Technically, I Think This Entitles Him to Supervillain Status

In Texas, a Juvenile Justice Department employee was arrested for felony theft after it was discovered he’d stolen $1.2 million worth of fajitas during the past nine years.

If he’d done that in Oregon, they’d probably charge him with cultural appropriation.

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Let Me Play Good Cop, Here, Kim… Don’t Mess With the Donald… He’s Crazy… I Don’t Know if I Can Hold Him Back…

North Korea’s foreign minister has accused President Trump of lighting “the wick of war” with his repeated insults and threats.

And pretty soon, Trump will make a wish, blow out the candle, and North Korea will be the piece of cake with the hole in it.

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Charging That Much, You’d Think Their Commercials Could Afford Scenery

[If Cell Phone Commercials Were Honest – Honest Ads (iPhone, Android)] (Viewer #333,614)

Caution: may be offensive to iPeople

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Link of the Day: Now THIS Would Make America Great Again

[High Praise! to XKCD]

State Borders

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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The Science Is Settled

New research suggests that Vikings could have been Muslim after archaeologists found the word ‘Allah’ woven into their burial clothes

Uh huh. By that logic, I’m a Nike running shoe.

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Not Sure They Did This to Get Social Security Passed, But Pretty Much Everything Else

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Straight Line of the Day: The One Thing You Will NOT Find in the Barack Obama Presidential Library…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The one thing you will NOT find in the Barack Obama Presidential Library…

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The Illustrated Frank J: Death, Taxes, and This

[title reference link]

[source]

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Your Mother and I Think It’s Time You Moved Out

A growing group in California is gearing up to push for a vote on whether their state will secede.

Well, it’ll be an interesting race whether California secedes or we kick the socialist cesspool out.

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The Illustrated Frank J: “Trump Is an Idiot for Tweeting About Thing!” “And Yet Now Everyone Is Talking About Thing, Just Like He Wanted”

[source]

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Link of the Day: On Guns, Liberals Ask the Wrong Questions

[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]

What About the Squid Farms

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Can I Get a Witness? Communism Stinks!

[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

[Stossel: 100 years of Communist Disaster] (Viewer #38,598)

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Only One Bastion of Exclusion Left Now

The Boy Scouts of America announced that it will start accepting girls next year.

That’s nice. All we have to do now is get the NAACP to accept whites and America’s problems should be solved.

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I Support the Big Tent Theory of Comedy

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

And yes, you are now free to leave random Blazing Saddles quotes in the comments.

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The Illustrated Frank J: Blade Runner Was So Bad, Digitally Remastering It With Jar-Jar Appearances Would’ve Been an Improvement

[source]

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