if Kwanzaa was more than 45 years old, he’d issue a proclamation. Till then, made-up holidays got to take what they can get, I suppose.

Anyway, about Obama. There’s no hope for this guy. And, if you are planning on voting for him in 2012, there’s no hope for you. And, if he wins, there’s no hope for any of us.

Let’s take a moment and look back at 2011. These are the best posts of 2011, according to your votes.

Here’s how we determined this list. You know at the bottom of each post, you can rate the posts from 1 (“Hated it”) to 5 (“Awesome”) stars? Well, we looked at the posts from the past year, limiting the list to posts with 30 or more ratings. Then, we took the highest rated ones, and are presenting them here. We’re not ranking them from 1-10, but simply presenting a chronological listing of the top ten posts of the year, as you, the IMAO reader, rated them.

• Doesn’t ANYONE Like This Woman…
  Posted by Harvey on February 11
• Who Are the Koch Brothers
  Posted by Frank J. on February 24
• Where Did Obama Grow Up?
  Posted by Frank J. on March 3
• Fred Phelps vs Paul of Tarsus
  Posted by Basil on March 7
• Is He Sure About This?
  Posted by Harvey on April 4
• In My World: Let Them Eat Hybrids
  Posted by Frank J. on April 8
• The Left’s Problem with Trig
  Posted by Frank J. on April 25
• Callooh! Callay!
  Posted by Frank J. on May 2
• Need More Borders for Obama
  Posted by Frank J. on May 20
• Liberal logic
  Posted by Basil on October 29

Are these really the best of the best? According to your voting, yes. If there were some posts during 2011 that you thought were better than these, feel free to leave a comment telling about your favorite.

And, if you don’t bother to rate posts, well, just like in the presidential election, if you don’t bother to vote, don’t complain about the results.

Still, this list of ten is a pretty good list. Even if a couple of mine made the list. (That’s just motivation for Frank to write better stuff. Or to rate my stuff with one star.)

By the way, in the sidebar on the right, Frank keeps a running list of the top rated posts of all-time. Well, since IMAO went to WordPress in 2008, anyway. You can always check out the classics there.

Oh, one other thing. I wish I had some hard statistics on comments. Some of the comments left this year were fantastic. In addition to writing the occasional post here, I am a long-time reader of IMAO, and I’ve always enjoyed the comments here. I want to thank you for providing me with some laughs, too.

The Gospel of Luke, Chapter 2

1. And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.
2. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
3. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
4. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David
5. To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
6. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
7. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
8. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
10. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
12. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
13. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

©2000 Denise Van Patten – http://collectdolls.about.com

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter’s nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: “Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, Laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

Frank’s away for a few days, taking a well-deserved rest. Promoting a book is hard work!

SarahK is busy changing diapers and cleaning house and baking pecan pie for Frank. Being a mom is hard work. Having two children around the house (a 14-month old and a 378-month old) is tiring.

Mr. Right has popped up, and may show up again. But, it’s hard always being Mr. Right.

Harvey … well you just never know. He stays busy and doesn’t check in here as much as we’d like.

SpaceMonkey? With Frank not around for a few days, he won’t be checking in and correcting Frank’s spelling. He’s a busy guy, has kids, and this time of year is busy for normal people, much less for Cosmic Simians.

And, of course, we haven’t seen hide nor hair of the others for a while. Around here, anyway.

Me? I’m traveling this weekend, spending Christmas with my son. First time in years we’ve spent Christmas together.

What’s all this got to do with anything? Well, it kept me from beginning a post like this:

We’ve all got better things to do than deal with you, so entertain yourselves. But, in the spirit of Christmas, be nice, be charitable, and share with others.

Share your favorite blogs, news items, stories, thoughts, and such with others. Maybe even things that would be great Christmas gifts for others. (Keep it nice if it’s for a Republican presidential candidate; reserve any venom for the other side. For this post, anyway.)

Maybe list things that you’d like to give the president (you dont’ have to be so nice there; we do have an agenda here, after all). Like a wedgie. Or a brain.

Or, gift ideas for others. Use your imagination.

If you want to be all nice and syrupy and give honest, heart-felt greetings, you can. But, there are two opportunities for that: there’s a Christmas Eve post tonight (“A Visit from St. Nicholas”) and a Christmas morning post (Luke 2:1-14). Those are already scheduled to appear, at 6:00 PM and 6:00 AM, respectively. But, if you can’t wait until then, go ahead here.

Give the gift of … well, whatever it is you call it.

Newt Gingrich is making some news because he told someone at a campaign event to vote for Obama. Really.

Okay, here’s what happened. At a Gingrich rally in Oskaloosa, Iowa, a gay Democrat Obama supporter got into a “cordial” one-on-one with Gingrich, that ended with Gingrich telling the questioner to support Obama:

Gingrich: “I think those for whom the only issue that really matters is the definition of marriage, I won’t get their support. I accept that as reality. On the other hand, for those to whom it’s not the central issue in their life, if they care about job creation, if they care about national security, if they care about a better future for the country at large, then I think I’ll get their support.”

Q: So what if it is the biggest issue?

Gingrich: Then I won’t get their support.

Q: How do we engage if you’re elected. Then what, what does that mean?

Gingrich: Well then you engage in every topic except that.

Q: Except it’s most important (some crosstalk).

Gingrich: Well, if that’s most important to you then you should be for Obama.

Q: I am, thank you

Now, personally, I’m fine with what Newt said. I’m not talking about my agreeing or disagreeing with his stance on gay marriage. I’m talking about his standing his ground and telling the gay Democrat Obama supporter the same thing he tells his own lesbian sister. That’s unusual for a politician to tell someone “go vote for the other guy.”

But, apparently, that’s not what a candidate is supposed to do. A candidate is supposed to pander to all the little piss-ants and ass-clowns that crash a campaign event and come up to him. The candidate is supposed to say whatever it takes to make them happy — even if the clown is going to vote for the other candidate anyway.

Newt Gingrich isn’t doing that. And I like that about him. But, of course, standing firm and not backing down for what you believe is a bad thing, to hear the media, Democrats (but I repeat myself), and most other Republicans and their supporters talk. Except Ron Paul supporters. They like that their candidate has been consistent for years. They don’t like it when Newt Gingrich is consistent. It shows how much he’s part of the establishment … though all of the Washington establishment has come out against Gingrich.

Wait. We’re looking for someone who the Washington establishment doesn’t like? Yet someone who knows how Washington politics works? And someone who can balance a budget? And someone who, when he makes a mistake, can admit it? Even big mistakes?

I better stop now. I’m finding that I’m liking Gingrich more and more. And I don’t think I’m supposed to.

Students of history agree: the upcoming celebration doesn’t accurately reflect the birthday of the person being celebrated. This holiday has traditions that go back far beyond the birth of the One who is worshiped by many. But, over the years, the two celebrations became intertwined. There is no actual physical proof of the circumstances of birth of the child, but there are documents and writings from around the time. Though their authenticity is questioned by some, we have enough evidence from other sources to establish an approximate date and location of the birth of the one worshiped by His followers.

So, despite Barack Obama being born August 4, 1961 in Honolulu, the trees are trimmed with decorations celebrating Him during this holiday season.

What?

Christmas tree? What Christmas tree?

Oh, that thing in front of the U.S. Capitol? Yeah, some people still call it by that archaic name, but we can’t have anything related to this “Christ” person, because of the Separation of Church and State that’s in the Constitution, so…

What?

Oh, it’s in there. Somewhere. Let me look.

Okay, it’s not in the first seven articles. Maybe it’s in one of the amendments. Ah, here it is.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion…

See? Oh, wait. It goes on.

…or prohibiting the free exercise thereof

Well, that’s not it. But everybody knows it’s in there, even if nobody can find it. And, as a result, we can’t have a tree that celebrates this Jesus person.

But, the Constitution doesn’t say we can’t celebrate Obama. In fact, it says we have to. I think that’s in the Commerce Clause or something. Or maybe it’s in the Right to Privacy section. But it’s got to be in there.

So, in celebration of Barack Hussein Obama, we urge you to take that tree you have in your house and get rid of anything that has a Jesus implication. Like Angels. Except Albert Pujols. You can keep him.

And watch that Santa stuff. We don’t want children getting the idea that Santa brings them things, when everyone knows Obama is responsible for the stuff you have. He lets you keep some things, and we are beholden to him for that. So don’t confuse the kiddies with that silly Santa nonsense.

We know that some traditions die hard. So, if you want to have something from that Bible book on it, maybe something from Psalms. Number 19 would be good:

The decrees of the LORD are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold

See, that could apply to Obama, so it would be okay. But, you got to be careful. You don’t want people reading something into it and get the idea that there could be worship going on. Unless it’s worshiping Obama, which is good. And right. And required.

What if you don’t have a tree? Because you’re a Jew or a Muslim or a Jehovah’s Witness or an atheist or a Pastafarian or something else? Simple. Go get one. Gaia won’t mind you cutting down a tree for something as important as Obama. And put up your Obama tree. Like the U.S. Capitol did.

And, be sure to have ornaments that actually mention Obama. But not Jesus.

We don’t want to forget the reason for the season.

Who is our enemy? Well, it’s not the Taliban. That’s the word from Joseph R. Biden — or is it Yosef ar Biden?

Air Force Two’s Prime Cargo declared in an interview with Newsweek that the Taliban isn’t our enemy:

There is not a single statement that the president has ever made in any of our policy assertions that the Taliban is our enemy because it threatens U.S. interests.

Naturally, the White House issued a clarification. Oh, it seems they stood by Biden’s statements.

So, the Taliban isn’t our enemy. Then, who is?

Looking at the actions of the Obama administration, here are the likely candidates:

• The Queen of England
• White people that are conservative
• Black people that are conservative
• Brown people that are conservative
• Navy SEALS
• Republicans that support Ron Paul
• Republicans that don’t support Ron Paul
• Libertarians
• Liberaltarians reassessed as not a threat
• Fox News
• A little bit of ABC News
• You, simply for reading this

Be on guard. Report any of these people you see. It’s your duty.

There are seven Republican candidates left:

• Michele Bachmann
• Newt Gingrich
• Jon Huntsman
• Ron Paul
• Rick Perry
• Mitt Romney
• Rick Santorum

Oh, wait. There are actually 15 left. We forgot about these:

• Gary Johnson
• Fred Karger
• Andy Martin
• Jimmy McMillan
• Tom Miller
• Buddy Roemer
• Matt Snyder
• Vern Wuensche

Why aren’t they getting in the debates? Because they have no shot?

Isn’t that what was said about Herman Cain, who was the frontrunner for a while?

Isn’t that what was said about Newt Gingrich, current frontrunner, when most of his campaign staff deserted him this past summer?

Isn’t that what Ron Paul supporters say about every other candidate?

Isn’t that what every other candidate’s supporters say about Ron Paul?

This is where Donald Trump screwed up. When most of the big names declined to show, he canceled. He should have invited the lesser-known candidates to show up. Who knows? We might be seeing Jimmy McMillan or Vern Muensche leading in Iowa.

We need to have a debate where all the candidates show up. That would be interesting. Imagine hearing this exchange:

Chris Wallace: Mr. McMillan, how would you handle the threat of a nuclear Iran?

Jimmy McMillan: The rent is too damn high! I say it again, the rent is too damn high!

Gary Johnson: Let me add, Chris, that the war on drugs has caused the rent to rise.

Buddy Roemer: The high rent favors the 1%.

Chris Wallace: Can I just go back to asking questions of Newt and Mitt? Please?

That would be fun. But perhaps I’m being unfair to Chris Wallace.

Plus, we could actually have Obama there in a dunking booth. Whenever there’s a question about Obama, the participant can either answer the question, or get a ball to throw at the plunger, trying to dunk Obama in a tank. With sharks. With frikkin’ laser beams.

We would be glad to sponsor such a debate, as long as someone else will pay for it, but still put our name on it. Here’s what we need: a venue, a moderator, and a panel.

So, what ideas have you to make the debates more fun?

There was a Republican Debate or something in Iowa last night. I think it was on the cable.

I don’t have cable. I watch all my TV over the Internet. That’s how the cool kids do it, anyway.

Not having cable means no Fox News Channel. Sure, there’s a Website or something I can go to, but not having a channel already set up on the Roku makes it easy to decide to just skip the debate.

Besides, there’s always the Twitterz.

The Twitter feeds are always much more fun than watching a bunch of politicians stand around and make smart statements (Newt Gingrich & Mitt Romney) or stupid statements (RONPAUL!!!1!!). Besides, I’ve already picked out who I’m voting for: Not Obama.

Maybe I should go through the trouble of watching the debates. After all, one of those men will be the next president. Okay, I shouldn’t eliminate Michele Bachmann from that. Unless I want to be realistic. And I do. So, one of those men will be the next president.

Ron Paul (RONPAUL!!!1!!1!!) said something stupid. He also said some smart things. And, I’m sure, some of his idiot supporters will stop by here and tell me all about the smart things Ron Paul (RONPAUL!!!1!!11!) said, or why the stupid things Ron Paul (RONPAUL!!!1!!11!) said are really smart and I’m a corporate tool or something. Oh, and FEDERALRESERVE!!!1!!

Newt stepped in it early on, but got better, and by the end of the debate, was rolling along.

Romney said some good things early on, then said some stupid stuff, and had leveled off by the end of the debate.

Rick Perry showed a bit of a sense of humor, said some okay stuff and some not okay stuff.

Huntsman was there. Or Gary Johnson. One of them. I’m not sure which. I don’t think anyone else was sure, either.

Rick Santorum was there. I think he brought the bean dip.

I mentioned Michele Bachmann. She lit into Gingrich a few times. He didn’t unhinge his jaw and devour her, but thought about it.

The Fox News moderators asked some good questions at times, but were trying to prod the candidates into fighting each other for much of the time.

If you watched the debate, let me know if I didn’t sum it up accurately. Because, as I mentioned, I didn’t watch the debate. I didn’t have to. The accuracy of my summary shows that.

Now, does this mean the debates are useless? No, not at all. It’s a good way to get smart people and raving lunatics in the same room and watch the fun. Like a reality show.

I’m thinking if we can do this every week and ask Ron Paul a bunch of foreign policy questions, he’ll eventually get an Emmy for Outstanding Comedy. Maybe that will be a good consolation prize, and he’ll let one of the candidates with some smarts run for president.

Anyway, I didn’t go through the trouble of launching a browser on my TV setup and watching the debate. I have a large supply of Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVDs to go through, so I did something productive with my time.

Maybe I’ll watch the next debate.

Nah. I have Joel and the ‘Bots watching Manos. Told you I was one of the cool kids.