Award!

Reader David has honored IMAO with the “IMAO Awesomeness – When Only A Major Award Will Do” Award.

If you don’t recognize that picture, it’s a scene from “A Christmas Story”, wherein Papa bursts with pride over his acquisition of a leg-shaped lamp, much to the chagrin of his wife, who is probably a little put out that her own legs lack such delicious curvature and definition.

And so it is with every other blog in existence, gazing with the bitterest envy at the awesome curvature and definition of the chortle-fest that is IMAO.

I weep at the miserable existence of these lesser beings.

As a mercy, we should invade their blogs, kill their authors, and convert them to IMAOianity.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 3 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Kim Jong Il (via his pinko factotum Ron Rockstar) has honored IMAO with the “Kim Gives IMAO Big Dong Award” Award.

This award means a lot to us here at IMAO, since Frank & I are long-time admirers of Kim’s work. Sure, we tease him occasionally about his glasses, hairstyle, and megalomaniacally ruthless oppression of his citizenry, but it’s all in good fun.

I hope that someday Obama will take a page from Kim’s book and realize that just because you’re a fanatical supporter of communism doesn’t mean you have to be a humorless enema bag all the time.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Mark has honored IMAO with the “Best Blog That Used To Have A Podcast Award” Award.

I’m constantly being asked (and by “constantly”, I mean “never”) “when are you guys gonna start podcasting again?”

To which I reply “never”.

Which usually elicits a plaintive, high-pitched “but WHYYYYYYY?”

For the same reason Awards! are JPG files, not MP3 files – efficiency.

We at IMAO respect and value our readers’ time. The average speech rate on a podcast is 200 words per minute. The average speech rate of a picture is 1000 words per second. This makes posting funny pictures 30,000% more efficient than talking about them, and leaves readers more time to spend admiring the awesomeness of Sarah Palin.

But all this podcast talk is just a distraction from the REAL question:

How come nobody leaves “First!” comments anymore?


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award post), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Dennis Michael Tenney of 10eBrothers has honored IMAO with the “IMAO Wins #1 Blog Award Amongst Brain Eating Zombies” Award.

Now, if you’re like most people, you have mixed feelings about zombies. Sure, they’re fun to shoot in the head, but there’s always the risk that the shambling bastards will swarm you and eat your brains before you can make it to the truck with that hot chick that you met in that shack you were holed up in.

And it doesn’t help that zombie attacks are only slightly less common than swine flu these days.

But now there’s hope for you.

If you’re attacked by zombies, just tell them how much you love IMAO. They’ll give you a very slow high five, then totter off to feed on some guy in a suit who can’t believe his car picked today to break down and make him late for a very important meeting.

NOTE: Still caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Socrates of Socrates’ Academy has honored IMAO (well, Frank J., anyway) with the “Really Smart Blogger” Award.

Please note that IMAO is NOT “Democrat smart” as in “smart power“, “smart grid“, or “smart Biden“.

IMAO is smart as in when we punch filthy, tree-hugging liberals, they cry like little girls and say “That really smarts!”.

NOTE: Still caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Mad_Hatter has honored IMAO with the “IMAO IS THE BEST LIB-TARD HATING, DINOSAUR BREEDING, HIPPIE PUNCHING, MONKEY TORTURING, REPTILE ARMING BLOG” Award.


[It’s an animated .gif file… wait for it]

Readers should note that not only is IMAO the best blog in all the above-mentioned categories, IMAO is also the best floor-wax/dessert-topping combination, having recently edged out Shimmer in a nationwide poll.

IMAO is also the best peanut butter, as we are continually chosen by choosy moms over that off-colored drywall-spackle, Jif.

NOTE: All caught up again. Send ’em if ya got ’em.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Justin of Justin’s Random thoughts has honored IMAO with the “Jack Bauer Won’t Torture This Blog” Award.

Which is a relief, since if Jack Bauer did torture this blog, Nancy Pelosi would pretend she didn’t know about it and not lift a finger to stop it. However, six years later, she’d attempt to prosecute the engineers who designed the taser.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award post), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Corona has honored IMAO with the “This Blog Is Almost As Funny As Ace” Award.

Huh. I’ve always been told we were almost as funny as Scrappleface. I guess we’re moving up the food chain.

Still, in a battle between our respective supercool blog logos, an atomic weapons explosion on a natural planetary satellite beats the ol’ skull/sabers/playing card combo the way Batman beats Aquaman.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award post), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader Anon Y. Mous has honored IMAO with the “Once I Bail This Place Out, It Won’t Be Half Bad!” Award.

I would just like to assure all IMAO investors that this site is on firm financial footing and is NOT seeking bailout money from the federal government.

However, because we ARE on the Department of Homeland Security right-wing extremist watchlist (especially Frank, since he recruited a veteran), we may need money to get out on bail, which is completely different.

So if the tagline changes to “Unfair. Unbalanced. Under Arrest”… send cash immediately.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award post), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Reader RightWingTink has honored IMAO with the “Your Blog Doesn’t Belong In a Trashbin” Award.

On the surface, this award seems sweet and complimentary, but it’s actually rude and offensive. Trashbins are the gleaming, gold-leafed apex of Western Civilization. They’re what separate us from rat-infested, third-world hell-holes like Haiti and France, where trash is thoughtlessly left to rot and fester in streets and Béarnaise sauce, respectively.

I say that if ANY blog belongs in a decent, sturdy, union-tended, mob-controlled, patriotic, all-American trashbin, it’s IMAO.

But I guess it’s the thought that counts, so IMAO humbly & gratefully accepts this award.

Or maybe it’s grumbly and hatefully. Either way, an award’s an award.

NOTE: I’m all caught up now, so this is a great time to submit an award for those who have trouble delaying gratification.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Tanfa of Right Wing Extreme has honored IMAO with the “Right Wing X Extreme Blog Award YOU ROCK!” Award.

Technically, IMAO doesn’t “rock”. It’s more of a neo-jazz-reggae-alternative-polka-classical-krump-elevator-metal-swing-rap-bluegrass fusion sorta thing. Still, we humbly and gratefully accept this award.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 1 Award post), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Fred & Jeri of The Fred Thompson Show have honored IMAO with the “FRED IS AMUSED” Award.

A couple years back, Frank wrote:

Fred Thompson has such self-control that he has only laughed once during the entire five year history of IMAO… and it was probably at something Harvey wrote.

Apparently sometime since then, someone (probably Frank) got another laugh out of Fred – thus this award.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Doug of The Pegu Blog has honored IMAO with the “The Pegu Blog ‘Best Read While Drinking’ Blog Award” Award.

We at IMAO remind all readers to drink responsibly. Do not consume alcoholic beverages if you are not of legal age in your state of residence. If you are celebrating Cinco de Cinco today, do not accept alcohol from Mexicans with warm foreheads, or from Joe Biden while travelling on an airplane.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Morgan of House of Eratosthenes has honored IMAO with the “House of Eraosthenes The Blog That Nobody Reads Recognizes IMAO” Award.

Although we at IMAO are always pleased to be recognized (despite our only going out in public wearing dark glasses and rainbow wigs), we do apologize to H.o.E. if accepting this award ruins the blog’s tagline and accidentally makes somebody read it.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle

Award!

Adagioforstrings of Noli Insipientium Iniurias Pati honored IMAO with the “Dino-soar Award” Award.

With Obama killing the Flying Velociraptor Project, someone has to rise to counter the threat of North Korea launching a rocket capable of putting an Allosaurus into orbit.

IMAO is proud to fill that role, and humbly and gratefully accepts this award.


FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Send to Kindle