Obama’s got a problem.
Mitt Romney went and picked himself a running mate who’s young, buff, and has dreamy blue eyes, as well as his own “Hey Girl” internet meme.
Yeah, he’s got a total lock on the female demographic now (except for crazy-cat-ladies-in-training like Andrea Mitchell). Basically Romney’s VP is the guy chicks think about while reading “50 Shades of Grey”.
Obama’s got… Joe Biden.
Goofy, gaffe-machine Joe Biden, with all the sex appeal of Uncle Fester. Although maybe not even that much, because at least SOME women like bald guys.
But there’s still time for Obama to strike back. Biden can be replaced, and Obama might be desperate enough to try it.
Here’s my best guesses as to Barack’s short-list to get the female vote back:
The only thing women find more appealing than Paul Ryan.
1) Ellen DeGeneres – Hey, at least she knows how to look good in a suit & tie.
2) Hillary Clinton – She’s like the ugly, cankly best friend women keep around to make themselves look better by comparison when they go to bars.
3) Al Franken – Chicks love a guy with a sense of humor, and he really knows how to stuff the ol’ ballot box.
4) Harry Reid – He’ll never tell you your ass looks fat in those jeans, because an anonymous caller will tell him you don’t.
5) Anthony Weiner – He knows what a girl wants to see on Twitter
6) Alan Grayson – The crazy, dangerous guy you date to get back at your dad for not hugging you enough as a child.
7) John Kerry – Yeah, he looks like Frankenstein, but he’s got two wives’ worth of money and he won’t live forever.
8) Michael Bloomberg – A good nanny is hard to find, and Bloomberg’s about one chimney-sweep away from flying with an umbrella.
9) John Edwards – He’s got more philandering, bad-boy charm than a Kennedy, plus he knows all the best moisturizers. Silky!
10) Any pale, sparkling guy with enough lipstick. David Bowie, maybe?
Whoever Obama picks, that still leaves the problem of how to get rid of Biden. I suggest taking him out into the woods, fake-throwing a tennis ball, and driving off.