The Blaze has up an excerpt from Superego if for some insane reason you still need convincing to buy it. My humor + action/thriller + some light philosophical overtimes — how can you resist?
Problem with Hillary is she’s just not very personable. Only time she shows genuine emotion is when threatening to swallow people’s souls.
“Do you want guac on that?”
“Let me ask my consultants.”
“Guac costs extra. Could make you look elitist.”
I am not going to rest until all of you read Superego. Because I am concerned for your happiness.
“Look at Hillary order from Chipotle! She thinks she’s people!”
“Hi. I’m Hillary, and I am just like you, single young females. You know as they say: You are what you soak in the blood of.”
Women, who tend to not work as many years in the workforce as men, earn less than men. Did anyone ask if they wanted to work more?
If you interpret the 78% statistic as women earning less for the same work, the reason you earn less is because you’re a gullible idiot.
So does Chef Gordon Ramsay ever make an appearance on Daredevil?
I can get Amazon PrimeNow at my office. I wield power that even the greatest kings never had.
What boots did Nancy Sinatra have before she got ones made for walking? Rocket boots made for flying? Much more interesting to sing about.
Hillary Clinton is going to run for president again? Cool. Last time, a charismatic empty suit dashed her dreams, but she’s not deterred.
Hillary is pretty old, but I’d kinda prefer a president who would just sleep most of the day. 2nd best thing to another Coolidge.
I’m a little afraid that if Hillary fell down and couldn’t get up, she might mistake the nuclear football for her medical alert bracelet.
Republicans act a little too scared of Hillary. How bad can someone be who has a whole house made out of candy in the middle of the woods?
“My emojis aren’t tolerant enough.” Man, I’m hoping we’ve finally reached peak asininity.
So is the idea that in 2008 we just weren’t ready for Hillary? We did not complete the requisite Hillary prep?
“In 2008, there was still some hope left. But now… we’re ready for Hillary!”
One thing I’ll say about the new Daredevil show: That’s the tiniest font for opening credits I’ve ever seen.
No way anyone would try font that small in a pre-HD era. #Daredevil
“I can’t win this without your support.” -Hillary Clinton to her walker
You don’t have a soul if you don’t feel at least a little sympathy for the people pretending to be excited by a Hillary candidacy.
Maybe Hansel and Gretel tricked her into her oven. #WhyHillarysAnnouncementIsLate
“Hello. 40 years ago I was married to an extremely lecherous president when the economy was good. Please elect me president, too.”
Democrats rejected her 8 years ago as not exciting enough, but now that’s she even older and less relevant… there are no better choices.
This is going to be boring presidential campaign. I already wore myself out on making fun of Hillary 20 years ago.
If we get the right rich person to push people around with the right laws, everything will be good.
So when will get to the point that Democrat presidential candidates can stop pretending to be Christian?
The big question for 2016 will be how much as a country have we just plain given up.
This is a bit like if the GOP went for younger, more interesting candidate than Dole in 1996 then acted all excited for him 8 years later.
Then again, the young people who didn’t want Hillary in 2008 are now 7 years older and had the hope beaten out of them. #ReadyForHillary
Back in my day, we retweeted everything by hand.
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz: “Whatever should be allowed for abortion should be between a woman and Doctor Gosnell.”
I believe in execution in some cases. Like the Joker. Really stupid they haven’t executed the Joker. He’s going to escape and kill again.
If I ever mansplain something to you, you thank me.
Best book I have read this year.” Really nice review of Audible version of Superego.
Sorta wish I could have done Audible version of Superego myself. Would love to have read for Rico. Not so much for Diane.
Overall, better to let a professional do it who knows how to keep all character voices distinct.
The humor in Superego seems to be a big selling point, but I never thought to mention that. It was supposed to be my first serious book.
The next novel I’m finishing up I think is funnier than Superego, but still not quite what I’d call a comedy.
I’ve had the Duck Tales theme song stuck in my head for three days now. Not sure I’m complaining.
My little sister was costume designer for new original series on Hulu Resident Advisors.
My sister is coming down to Austin to work on a project with Emergent Order. Will be my first time to work with her professionally.
Honestly, Rand Paul (the eye doctor) should've waited for the next election. The RAND PAUL 2020 VISION campaign would've written itself.
— Bill Kuchman (@billkuchman) April 7, 2015
[Adam and eve first date] Adam: I like your leaves. Where did you get them? Eve: Thank you. I got them here in Eden. Adam: That makes sense
— Poorly Drawn Turtle (@NoTheOtherJohn) April 7, 2015
I know I'm going to take some heat for this, but I scored an Apple Watch! I opted for the pocketwatch version, which has a bigger screen.
— Elle Oh Hell (@ElleOhHell) April 8, 2015
*Man walks up to a dumpster fire, throws a match into it* NARRATOR: Twitter dot com. Join the conversation.
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) April 8, 2015
in english the polite way to say a haircut is bad is to say "you got a haircut" then wait a split second too long before u say it looks nice
— TROMNEYOBLY PIACKLES (@Tormny_Pickeals) April 8, 2015
The difficult moment a young 90s actress realized she was auditioning to be a George girlfriend, not a Jerry girlfriend.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) April 9, 2015
I think the best way Ron Paul could help Rand Paul in the Republican primary would be to denounce him.
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” -Doc Brown advocating a libertarian future
If your bill gets struck down by a unanimous Supreme Court decision, you should be imprisoned for trying to subvert the Constitution.
We need to be constantly thinking of more ways to punish and imprison our legislators. That’s just common sense.
I’ll vote for whichever Republican candidate causes the most irrational freak outs.
ref: flag! coach: what's wrong? ref: nothing coach: no really, what's wrong? ref: nothing! i'm fine pic.twitter.com/qXCNm9OVYt
— Meninist (@MeninistTweet) April 3, 2015
My car is basically a $34,000 phone charger.
— Loco Eric (@ericsshadow) April 3, 2015
"IM A FREAKIN LEGEND" I yell at tourists downtown as I stand beside a map of my city, ready to interpret all the symbols and icons for them
— Rad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) April 4, 2015
"SHE'S A WITCH! BURN HER!!" *a nun steps forward* "That robe is SO 12th century" *crowd gasps* *the witch just bursts into flames*
— Miltgen (@Miltgen) April 4, 2015
Judge: and how does the defendant plead Lawyer: like this your honor *makes whiny voice *nooo I didn’t do any crimes* Judge: HAH do it again
— RollmanOfOz (@Rollmaninoz) April 5, 2015
"Baby stingrays look like raviolis stuffed with tiny damned souls." Just sayin' pic.twitter.com/R53GUG9JTc
— Mark Pahlow (@mcpheeceo) April 3, 2015
ME: heres our crew for the heist. tom– demolitions TOM: yo M: ed– inside man ED: yup M: pat– pizza orderer PAT: let me know of any allergies
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) April 5, 2015
The only thing that makes this Rolling Stone fabrication a journalistic outlier is the fact they were caught.
— jon gabriel (@exjon) April 6, 2015
What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) April 6, 2015
I suppose if I didn’t know what a law was, I’d be in favor of more of them too.
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) April 6, 2015
An alternate universe where the president throws the first punch of MMA season.
— ClarkHat (@ClarkHat) April 6, 2015
Getting nostalgic for when the left attacked marriage as an outdated institution instead of holding it up as the most important right ever.
While we have the image in our heads of large, lumbering dinosaurs, most weren’t very large at all. The majority were microscopic.
Been following reviews for my novel Superego on a number of different sites. It’s done best on Amazon – 4.7.
Amazon has some rating selection bias since you have to write a review to rate, so I think people who love or hate it most motivated.
Superego has done well on Goodreads. Not as familiar with the site, but don’t have to write review to rate.
The most ratings for Superego are on Audible.com. Also, the only two negative ratings.
Actually, I consider 3-stars a negative rating. That’s two whole stars of not liking it.
Anyway, on Audible, you have to own the book under Audible to rate it, but you don’t have to write a review.
I wouldn’t blame the narrator. I think he did a great job and got the tone right (and has been rated high in the reviews).
The only one star review (on Audible) wrote a review, and it’s pretty easy to dismiss him as crazy.
This is all very interesting. I’m used to instant feedback, but a novel is years to getting back what people think about it.
I’m really happy any read or enjoyed it at all, and I’m looking forward to getting out my next novel which I’m finishing up now.
Oh, and for everyone who’s enjoyed Superego so far, I’m working on a cool new project for it…
And a sequel to Superego is planned. Just need to finish up a couple other books first.
Once I got past the Yahoo Screen streaming issues, I’ve been absolutely loving the new episodes of Community.
Community has taken such a beating through the years (cast changes, losing show runner, cancellation), yet it still keeps finding its center.
We’re not taking religion out of marriage. We’re asking government to enforce one religious view over another.
If you believe in any parameters about marriage, you have a religious view on marriage. Non-religious view is “what the hell is marriage?”
That’s why current path we’re on is absolute nonsense (especially from libertarian perspective) and a recipe for continued conflict.
It’s like asking the government decide what constitutes a proper baptism and requiring others to participate.
Worth repeating: if you support the idea of the government defining what a marriage is, you’re a bad libertarian.
Bad, libertarian. Bad. *rolls up Constitution and hits libertarian on the nose*
Who wants a science fiction award given in honor of Hugo Chavez?
The SJWs attract all the craven people these days because you get to blame your lack of compassion on others.
“Love is love” is a really inane argument about marriage. For one, you should love lots of people, but you don’t marry them all.
And to say marriage should have anything to do with love is taking a religious view about it, and if the floor is open to religious views…
Another thing that should be obvious: If you’re not for plural marriages, then you place some value on the Christian view on marriage.
I’m usually libertarian, but I think you should have to submit a form proving extreme need before making a movie longer than 90 minutes.
The movie Lucy had too much gobbledygook for me. Was action movie with a 2001: A Space Odyssey ending.
I can put up with bad science and flighty philosophy if there was more tension and cool action sequences. #Lucy
Had pictures of me taking from various angles while making different expressions. Been a lot of new experiences this year.
Everyone should be reading Superego right now. What else could you be doing that is possibly more important?
Does Sally Kohn think a cigarette tax is government force? Because I’m pretty sure a guy got strangled over that.
If we had to hold a gun to someone’s head every time we wanted to force someone to do something, our arms would get tired. So we made laws.
Even more insistent than a personal trainer is a little kid yelling, “Do it again!”
Better Call Saul season finale was weird. Like almost Buffy season 4 finale weird. Definitely on board for next season, though.
A lot of people seemed scared of atheists, but do atheists actually exist? At PJ Media, I argue no.
Read. Enjoy. Discuss.
"Ninth Circuit is reversed." I presume they have a macro for that.
— Popehat (@Popehat) March 31, 2015
I've been watching this Caterpillar bulldozer for a few weeks now and I'm waiting for it to turn into a terrifying butterfly robot.
— Easter Antagonist (@AnOrangeSNES) March 31, 2015
Che Guevara: "Crazy with fury I will stain my rifle red while slaughtering any enemy!" Dude, calm down. You're just a t-shirt model.
— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) March 31, 2015
Teaching about world monuments is more complicated these days, because you have to explain there's another one of everything in Las Vegas.
— MKupperman (@MKupperman) March 31, 2015
There is a pretty tremendous irony in the host of The Daily Show complaining that people are taking him out of context.
— Political Math (@politicalmath) April 1, 2015
Hey MSM, hot angle: The Iranian negotiators would never cater a gay wedding. And yet the White House is trying to do business with them.
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) April 1, 2015
Don't compare yourself to a Selma marcher when you're unleashing the dogs and firehoses.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) April 2, 2015
The last time I heard this many people scream for pizza and cake it was at a toddler’s birthday party.
— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) April 2, 2015
[my dog viciously murders a person] Aww he thinks he’s people
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) April 2, 2015
When I see a man in shorts put an orange ball through a metal hole, I like to turn to other men and slap their hands while I am screaming.
— jeffrey cranor (@happierman) April 3, 2015
Freedom of religion more fundamental than free speech. Little point to free speech if not free to have different beliefs to speak about.
Our civil rights are determined by whoever is best at bullying.
Are we all done caring about the host of The Daily Show yet?
Boy, I hope Iran doesn’t nuke any country I’ve heard of.
I’m thinking there’s ways to get everyone cake with no one being forced against their beliefs, but I dare say I’m missing the point.
Point of Order: They now say there are a number of different genders out there, but is it bigoted if I’m only attracted to one?
I kinda feel for Trevor Noah. If I ever had any unfunny tweets, I wouldn’t want people to focus on them.
I know when I’m intellectually secure in my position, I do everything I can to shut down the possibility of debate.
I’m still fascinated by the fact that all the Better Call Saul episode titles end in ‘o’ except one. What does it mean?!
I guess we’ve advanced so much as a country that most of the discrimination we’re now fighting is only theoretical.
Christians have strongly held religious views on marriage. They have them now. They’ll have them a thousand years from now. Cope with it.
When Jesus pointed to Adam and Eve (one man, one woman) as God’s model for marriage, was he being hateful? Would we put up with that now?
So what’s next? “We found a plumber who if he hypothetically sold pizza said he would hypothetically not cater a gay wedding.”
“Kill! Crush! Destroy!” -robot AI gone bad; also, current civil right movement
It’s too bad Sylvester is known primarily for his attempted violence against Tweety Bird and not his tireless efforts to end the suffering of succotash.
“With this kinda sorta agreement with Iran, I have saved the world. I’m basically Superman.” -President Obama
“Oh, I love your shoes! Oh, mommy, they’re so pretty. When you die and I’m a grown-up, can I please wear them?” -my 4yo to her mother
Wisdom of the Day: Truck Week Employer Girl Lotto Naughty Good Iran Upside-Down Pallbearer Uncle Glock ParentingTuesday, March 31, 2015 5:00 pm
Every truck is a food truck if you're a cannibal
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 27, 2015
precisely. what's the problem? pic.twitter.com/gFBhtL73JD
— sadvil (@crylenol) March 27, 2015
Meet the woman who's job was saved by mentioning that her tweets don't represent the views of her employer
— Salon (@Salondotcom) March 28, 2015
Girl, are you a girl? Because I like girls.
— Rainbow Brite (@Cool_Jesse) March 28, 2015
FUN PRANK: 1. DVR a lotto drawing 2. Buy your wife a ticket with the drawn numbers 3. Play back drawing & pretend it's live 4. Hire a lawyer
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) March 28, 2015
Oh, you like naughty girls? *overwaters plant*
— Punkass Poison (@perchicoree) March 28, 2015
Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) March 28, 2015
Don't let a nuclear-armed Iran distract us from America's #1 threat – Indiana bakeries
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 29, 2015
Next book I write will have an upside down cover so whoever's reading it looks like an idiot.
— Jason Lastname (@JasonLastname) March 29, 2015
always the pallbearer never the corpse
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) March 29, 2015
We all have that ONE uncle who kills our dad and illegitimately assumes the kingship
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) March 29, 2015
ROBBER: gimme the $ or u get the glock CASHIER: never R: *pulls out glockenspiel and plays a moving piece* C: *crying* take it. take it all
— very nice kyle (@hippieswordfish) March 30, 2015
Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.
— ShesAMatzaGenius (@ShesARealGenius) March 30, 2015
For good satire, you need to get to the heart of the issue. I just can’t fathom thinking so lightly on a topic to get the Borowitz take.
I don’t like attacking someone else attempting to do humor — as we all fail — but he’s like a parody of intellectual laziness.
Maybe it’s like an Andy Kaufman routine, though, and he’s more brilliant than us all.
If you ever don’t like a tweet of mine, please note that it’s possible that at some point in time I was hacked.
We need to stop Christians from forcing their beliefs on us about how we shouldn’t be forcing beliefs on them.
If you’re a Dem who can’t admit Ted Kennedy was an awful person, then it’s hypocritical to attack a Republican for absolutely anything.
Left don’t have a live and let live attitude. They feel there are people out there with wrong viewpoints, and they want gov to punish them.
“If you destroy religious freedom, we’ll all get cake.” #TheCakeIsALie
Once there was a civil rights movement that wasn’t primarily dishonest posturing. I read about it in a history book.
I hadn’t paid attention to The Daily Show since Craig Kilborne left. What’s going on?
Don’t get the problem. Does host of The Daily Show need to be bright or does he need to be able to read a teleprompter and make funny faces?
The culture is very important. That’s where he keep all our cool stuff like TV and video games. That’s why fighting the Culture War is important. Thus, I’ve come up with some tips at PJ Media on how to do so.
Wars. Everyone loves them. Lately we’ve had the War on Drugs, the War on Terror, and the War on Women. But unlike those wars that come to an end when we defeat drugs, terror, and women, there is an unending war we’re all involved in: the Culture War.
Read. Enjoy. Discuss.
The main foe of abortion having greater acceptance are the people who fall in love with their children after the 10 week ultrasound.
I’m like super-confused now. Is it feminist or anti-feminist to portray women as delicate little flowers?
“Women should be in combat! But no clapping… that could scare them.”
I am busy on the final edits for my next novel. It will be a bit more light-hearted than Superego, though still not quite a comedy.
Remember: There’s an Audible version of Superego. Could listen for free with 30 day trial.
I assume I still get royalties even if you get it for free. I should probably look into that.
I’m really excited about how many people have enjoyed my first novel. Have other exciting stuff in the works I hope I can announce soon.
Maybe a way to market flu shots to college kids is to say they prevent viruses from committing microaggressions.
There isn’t someone reading this right now who hasn’t purchased a copy of Superego, right? That would make no sense whatsoever.
You have to admire the time Harry Reid argued that taxes are voluntary. It was very creative. He will be missed in the Senate.
My goal for the 2016 presidential election is to be as engaged as I was for the 1984 one (when I was five and only vaguely aware of it).
I think the reasonable thing to do would be to put Hillary Clinton in prison until she un-deletes her emails.
Finally watched John Wick. Pretty cool movie. Glad there’s going to be a sequel.
Only complaint: really indistinct dragon character. “Oh, that’s not Thug #3; that’s the guy who’s bested John Wick twice already.”
From John Wick, I’ve decided I’m going to practice the Center Axis Relock gun stance in case I need to kill a dozen people in close confines.
Liam Neeson from Taken is pretty much the standard for fathers these days, right?
When you’re asking the government to force someone to do something, you’ve become an oppressor. It doesn’t matter what your background is.
It’s quite fashionable to hatefully rail against perceived hate, but angry people filled righteousness never led to anything bad.
I find laws against bulletproof vests pretty funny. “The police need to be able to shoot you… for your own protection.”
So the guy who was Jacob in Lost also plays Lucifer in Supernatural season 5. That’s some weird type-casting.
Disney owns the muppets, too? If Disney ever decides to go evil, they can basically hold everything from our childhoods hostage.
I’m old enough to remember when the American left was liberal. Well, old enough to have read about it.
Science and religion are two separate things, and absolutely everyone practices both.
To support late term abortion but not infanticide makes no moral sense, as Gosnell obviously realized.
It’s a little bit disturbing how many people think the most pressing issue of the day is it’s too hard to kill tiny humans.
Why would anyone join Scientology anymore? Does anyone join a religion these days without first googling it?
The state will either protect religious freedom or end up imposing a religion. One or the other.
There’s a new Conservative Book Club!
Now, the thing is, conservatives needs more support of fiction. While we have numerous, well-known non-fiction books, those tend not to be read very much outside of the base of people who are already conservative. If we want to make inroads on influencing the culture, we need more fiction — book that perhaps non-political people will read. So it would be nice if you’d help encourage the Conservative Book Club to expand its fiction offering by joining up and rating my book and The Big Bang by Roy M. Griffis. If they see interaction in the fiction section, they might invest more into it. And then we’d maybe see more popular fiction by people who actually like liberty. So you’d not only be helping me, you’d helping the country.
You like this country, right? I know I do.
REPORTER: i'm here with a victim of identity theft. how has it affected you sir? WALRUS: *grabs mic* JOHN LENNON RUINED MY CREDIT SCORE
— very nice kyle (@hippieswordfish) March 18, 2015
Missed the “Glee” finale but I’ll just assume the whole thing happened in an autistic child’s snow globe.
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) March 21, 2015
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
— Terri Sanders (@pastaskin) March 22, 2015
Just got a call from a 555 number. It's probably a pretty girl from a movie.
— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) March 23, 2015
TREBEK: Yes Tyler ME: What is the answer TREBEK: Once again that is technically correct. And we will be amending that rule after this taping
— Tyler Schmall (@tylerschmall) March 23, 2015
[europe, 91 AD] We need a name for our tribe of murderous warriors "The Sweethearts?" No "The Huns” For some reason that’s better, good work
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) March 24, 2015
If you don’t have friends, make some just so you can talk about Superego. It will be worth the annoyance of friends.
Just a reminder that I am now old enough to be president. I promise to do nothing other than cash my check each week if elected.
Or does the president get paid biweekly? Or twice a month? Anyone know how that works?
And would it be possible to not have to move to D.C. if elected president? That place is full of weirdos and sociopaths.
Future headline to keep in mind if Ted Cruz takes charge in implementing his policies: “Cruz Control.” Lemme explain…
The Conservative Book Club doesn’t exactly have a large selection under “Fiction,” but it makes up for it in quality.
When watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I can’t get over what an egomaniac Mickey is. Everything has to be named after or shaped like him.
For a while, he even tried to call the Hot Dog Dance the “Mousekadance.” Come on, dude.
The less you like the Republican candidate in the primary, the less you’ll be disappointed by him later.
Hey, maybe in another decade FOX will revive Firefly for a couple episodes.
3-star reviews hurt. That’s two whole stars of not liking it. And stars are some of the largest objects in the universe.
“Loretta Lynch: She’ll help you in a pinch!” -slogan for if she wants to compete against Saul Goodman
Let’s look at these questions. Where do I most often interact with someone of another race? Well, it’s not at Starbucks.
If you spent all day at Starbucks, you’d probably be really curious about minorities too.
I’m mainly watching The Last Man on Earth out of curiosity of where in the world the story will go.