Award!

The Center for Disease Control (via their bright-eyed eager-beaver intern/gofer cptnmoroni) has honored IMAO with the “This Blog is Swine Flu Free” Award.

We at IMAO know that the only way to prevent swine flu is to kill all pigs. Then eat their flesh because it’s incredibly tasty. And use their fat to lubricate the barrels of our rifles when we go out hunting Islamic terrorists.

Please note: although Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman have incredibly prominent nostrils, they are not pigs, just Democrats. Do not kill, eat, or vote for these people.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 3 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Sean G of Too Much Liberty has honored IMAO with the “Too Much Liberty Official Seal of Approval: ‘You know you’d hit that, man'” Award.

As much as we at IMAO enjoy receiving awards, I gotta say that I find that image a little disturbing. I mean, sure, it’s merely implied, and maybe it’s even just photoshopped to look that way, but still…

It’s just CREEPY how Canadian that guy looks.

*shudder*


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 3 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Joel (who has some fiction for your perusal over here, but is mostly blogless and settles for occasionally de-lurking in IMAO’s comments) has honored IMAO with the “GOLDEN SPACE MONKEY AWARD: This prize has been awarded to IMAO because we excavated a radioactive crater on the moon and all we found was this lousy Golden Space Monkey. It should be safe as long as you don’t lick it” Award.

It’s nice that Joel put a warning label on this, but I served on board the USS Enterprise and I was collecting photons from the reactor long before that filthy commie Chekov snuck on board my nuclear wessel. Radiation doesn’t frighten me.

Although it SHOULD frighten YOU. Ever notice that my posts tend to glow just a little bit brighter than Frank’s?

Leave all the comments you want. Just don’t lick the screen.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 3 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Derek of Awesometific American has honored IMAO with the “Awesometific American Awards IMAO: Over The Top Awesomeness – I’m Sorry, I Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of How Awesome I Am” Award.

I think it’s very fitting that Captain Kirk is pictured in this award, since Frank J. was once buried under an avalanche of Tribbles, and I once beat the crap out of Ricardo Montalban in the Engineering room of the USS Enterprise using only my bare hands and an inexplicably handy vacuum cleaner attachment.

Very long stories, both. Remind me to share them sometime.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Steven has honored IMAO with the “Here There Be Tygers Award For Blindly Heading Off Into Uncharted Territories” Award.

Some people fear the unknown. At IMAO, we assume it’s some sort of hippie, punch it in the face, steal it’s lunch money, then walk away laughing and singing a little pirate ditty.

Conventional wisdom – totally not our thing. Especially the wisdom part.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader David has honored IMAO with the “IMAO Awesomeness – When Only A Major Award Will Do” Award.

If you don’t recognize that picture, it’s a scene from “A Christmas Story”, wherein Papa bursts with pride over his acquisition of a leg-shaped lamp, much to the chagrin of his wife, who is probably a little put out that her own legs lack such delicious curvature and definition.

And so it is with every other blog in existence, gazing with the bitterest envy at the awesome curvature and definition of the chortle-fest that is IMAO.

I weep at the miserable existence of these lesser beings.

As a mercy, we should invade their blogs, kill their authors, and convert them to IMAOianity.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 3 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Kim Jong Il (via his pinko factotum Ron Rockstar) has honored IMAO with the “Kim Gives IMAO Big Dong Award” Award.

This award means a lot to us here at IMAO, since Frank & I are long-time admirers of Kim’s work. Sure, we tease him occasionally about his glasses, hairstyle, and megalomaniacally ruthless oppression of his citizenry, but it’s all in good fun.

I hope that someday Obama will take a page from Kim’s book and realize that just because you’re a fanatical supporter of communism doesn’t mean you have to be a humorless enema bag all the time.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Mark has honored IMAO with the “Best Blog That Used To Have A Podcast Award” Award.

I’m constantly being asked (and by “constantly”, I mean “never”) “when are you guys gonna start podcasting again?”

To which I reply “never”.

Which usually elicits a plaintive, high-pitched “but WHYYYYYYY?”

For the same reason Awards! are JPG files, not MP3 files – efficiency.

We at IMAO respect and value our readers’ time. The average speech rate on a podcast is 200 words per minute. The average speech rate of a picture is 1000 words per second. This makes posting funny pictures 30,000% more efficient than talking about them, and leaves readers more time to spend admiring the awesomeness of Sarah Palin.

But all this podcast talk is just a distraction from the REAL question:

How come nobody leaves “First!” comments anymore?


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award post), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Dennis Michael Tenney of 10eBrothers has honored IMAO with the “IMAO Wins #1 Blog Award Amongst Brain Eating Zombies” Award.

Now, if you’re like most people, you have mixed feelings about zombies. Sure, they’re fun to shoot in the head, but there’s always the risk that the shambling bastards will swarm you and eat your brains before you can make it to the truck with that hot chick that you met in that shack you were holed up in.

And it doesn’t help that zombie attacks are only slightly less common than swine flu these days.

But now there’s hope for you.

If you’re attacked by zombies, just tell them how much you love IMAO. They’ll give you a very slow high five, then totter off to feed on some guy in a suit who can’t believe his car picked today to break down and make him late for a very important meeting.

NOTE: Still caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Socrates of Socrates’ Academy has honored IMAO (well, Frank J., anyway) with the “Really Smart Blogger” Award.

Please note that IMAO is NOT “Democrat smart” as in “smart power“, “smart grid“, or “smart Biden“.

IMAO is smart as in when we punch filthy, tree-hugging liberals, they cry like little girls and say “That really smarts!”.

NOTE: Still caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle