Archive for the ‘Obama Ate a Dog’ Category

Nuke the News: When Will Obama Address His Dog-Eating?

Monday, April 23, 2012 11:00 am

* As you can see in the Village Voice post Harvey linked this morning, some liberals seem to be having trouble understanding what’s so funny about the president eating a dog and why the right keeps making jokes about it. I’ll try to explain: OBAMA ATE A DOG!

* Obama still hasn’t addressed the American people about his dog eating. There are many unanswered questions, such as is he sorry about it, and how many dogs has he eaten, and when did he last eat one, and will he promise to America’s children whether he’ll stop eating their puppies. People need to know, yet he stands there silent… perhaps digesting a dog.

And hey, Obama, it’s either talk about this or about what a lousy president you are.

* Got a fund raising email from Newt Gingrich touting how he’s the last conservative left in the presidential race. Come on, dude. I mean, there’s being positive, and there’s being a crazy psycho. You’re kind of teetering over the edge there.

* So how is everyone adjusting to the knowledge that Romney is our nominee? It could be worse. He’s well-spoken, he has economic knowledge, and he’s never eaten a dog. We could win this.

* Zimmerman is out of prison on bail. I notice how many on the left are super hopeful they can turn this Zimmerman thing into a push for more gun control — as they were the last couple high profile shootings to no effect. They don’t really think these things through. Like, how many people are honestly worried about getting shot by the neighborhood watch? I’d think most of those people are criminals, and they don’t usually turn out in large numbers at the polls despite how much that would help the Democrats. Yet, hopeful liberals are always thinking that anytime a tragedy happens people will just throw up their hands and say, “That’s it; let’s give up on this freedom idea. Liberals: You tell us what to do to keep us safe.” Not going to happen; not while there’s a few people left who call themselves Americans with pride.

* Here’s an interesting idea: Have people for Congress chosen at random. Like jury duty (BTW, I just got a summons for jury duty — it sucks!). I can see a lot of advantages to it, as this whole electing people give those idiots an inflated sense of pride that wouldn’t happen if they were just chosen at random. And it’s not like we could accidentally find anyone too dumb for the job — it’s just voting yes or no on stuff. It’s worth consideration; random means less of a chance we end up with sociopaths as our current election system seems specially designed to weed them out of society and put them in positions of power.

* Wisdom of the Day from Jim Treacher:

To all my liberal friends: Just imagine how much fun you’d have had if George Bush was a dog-eater. Then double it. #ObamaEatsDogs

* Jay Leno has noticed that Republicans are more willing to laugh at themselves than Democrats are. I’ve certainly noticed that; at times, one could almost perceive IMAO as making fun of conservatives as we find it funny to laugh at our stereotypes. I don’t see the same thing very much with the left — part of that is because they consider their politics super serial, and the other is they lack self-awareness.

That’s okay. They don’t have to make jokes about themselves; we’ll gladly do that for them.

Did you hear that the president ate a dog?

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UPDATE: Linked by The Daily Caller

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Random Thoughts: Obama Eating a Dog Is Still Funny

Monday, April 23, 2012 9:31 am

Romney won’t eat a cookie, Obama will eat a dog… WHAT’S THE WORLD COMING TO?!!

Did anyone really believe the neighbors and police all made up Zimmerman’s injuries? This is a street shooing, not an X-Files conspiracy.

I’d shake Obama’s hand for how he’s protecting us from all those greedy rich people, but I don’t have a spare $1000.

You people aren’t getting it; the reason Obama ate a dog is because he’s experienced other cultures and is better than you.

I dream of a future for my children where race hustlers are shunned as much as racists.

Obama really needs to do a prime-time speech in which he assures the nation’s children he will stop eating their pets.

HER: “Albatross is a bird? Since it’s from that ‘water water everywhere’ poem, I thought it was a fish.”

Fact: Obama ate a dog. Fact in Context: DUDE ATE A DOG!!1!11!!

I don’t think Obama eating a dog disqualifies him from the presidency. It just make him a weirdo we should all be very very suspicious of.

Not sure how I’d work Obama’s dog eating into “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything.” I guess it makes him cultured.

I guess the writing half of my career is like the engineering half in that I have no idea what I’m doing but I seem to be succeeding.

Man, I got a summons for jury duty… on my birthday! Stupid government.

Never had jury duty before. How do I get out of this? Just tell them I’m racist? I don’t like races.

Can’t I just explain to them I’m an important engineer and writer? Aren’t there old people who can do this instead?

It’s not that I don’t like justice; I just don’t care that much about it.

What I hate about the courthouse is that it’s full of criminals yet they won’t let me bring a gun.

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Treacher Trolls Village Voice Over Obama Dog Jokes, Hilarity Ensues

Monday, April 23, 2012 8:30 am

Don’t know which is funnier – the fact that the snooties at Village Voice “slammed” Frank J with an Evelyn Waugh reference because his OBAMA ATE A DOG jokes hurt their feelings, or the fact that in the comments, Jim Treacher trolls the crap out of the Village Voice readership, and they just keep crying louder and coming back for more:

Just a small sample:

Daphne: ya know tho, in a way he is winning. Not the contest he imagines, of course, but the doubling down on a pathetic punchline must be worthy of some kind of prize.

itisdancing: Well, he has some competition in the second grade. Although he has a better attention span than the average second-grader. You have to give him that.

Jim Treacher: Did you hear the one about Obama eating a dog?

Jim Treacher: The prize is your anger.

itisdancing: Anger? Oh, you poor dear.

Jim Treacher: In your case, it’s just strong irritation. Daphne, though… my word.

Q: How many Village Voice readers does it take to defend Obama’s dog-eating?


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Volunteers Wanted: Obama Ate a Dog Singalong Project

Sunday, April 22, 2012 12:41 am

Innomonatus is taking the whole “Obama Ate a Dog” thing in a new and interesting direction:

I’ve just started on my next parody song, “We don’t eat dogs” to the tune of We Are the World… It would be EPICALLY AWESOME if everybody in our little corner of the blogosphere contributed a line or two, as was done in the original.

Basically what he’s asking for is volunteers to record themselves singing a couple lines. He’ll write the lyrics and do all the mixing. All you have to do is make a tiny little audio file & email it to him.

And don’t let lack of singing ability stop you. Remember, Bob Dylan sang in the original “We Are the World”, and that man couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket with a forklift.

Details here.

Tell him Harvey sent you.

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Frequently Asked Questions: Mitt Romney and Cookiegate

Friday, April 20, 2012 4:17 pm

Having been completely decimated in the Wars on both Women and Dogs that they themselves started, Democrats are now going hammer & tongs to change the narrative to the “War on Cookies,” somehow believing that THIS time they’ll come out on top.

Since everyone’s too freaked out by the fact that President Obama has proudly proclaimed that HE ATE A DOG to pay attention to what’s going on elsewhere, I’m offering this little FAQ to help explain the situation that the vapid make-up mannikins in the liberal media are desperately trying to label “Cookiegate.”

You’d never catch Obama snubbing fresh bakery cookies

What is Cookiegate?

At a campaign event in Pennsylvania, Mitt Romney was viewing a spread of various picnic foods and commented, “I’m not sure about these cookies. They don’t look like you made them… they came from the local 7-Eleven… bakery or wherever.” Turns out they were from a local bakery that was offended at being compared to a soulless, multinational corporation that uses Chinese orphan-labor to produce it’s baked goods.

Too complicated. Let’s start with the basics. What’s a cookie?

A small piece of tracking code that websites download to your computer which can be printed out and served at picnics.

Has Mitt Romney ever strapped a cookie to the roof of his car?

A liberal media distortion. He placed cookies into a picnic basket to protect them from the elements and then strapped the basket to the roof of his car.

Is it true that President Obama once ate a cookie?

Undetermined. Obama mentions it in his autobiography, “Treats From My Father,” but some sources say that cookies are actually quite scarce in Indonesia, and that eating them is generally frowned upon.

Ewwww! Why would anyone eat a cookie?

Some people believe that consuming an oven-prepared confection gives you the powers of that confection. This seemingly bizarre belief probably stems from the fact that habitual cookie-eaters eventually become round and doughy.

Interesting theory. Does Obama now seem to possess magical cookie-powers?

No. Although he sometimes acts in a cookie-like fashion, only actual cookies have the power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, and to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States.

Ok, so what’s a “gate” have to do with anything? Did Romney use a cookie to access an area enclosed by a fence?

No, the suffix “-gate” is typically applied to words as a shorthand way of indicating a political scandal. It comes from the Watergate Hotel, which operatives of President Nixon’s reelection campaign broke into to steal cookies from in June of 1972.

Did Nixon have a cookie?

A common misconception. Nixon had a dog named Checkers, who was shipped to Indonesia and eaten by a 10-year-old Barack Obama that same year.

Are there any cookie-eaters in the United States?

Although once quite popular in some isolated populations, the practice fell out of favor around the time that Sesame Street turned Cookie Monster into Fruity Monster.

What is The Matrix?

It’s very much like a cookie, except with better sunglasses. The other notable difference being that no one ever complains that the second and third cookies aren’t as good as the first.

Hope that clears things up.

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Obama’s Got a New Nickname

Friday, April 20, 2012 3:23 pm

[High Praise! to Hunter]

Yeah, that’s not a typo.

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Nuke the News: Still on the Dog Thing

Friday, April 20, 2012 11:00 am

In my new New York Post column, I talk about how on spending, our country is a car speeding towards a cliff. That gives us two options: The boring one and the Evel Knievel one.

I know it’s a little scary, and some of you recall that your mother warned you not to jump off cliffs just because other kids were doing it. But what if one of the people urging you to go over a cliff is Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman? Then it’s probably worth ignoring your mother and trying.

Read. Laugh. Share. Bathe.

* We thought Obama eating a dog was bad, but then look what Romney did: he said something insulting about a cookie. On the ridiculous outrage scale from 0 to “Ate a Dog”, it ranks at OBAMA ATE A DOG!!!

* Obama is a man of the people, and for $1000 you can shake his hand. For $2000, he won’t eat your dog.

* There’s also a new fundraiser where you get to meet Obama and George Clooney at George Clooney’s house. Lassie was also going to be there, but, well, you know.


* Some are wondering whether Obama actually did eat dog because dog meat is hard to find in Indonesia. Of course, Obama’s step dad sought out those meats including grasshopper and snake so that he and Obama could absorb their powers. Which leads to the obvious question: Did it work? Did Obama get snake powers? He certainly didn’t get loyalty powers from eating a dog.

* Reid is constantly trying to set the record for dumbest thing said in the Capitol… even though he’s always just trying to top the record he set previously. For this entry, he rambled on about how much old people love junk mail. When are we finally going to put him in a home? He just seems so lost and confused by everything all the time. He could accidentally do something crazy like EAT A DOG.

* Michelle Bachmann used the phrase “tar baby” and some people think that’s racist. I thought we went over this before when Tony Snow use the term: It’s not racist and you’re an idiot.

I keep wondering if people are going to call this Obama eats a dog stuff racist. Eating a dog is not a black stereotype, though; that’s just an Obama thing. Because he’s weird.

* People are going to receive unemployment while working. Here’s an idea: Why don’t you just not take away the tax money for that in the first place. Same effect, but with less costly bureaucracy in between.

I don’t know how to relate this one to Obama eating a dog.

* Even Senator McCain is making fun of Obama eating a dog. I would have thought this would be the sort of thing he would have called off limits in his 2008 campaign, but I guess one just can’t help but make fun of it. THE DUDE ATE A DOG!!!11!!elventy!1!!!

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Random Thoughts: Dog Cookies

Friday, April 20, 2012 9:42 am

Did I miss March Madness?

Maybe Obama can convince people he’s just like them by writing another memoir.

I just thumbed up a Nickelback song on Pandora. Take that, civilization!

The fact that God made the world in seven days is even more impressive when you realize it wasn’t until the third day that He made the coffee bean.

I don’t get the “silver spoon” crack Obama made. Why is he going after his own daughters?

Gingrich has Secret Service to protect him from terrorists who want to kill the future president and don’t follow politics very well.

If I were the president’s political adviser, I’d tell him not to eat another dog until after the election.

If that seems hard, he could try eating cats like Alf. No one cares about cats. Or Alf.

I charge $500 an hour for my political advice. It’s a bargain.

As I understand it, the new scandal is that Obama is baking dogs into cookies and trying to trick Romney into eating them.

OBAMA: “Why is the Senator from California here?”
AIDE: “I thought you said you wanted Boxer for dinner.”

I hate it when a country list on a website doesn’t put USA first. We didn’t win those wars to have to hunt through a dropdown.

If an old person had to perform a simple task in linux, I think it would kill him.

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Tastes Like… Ricky Schroder???

Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:55 pm

OBAMA: “I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”

Nope. It wasn’t a Silver Spoon… it was a Golden Retriever!

He is never gonna live this one down, folks. This is comedy gold! All your talking points are belong to us!!!

[♪ Together we’re gonna find our way… ♪]


•OBAMA to ROMNEY: “You don’t tie a dog to the roof of your car, everyone knows you tie the meat to the front grill!”

•ROMNEY had a dog on the roof of his car… OBAMA had a dog on the roof of his mouth!

•”Look out, Bo! That’s not a bathtub… it’s a roasting pan!!!”

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Link of the Day: Did Obama Lie About Eating Dog?

Thursday, April 19, 2012 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to Joan of Argghh!]

Indonesian Source: Obama Would Have to Hunt for Dog Meat in Jakarta

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Nuke the News: Obama Still Ate a Dog

Thursday, April 19, 2012 11:00 am

* BREAKING NEWS: It’s still true that Obama ate a dog.

* Romney says this election is about jobs, though, and not which presidential candidate may or may not be tempted to eat fluffy little puppies. In fact, what is the worse label for Obama: “dog-eater” or “guy responsible for the current state of the economy”?

Some of the Obama-bots are still trying to rescue the dog issue for Obama as they would much rather fight on that field than the more substantial issues where Obama has failed immensely. I even had a number of people on Twitter try to insist that what Romney did was super serious but what Obama did isn’t important. To which the proper response is “OBAMA ATE A DOG!!!” If the Dems want silly side-issues, the dog-eating president is going to star.

* Millionaire Obama is trying to strike against Romney’s wealth saying, “I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.” Okay, what’s less relatable to: guy with silver spoon in mouth or guy with dog in his mouth?

And is Obama claiming he can relate to the common man because he built himself up with such normal blue collar jobs as “community organizer” and “memoir writer”? He’s just a normal guy like you who eats dog, hangs out with domestic terrorists, and goes to a crazy racist preacher ranting about the CIA creating AIDS. And he ate a dog. Did I already mention that?

* I’d like to thank the GSA for demonstrating government spending in such a clear way. It’s nice to know what the money would go to if we raised taxes on the rich. See, the choice is never do we want the rich or the poor to have the money, it’s whether we want people who are responsible with their money to keep it or whether that should instead be taken and given to people who are extremely irresponsible with money. If you choose the later, please punch yourself until you understand the error of your ways.

* The Secret Service are meeting with Ted Nugent. And they’re going to do it in Colombia. It’s going to be a crazy party.

* Young people are apparently not excited about Obama or Romney this election year. That’s cool; we really need to start teaching people at a young age to despise all politicians.

* Acura is in trouble for having a casting call for one of their ads where they wanted an African-American who wasn’t “too dark”. The funny thing is, they could have just put out a casting call for a white guy and not gotten into any trouble. Acting is that last place where blatant racial discrimination is tolerated. I guess racism is okay if it’s for “art”.

* Wisdom of the Day from Jon Gabriel:

If I owned a dog, it would probably look a lot like the one Obama ate.

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Obama Finally Decides on Official 2012 Campaign Slogan

Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:22 am

Frank already broke the news, and I found the official campaign poster:

[Reference link]

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Random Thoughts: More Dog-Eating Fun

Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:36 am

Obama ate a dog.

Obama said people talk to him like he’s a dog. Well, you are what you eat.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I’m pretty afraid of what will happen when Obama meets with my representative Raul Labrador.

You can disagree with Romney’s transportation method, but his dog always arrived at the destination alive and uneaten.

Quiet! You’re all making baby Obama cry!

Obama was surprised when he went to see The Hunger Games and it wasn’t about dog racing.

TEACHER: “What sound does a dog make?”
LITTLE BARACK: “Usually a sort of sizzle.”

Obama 2012: “How much is that doggie in the window?”

“Ann Romney never worked a day in her life!”
“She also never ate a dog.”

Some people don’t seem to have a coherent politically philosophy beyond that they like sneering at everyone.

So was the Obama team really expecting to ride the roof of Romney’s car all the way to reelection?

Obama 2012: “Reelect me president or I’ll eat this dog.”

Obama: “Romney can’t relate with the common man; he probably only eats purebreds.”

So what would Obama rather be talking about? How he eats dogs or the state of the economy?

He might actually publicly chomp down on a poodle just to keep people from talking about the bigger issues.

Dennis Miller is pretty funny when you can figure out what the hell he’s talking about.

Had a few people try and tell me the Romney thing was horrible but Obama dog-eating is nothing. My response: nomnomnom

Whether you agree with Bill O’Reilly’s politics or not, if you’ve read one of his books you have to admit the guy knows his python code.

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UPDATE: Linked by Never Yet Melted

UPDATE: Linked by The Village Voice

UPDATE: Linked by Dog Training Guidance

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Man Bites Dog!

Thursday, April 19, 2012 2:08 am

THIS brings a whole new meaning to that old commercial jingle:

♪ The dog kids love to bite! ♪

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

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Dogs Against Obama

Thursday, April 19, 2012 1:18 am

The inevitable website, Dogs Against Obama, is now a reality, featuring items such as this:

Fair warning, it can get… indelicate… there on occasion, so look over your shoulder before hitting the link and make sure there are no kids or bosses lurking about.

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Link of the Day: Where’s Bo? Has Anyone Seen Bo?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 6:06 pm

[High Praise! to seanmahair]

The President’s dog is missing!

By the way, does Obama own any of America’s 17 remaining Dog n Suds?

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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UPDATE: Linked by Liberal Whoppers

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Government’s Choose My Plate Logo Updated

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 11:05 am

If any of you digital image rehab artists want to do a fancier version, a good plate pic can be found here. You can send it to me at, and depending on its level of awesomeness, I may post it.

UPDATE: Les of Brick Moon [High Praise!] took me up on the challenge and succeeded wildly:

UPDATE: Larsinkima [High Praise!] piles on:

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Nuke the News: Obama Bites Dog

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 11:00 am

* Obama ate a dog. I’m thinking this will be the news story for a little while, especially after Obama’s campaign has gone after Romney for strapping a dog to the top of his car. They figured it would actually hurt Romney because people like dogs so much. So how will people react to Obama eating a dog?

Strangely, this revelation was out in the open in one of Obama’s memoirs, it was just up to Jim Treacher to find it as it’s not like the MSM is going to notice little details like that on someone who isn’t a Republican. A member of the Romney campaign has already made a joke about it (playing off a joke David Axelrod made implying Romney doesn’t care about dogs). The Obama campaign response was that he was a kid when he ate the dog. So there’s the defense: “Obama 2012: It’s been a while since he last ate a dog.”

I kind of humored myself out on this last night when I first heard of it, so make sure to check out my Random Thoughts on it. I’m sure I’ll come up with more jokes soon, though. I mean, come on, he ate a dog.

* The Obama campaign is planning to use “trust” as a campaign buzzword. I’m not sure that will work since right now a lot of people are thinking about how they wouldn’t trust him with walking Fido.

* See, I told you.

* Michelle Obama said about her husband, “This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.” Something about Obama eating a dog goes here.

* The shuttle Discovery flew around DC on the back of a Boeing 747. Once, a long time ago, America could get men into space, and now all NASA can do is give piggy back rides. The little kid I was in the 80s reading about space would be pretty depressed to hear what actually happened with our space program in the coming decades.

Obama very much wants to revive our space program… though it’s mainly because he thinks Laika is still up there. Mmm… free dog meat.

* Basil sent me this neat link. Apparently in front of Japanese shopping mall, they built a full size Gundam robot statue. That sure beats some boring bronze statue of a guy on a horse. Also, Obama ate a dog.

* Wisdom of the Day from James Taranto:

This is what happens when you elect someone president without properly vetting him.

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Random Thoughts: Obama Ate a Dog Edition

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 9:30 am

In case you missed it, Obama once ate a dog.

Obama: “I can’t believe Romney strapped his dog to the roof of his car. That ruins the flavor.”

I should have suspected something when Obama stopped by Glenn Reynolds’s house for drinks.

All jokes aside, Obama obviously loves dogs. He even wrote a book “To Serve Dog.”

For those not getting the humor, eating a dog in our culture is considered a bit sociopathic.

Our culture is superior.

Politics, it’s an Obama-eat-dog world.

Obama 2012: “Mmm… puppies.”

Obama 2012: “And your little dog, too!”

Obama isn’t anti-woman; when he said “bitch,” he was referring to his meal.

This is a humor goldmine. This is the best thing Obama has ever done for me.

Obama can’t spend his time on these silly attacks; he has a lot on his plate right now.

When Obama was looking for a dog he wasn’t allergic to, I thought it was the dander he was worried about.

There’s that out of touch Romney, too rich to ever have to eat a dog.

Obama: “This proper dog care course is useless; they haven’t said on thing about how long to marinate them.”

Obama 2012: “Hasn’t eaten a dog in awhile.”

Obama: “Well what was I supposed to do with the leftovers from my dog fighting ring?”

Dog bites man – not news. Man bites dog – news. President bites dog – BEST NIGHT OF TWITTER EVER!!!

I thought something funny would happen to Obama like when Carter was bitten by a rabbit, but I was way off.

How can you tell if you’re a humorless lefty? You don’t find this dog stuff hilarious.

We need to get Jeremiah Wright’s opinion on this dog eating thing.

“I promise you: If you like your dog, you can keep him. Though I may ask you to share some with me.”

Obama: “Call me a ‘foodie,’ but I really love the Westminster Dog Show.”

Cesar Milan: “Remember, it’s exercise, discipline, then affection.”
Obama: “Yeah, but what temperature do I set the oven?”

Obama was so disappointed when he went to Taco Bell and found out they didn’t actually have Chihuahuas.

This is a good opportunity if Marmaduke ever wanted to be politically relevant.

I could do this all night, but I’m dog tired – which to Obama means being sleepy from having a big meal.

UPDATE: More of Frank’s “Obama ate a dog” jokes.

UPDATE: The full “Obama Ate a Dog” category – your one-stop-shop for Obama dog-eating humor.

UPDATE: Linked at The Virginian

UPDATE: Linked by Transterrestrial Musings

UPDATE: Linked by Instapundit, who DOES know what Frank’s talking about.

UPDATE: Linked by BizzyBlog

UPDATE: Linked by NerdWatch

UPDATE: Linked by YouViewed

UPDATE: Linked by Blog de KingShamus

UPDATE: Linked by The Conservatory

UPDATE: Linked by I’m 41

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UPDATE: Linked by Catallaxy Files

UPDATE: Linked by VA Viper

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