If you’ve ever been eating brunch and your slice of crispy bacon had a delicious run-in with the maple syrup from your waffle, you need to stop reading and just click BUY NOW. This is your condiment. The condiment to end all other condiments. On those mornings when you have time for toast but not enough to fry up some bacon, Bacon Jam will come to your rescue.
Bacon Jam is made with love by Kay, a woman who knows her jams, jellies, and bacon. It’s a combination of bacon, onion, garlic, honey, maple syrup, coffee, and spices. Sweet and savory, Bacon Jam is delicious on toast, muffins, biscuits, even waffles. We’ll warn you, though, once you’ve had a taste of Bacon Jam, you won’t go back to mere fruity jams. You’ll be ruined saved for life.
It is said that bacon is the perfect food; rich in protein, it builds strong muscles and that salty sweet and savory combination is like ambrosia mixed with heaven with just a dash of bliss. Bacon is life. It is known, Khaleesi. It is known.
We’ve managed to work bacon into as many products in an attempt to make them better, and until someone is able to inject bacon into bacon itself, the confluence of which will undoubtedly cause the abandonment of all lesser foods forever, we still have work to do. Delicious smokey work.
So why not welcome your guests to your home with the gift of bacon on their feet? I know it sounds weird, but when you see how beautiful this rendered doormat looks, you’ll salivate with desire.
Time to riot in San Francisco like you just saw a bad YouTube video:
Bacon Restaurant Shut Down For Smelling Like Bacon
A San Francisco bacon restaurant, fittingly called “Bacon Bacon,” was forced to shut its door on Friday after neighbors complained that the “porcine aroma” wafting from the establishment was too strong…
There is a secret code amongst all men that consists of three B’s. Each of these B’s symbolizes one facet of what men consider manly: Bacon, Beards, and Boyz II Men. Some say the last B is Backstreet Boys, but we say that makes 4 B’s and ruins everything. The three B’s of Manliness require daily completion so that an individual may leave his home at his peak manliness. This can be easily completed with breakfast, a shave, and “On Bended Knee.” But, if you don’t have the time for three things, may we suggest consolidating the first two with Bacon Shaving Cream.
Just like the ladies sneaking in blue Chucks on their wedding day for something blue, Bacon Shaving Cream removes the necessity for breakfast and frees up more time to beat rush hour traffic. Or, it lets you listen to a second track from the hit album “II”. Every man needs the three B’s and some days there just isn’t enough time. So, consolidate like a man.
Huh… I always thought the 3rd B of manliness was “Bieber“…
[CAUTION: Link above contains gratuitous cinematic violence]
A 105-year-old Texas woman has earned a place in almost all headlines by revealing the most unlikely secret to her long life.
Strangely, her key to longevity is bacon. Yes, you read it right; 105-year-old Pearl Cantrell loves to eat bacon and feasts on it almost every day. Her story, for sure, will be a subject of research for most health scientists.
Pearl Cantrell, who’s mostly referred to as the ’105-year-old bacon woman’, said in an interview with a local NBC station, “I love bacon and I eat it everyday. I don’t feel as old as I am, that’s all I can say.”
As Bill Whittle rightly reminds us, we are “the remnant” and there are more of us than we know about. We come together in places like this much like the early Christians did in the catacombs. We bolster each other’s spirits and fuel each other’s flame for freedom.
Which made me recall that early Christians used to covertly signal to each other with the Fish symbol.
So… what symbol should the last of America’s freedom-lovers (or, if we’re fortunate, the first of their return) use to covertly signal to each other?
“Look into the heart of darkness of this pitch black beauty. Take in the sweet caramel and roasted malty notes on the nose with a suggestion of the bacon goodness within. This full-bodied, rich and creamy oatmeal stout trots out a bold, unbridled taste that comes from a unique infusion of local Ottawa Valley heritage-raised ‘Pork of Yore’ fine bacon.”
Over 13kg of bacon was used for every 780 litre batch brewed — and was fried up personally by the owners of the brewery.
Unfortunately, only available in the Ottawa area.
In America, try Rogue’s Bacon Maple Ale, which can actually be shipped to you (except for Utah, Massachusetts, Texas and North Dakota).
If you want to make a food product even more desirable, there is one thing you can do. You can wrap it in bacon. Shrimp, pork, human – everything tastes better when wrapped in bacon. So, why not apply this principle to gifts you bestow? Now you can, with Bacon Wrapping Paper.
Wrapping presents in Bacon Wrapping Paper isn’t just fun for you. It will let the giftee know how much you really care about them. Think of that, then, as you send your off your package waving. Snail mail gifts are still the bestest, and even better when wrapped in Bacon Wrapping Paper. Save the real bacon for yourself!
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