While idly flipping through the referer logs, I came across a useless site that someone clicked the IMAO link on. Here’s a screenshot:

You’re reading that right, we beat out www.adultschat.us, which came in a pathetic 46th place.

Moon Nuker Pride, Worldwide!

[High Praise! to gun-totin-wacko of HistorySnark]

The way GTW explains it, having President Obama insert himself into other presidents’ bios kinda make sense. For example:

President Eisenhower spent eight years in the White House. He’s best known today for a few habits that he had, since his presidency was a period of amazing growth. For instance, did you know that Ike smoked? And like Ike, Obama smokes too! So he’s carrying on the legacy of Ike’s booming economy by providing stimulus to the tobacco industry.

Eisenhower also is viewed as the father of the Interstate Highway System. He became aware of the need for better roads when, as a young Army officer, he took part in an exercise to see how well troops could be transported across the country. As president, he started the highway construction boom we have today. And Obama, like Eisenhower, is spending billions of dollars on the highways of America. It’s just that the work done under the current administration is either not really being done, or it was already funded. But hey- he’s building on Ike’s legacy yet again!

Eisenhower is also known for having a fondness for golf. Of course, he sometimes felt he had other things to do, and it’s also easier to go golfing when the country and the economy isn’t in the crapper, but Obama is making a point of building on his legacy of golf. Ike might even have helped popularize the game, and Obama… well he golfs a lot. A LOT! So he’s just like Ike!

Plenty more. Just click the link.

[High Praise! to Jimmy]

Consider this a Rorschach Test for your belief in free markets.

I look at these pictures and feel an almost spiritual sense of awe and wonder to think that men could build such things, and – despite the obvious and incredible amounts of cash sunk into this sprawling landscape of engineering wonders – still run the operation at a profit.

Hippies will think of oily birds & cry:

The Canadian Oil Sand Mines Refused Us Access, So We Rented This Plane To See What They Were Up To

Have some oxygen nearby. These pictures are breathtaking.

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Not only is the blue-eyed, blonde-haired 1/32 Cherokee proud of her Native American heritage, she’s also proud to copy other people’s work and pass it off as her own.

The credibility of Massachusetts Democratic Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren took another hit today as Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm Ms. Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey.

Knowing full well that Moon Nukers are never content with a simple head-shake & tsk-tsk when there’s mockery to be had, I asked Les of Brick Moon [High Praise!] to re-work the cover of the cook-book in question.

Here’s the original:

Here’s the new & improved version.

Anyway, I’m sure that, very soon, Elizabeth will be doing the liberal news talk-show circuit to explain how she actually submitted 200 recipes, and thus fails to meet the 1/32 threshold required to be considered a Plagiarist-American.

Although I’m sure Harvard will still refer to her as their first “Woman of Copy.”

[High Praise! to Arik]

To 2nd Amendment types like us, these are a mildly amusing curiosity.

To gun control nuts, it’s “brainwashing children” – the firearms version of candy cigarettes.

Irritating them is why I’m posting this video:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #236,804)

UPDATE: Linked by The Silicon Graybeard

[High Praise! to Weisshaupt]

It’s got some swears in it, but this is the most viscerally accurate description of the deeper philosophical implications of the Chevy Volt that you’ll ever read:

The Car We Were Forced To Build

For those who only like clean language, here’s a post from Adaptive Curmudgeon’s series on the Occupy movement:

Full Examination Of Hobby Protest (Part II Of My OWS Analysis)

You’ll need these definition from part I:

Hobby Protest – noun: A form of protest where participants engage in theatric activities for the joy of the experience itself and not necessarily for the advancement of their goals (if they have any).

Serious Protest – noun: A form of protest characterized by groups of people who have a serious grievance and are determined to get what they want. Serious protests are undertaken only by people who have exhausted other attempts to gain their objectives.

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Based on a suggestion by hwuu [High Praise!]

So… who else are the Moon Nukers ready to rumble with?

Recently I suggested in an offhand manner that people should read Bill Ayers’ biography Barack Obama’s autobiography, “Dreams From My Father”.

This suggestion has been met with varying degrees of disgust and revulsion. For example:
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I can think of a zillion better things to do with my time, including: roll around in a fire ant nest while covered with honey; try to get a BAC over 0.6 and still survive; and try to explain the free market to a group of hippies. – Ernie Loco

TL/DR – Scott

I’d rather set fire to my face and beat it out with a track shoe. – JW
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I’m sensing a trend here.

So let’s roll with it

Tell me… what would you rather do than read “Dreams From My Father”?

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’ll discover the incomparable, if slightly disturbing, joys of dog-whipping as we mush our sled north to Alaska, so let’s get started…
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The design for Alaska’s state flag was loosely based on something Bugs Bunny saw after getting whacked on the head by a cartoon mallet.

* Alaska is the northernmost of the 50 states, and consists largely of a frigid, inhospitable wasteland, much like Bill Clinton’s marriage.

* Before the Eskimos settled in Alaska, it was populated by a race of midgets, but they were all clubbed to death by baby seals, and no record of their civilization remains.

* 90% of Alaska’s oil is pumped to the lower 48 states via the Alaskan pipeline. The other 10% is pumped directly into Prince William Sound just to irritate Greenpeace.

* There are no cars in Alaska because it’s too cold for an internal combustion engine to work. If an Alaskan wants to travel, he must either use a dogsled, or carve a car-shaped, Flintstone-like vehicle out of ice.

* The first non-Eskimo settlement in Alaska was established in 1784 on the Western coast of the state by Mexicans who had run out of borders to sneak across.

* Alaskan Eskimos have over 200 different words for “cold”, all of which start with “Damn!”

* Like that line? I stole it from a Mexican while he was sneaking across the border.

* Alaska’s original state motto was “Hey! What happened to my brass monkey?”

* Most of the people who move to Alaska are criminals and con artists looking for a fresh set of unsuspecting victims – much like Congressmen, except with parkas.

* The Alaskan state legislature is currently evenly split along party lines between moose and polar bears.

* Alaska spends 6 months of every year in total darkness, making them ripe for a takeover by the Sith.

* Alaska is so big that it could hold Texas, Montana and Nebraska and STILL have room left over for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s bicep.

* It could even hold Michael Moore if you took out Texas.

* During World War 2, the Japanese actually invaded Alaska, but all the Japanese soldiers were eaten by a giant radioactive lizard.

* Alaska became the 49th state on January 3rd, 1959, although it was 2 more years before their star thawed out enough for it to be sewn onto the flag.

* The fishing industry is Alaska’s largest private employer. The second largest is importing mail order brides from Russia.

* All the rivers in Alaska are permanently frozen over, making Alaska the only state in the US where it was safe to ride in a car driven by Ted Kennedy.

* Every year, millions of salmon swim upstream into Alaska to return to their spawning grounds and flee the socialist oppression of Canada.

* If I remember correctly, Alaska’s state flower is the forget-me-not.

* I’ll let you think about that one for a minute.

* The official State sport of Alaska is dog mushing, which shouldn’t be confused with puppy blending – the official state sport of Tennessee.

* The record high temperature in Alaska was set in 1951 in Fort Yukon at 100 degrees Fahrenheit. This was the only time in history when being a weatherman in Alaska was NOT the easiest job in the world.

* Most Alaskan weathermen were fired that day because they didn’t have a word to describe the temperature.

* The current official state motto of Alaska is “North to the future”. The unofficial state motto is “South to somewhere warm.”

* Contrary to popular myth, there are no penguins in Alaska. Try looking in Gotham city.

* Alaska boasts the lowest population density of any state in America except for whichever state Al Gore is giving a speech in.

* Alaska’s name is based on the Eskimo word “Alakshak”, which means “Damn!”
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That wraps up the Alaska edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be elbowing leathery-skinned retirees out of our way at the mall as we take in the sights of Arizona.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go rescue a salmon from Canadian socialist oppression…

Hey ya filthy Canuck! Get your hands off that fish!

Because the US military is so awesome, the only army that could actually give us a decent fight is one that’s made up.

Assuming, of course, that our Rules of Engagement aren’t mired in some rainbow-unicorn “winning hearts & minds” bushwah.

However, if we only wanted to win hearts & minds so that we could display them in a trophy case, then my first point still stands.

Sick of Obama submitting unserious budgets that don’t address the looming entitlement crisis, John Boehner said “we’ve spent enough time playing small ball.”

John, Obama’s a golfer. Those are the only balls he’s got.

[High Praise! to Hunter of Atomic Monkey Action Squad]

Hunter takes Obama’s biography-meddling and “one-downs” it like a boss:

I Drop My Name Into the Presidential Biographies

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

[via There, I Fixed It!]

Wow. The hits just keep on coming.

He ate a dog, he slept with composite women (who totally existed!), he loved driving drunk, and he used to bully kids by punching them in the face.

Too bad all John McCain did was serve his country and spend 5 years being tortured in Vietnamese prison camps. He might’ve amounted to something.

I thought about reading DFMF myself to see what other oddball tidbits are in there, but I’m right in the middle of “The Count of Monte Cristo” right now (“You’ll like it. It’s about a prison break.”), so I’m just gonna have to take a few guesses at what other surprises await the discerning reader :
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That bus he keeps throwing his friends under? Made in Canada

1) Fell in love with a singer at a night club. Turned out *spoiler alert* she was a dude.

2) Worked for a secret government agency whose goal was to keep people from finding out that aliens live among us. He was Agent K’s original partner, Agent O, although his name was changed to protect his identity in that documentary by Will Smith.

3) While living in Hawaii, invented the grass skirt. Still wears them behind the podium at press conferences.

4) During his introduction of Professor Derrick Bell at a Harvard protest in 1991, mistakenly described him as “the founder of America’s Mexican fast-food industry.”

5) In a crazy bar bet with a young man identified only as “Johnny”, lost a golden fiddle.

6) Only smoked marijuana once, experimentally. Then 7000 more times to confirm his data. Scientific method rules!

7) His roommate in college was a Chinese guy that Obama constantly borrowed money from, but never repaid.

8) Amazed his friends by appearing to die while fighting a Balrog, only to appear months later wearing a white robe and requesting that he should be addressed with a peculiar nickname that seemed to deny his African-American heritage.

9) Never actually told his literary agent that he was born in Kenya. Over a bad connection, he’d told his secretary that he was a “born Keynesian”. From there, chalk it up to poor penmanship.

10) As a poverty-stricken student at Occidental College in L.A., his lack of means forced him to do his own automotive maintenance, including changing his own oil. Which he would dump on the beach and blame BP for.

11) Shot a man in Reno just to watch the shortcomings of the failed American healthcare system let him die.
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Anyway, go ahead & read Dreams From My Father yourself. Bet you a gold fiddle my list isn’t nearly as weird as what’s actually in there.

You can always give a drawing of a gun with words in front of it that say how incredibly useful and versatile guns are:

Perfect for the man who has everything, except a place to put his coffee.

Also available in torso coverage.

At the IMAO store.