When Obama tries to talk like a pirate, I hope he fails.

When Obama drives this and tries to convince people he’s not gay, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to evade capture by using black magic to turn himself into a goat, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to make a saving throw against poison so his 14th level half-elf mage survives a green dragon attack, I hope he fails.

(from Exurbankevin)

When Obama tries to play a cute little April Fools joke on his kids, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to open clamshell packaging, I hope he fails.

There’s been a lot of chatter about whether or not the president should fail. Really, the only way to settle this important matter is with a pointless poll. And, by they way, failure to vote in this poll could be catastrophic for the economy and your complexion.

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When Obama tries to get the prize at the bottom of his cereal box, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to avoid the chutes and only hit ladders, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to figure which is the left shoe and which is the right shoe, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to explain away his stupidity on the Tonight Show, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to set his Tivo to record Grey’s Anatomy, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to obtain both Boardwalk and Park Place, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to chew gum and walk at the same time, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to find what’s wrong with the picture in the latest issue of Highlights, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to get his head unstuck from a desk drawer, I hope he fails.

When Obama tries to remember the correct order for putting on shoes and socks this morning, I hope he fails.